The Bee Gees' albums... how many? (part 3)

Once more into the trench....

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ROBIN GIBB SOLO

[?] MY OWN WORK (1969)
Ah, here's one that most fans probably haven't heard about; the only mention I've ever seen was on Joseph Brennan's Gibb Songs site, where information is scattered. In a nutshell, this was apparently an album Robin was working on not long before "Robin's Reign", and in a 1969 interview, he revealed the 11-song tracklist. The entire thing was scrapped (none of it appeared on "Robin's Reign"), and most of the songs have yet to even make it to a bootleg. Perhaps this never got past a rough plan, and the material wasn't actually recorded??

[1] ROBIN'S REIGN (1970)
This came out instead. As Robin was no longer a member of the Bee Gees, this was the direct competition to Barry and Maurice's "Cucumber Castle" LP.

[?] SING SLOWLY SISTERS (1970)
After the relative success of "Robin's Reign" (and the official disintegration of the Bee Gees), Robin recorded this lushly orchestrated, downbeat album - another entry into the lost 'solo trilogy' of 1970. A tracklist was allegedly decided upon, but like the other brothers' recordings from this time period, this was scrapped when the group decided to reform for "2 Years On."

[2] HOW OLD ARE YOU? (1983)
[3] SECRET AGENT (1984)
[4] WALLS HAVE EYES (1985)
Three released solo albums. Sort of. While "Secret Agent" was indeed Robin alone, "How Old Are You" is much closer to being a Robin and Maurice LP (to the point of Maurice even providing lead vocals in places), and "Walls Have Eyes" includes both Maurice and Barry.

[5] MAGNET (2003)
Robin's solo projects went totally quiet during the remainder of the Bee Gees' time as a threesome; this emerged after the group's final disintegration. Unfortunately, instead of a strict pop album, Robin decided to make this one hip-hop. Robin, a middle-aged white Englishman, sings songs about getting freaky in the shower and sipping Cris. Why, God, why??

[?] LIVE (2005)
Another entry into the Bee Gees' live album canon.... as painful as it is. Even above "Magnet," this is truly the weakest Gibb-related release ever, displaying both Robin's complete massacre of Bee Gees tunes (including those written by and tailored for Barry), and an absolutely unprofessional mix that renders this disc bootleg quality.

[6] MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROLS (2006)
But that's forgiven, because this album is absolutely fantastic! :-) Strangely, the complete album was only released in Germany; some countries removed Robin's composition "Mother of Love", while only Germany included the very out-of-place tracks "Christmas Eve or Halloween" (a Bee Gees recording from 1968) and "Ellan Vannin".

[7?] 50 ST. CATHERINE'S DRIVE (2010?)
Whether this will be released is still unknown. A finished version of the album was filed with the US copyright office in 2008, though Robin is said to have revised the tracklist since then. Something to look forward to in the future I suppose.

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MAURICE GIBB SOLO

[?] (UNTITLED SYNTHESIZER ALBUM) (1969?)
A collaboration with Ringo Starr. According to the Gibbs' official biography, for a couple years, Maurice and Ringo were planning an avant garde album of bizarre Moog tracks. The only known title from this project is "Modulating Maurice," which featured Maurice saying random phrases over Ringo's instrumental backing. (Despite popular belief, this track has never been bootlegged; this song title was given to an unrelated Bee Gees instrumental.) I actually seem to remember hearing that the tapes for this album no longer exist, but don't take my word on that.

[?] SING A RUDE SONG (1969)
This one is a toughie, as it's not *technically* a Maurice album. While he was pushed as one of the stars of this London musical, he is only audible on three songs, though he is featured on the cover (shades of "Saturday Night Fever"), and produced the entire album. If this can be counted, this would actually be Maurice's only released work to date.

[?] THE LONER (1970)
Maurice's entry into the unreleased 1970 trilogy. In a perfect world, this fantastic album will emerge on a long-overdue compilation of Maurice's recordings (why one wasn't released after his passing, I don't know), but again, time will tell. Sadly, bootleg versions are poor quality; but the original Japanese boot (which thankfully is presented without the extreme sound reduction used on the later edition) is still essential listening.

[??] STRINGS AND THINGS (1981)
An album of synthesizer-based instrumentals, which doesn't seem to have ever been finished, as only a few song titles and one actual track (which may or may not be the title track) have emerged. Judging from that one song alone, this could have been an impressive disc.

[?] A BREED APART (1984)
One of Maurice's film scores. This soundtrack LP, available as a bootleg, was originally set for release in 1984 alongside the film. However, the film was delayed until 1986, and failed to make a splash upon release. The proposed soundtrack was scrapped.

[??] THE SUPERNATURALS (1985)
Though this was a finished work (another film score, to be precise), I'm putting it in the 'two question marks' category, as a release may have never actually been planned. Though Maurice's score appeared in some copies of the film (and Maurice actually has an on-screen cameo), the common version replaces his score with that of another composer. Thus, while it's possible that a soundtrack LP by Maurice could have been considered very early on, it most likely never went beyond the consideration phase. The reason it's even worth including here is that bootleggers actually took it upon themselves to release a CD of Maurice's score, obviously recorded directly from the film, in a deceptively legitimate-looking cover.

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ANDY GIBB
While Andy was not technically a Bee Gee, as he did not appear on any of their released material, he is still a Brother Gibb, and as such, his work is often included alongside that of the other three in discographies.

[?] (UNTITLED ALBUM) (1975)
While his older brothers were enjoying the start of their disco heyday, Andy was in Australia, trying to launch a career. He did manage to release one single there ("Words and Music"), which could have possibly been the title track of this album. Unfortunately, though this seems to have been completed, nothing else has emerged of this project.

[1] FLOWING RIVERS (1977)
[2] SHADOW DANCING (1978)
[3] AFTER DARK (1980)
Andy's brief output, cut short by his alarming use of drugs. By 1980, his ability to perform had deteriorated in such a way that Barry had to step in, with the result that "After Dark" is really an uncredited collaboration between the two - even including Barry on vocals (doing his best Andy impression) when Andy's cocaine-worn abilities were not sufficient.

[?] IT'S MY NEIGHBORHOOD (aka MAN ON FIRE) (1988)
Throughout the Eighties, Andy announced several times that he was planning a comeback album. This seems to be the most successful attempt, as it was actually given a title (which sources are unsure about - Gibb Songs calls it "It's My Neighborhood", while the official biography of the Bee Gees claims that that title was later changed to "Man On Fire.") A handful of songs are known to exist, and it seemed that Andy might've been onto something here, finally... until his death of heart disease before its completion.

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Well, that's everything... let's see what we have.

BEE GEES
* 22 officially released studio albums
* 2 unauthorized (but still commercially available) studio albums
* 1 unreleased (but complete) official studio album
* 1 unreleased album not intended for public ears
* 2 officially released live albums
* 1 unauthorized (but still commercially available) live album
* 3 soundtracks with notable Bee Gees involvement
* 1 soundtrack with little Bee Gees involvement, but several older Gibb compositions (some of which aren't performed by the group themselves)
* 1 soundtrack with a couple new Bee Gees tracks, as well as other new Gibb compositions performed by different artists

BARRY
* 4 officially released demo albums
* 1 sort-of officially released demo album
* 2 officially released full-fledged studio albums (I'll put "Hawks" in here too)
* 1 unreleased (but complete) official studio album
* 1 unreleased album that was technically revised and released

ROBIN
* 6 officially released studio album
* 1 officially released live album
* 1 possibly forthcoming studio album
* 1 unreleased (but complete) official solo album
* 1 unreleased solo album that may not actually exist

MAURICE
* 1 officially released stage cast album, with other artists
* 2 unreleased (but complete) official solo albums (I'm putting "A Breed Apart" in here)
* 1 unreleased and probably unfinished solo album
* 1 unreleased and probably unfinished collaboration with Ringo Starr
* 1 unreleased soundtrack probably not planned for release

ANDY
* 3 officially released albums
* 1 unreleased (but complete) official solo album
* 1 unreleased and unfinished solo album

It wouldn't really be fair to tally these up, as it's impossible to say what should be included in the tally. One thing to remember, however, is that despite the general distinction between group and solo albums, the group actually tends to lump solo works (sometimes, but not always, including Andy's) together with group recordings - solo tracks have appeared on official Bee Gees compilations, for example, and the upcoming "Mythology" box even includes a disc of Andy material. So it's fair to say that most of not all of the above albums can be considered 'Bee Gees albums', even if they're not strictly such.

Total, the four brothers at least stamped their headlining names on an astounding *64* albums, but again, this is a very, very broad look at their wide body of recordings.

Incidentally, as a note for collectors, very few of these (despite the wealth of unreleased projects) are totally unavailable - much of the rare material is available in bootleg form somewhere. These are the items you shouldn't hold your breath for, because you won't find 'em:

• BEE GEES - third Australian album [in its entirety - "If I Needed Someone" and "Another Tear Falls" have never emerged into the collector's circuit]
  
• BARRY - "Guilty Pleasures Demos" [entire tracks - the bootleg CD contains the truncated versions!]
• ROBIN - "My Own Work"
• ROBIN - "50 St. Catherine's Drive" [what exists of it now, at least]
• MAURICE - untitled synthesizer album with Ringo
• MAURICE - "Strings and Things"
• ANDY - untitled Australian album
• ANDY - "It's My Neighborhood" (or "Man On Fire")

The Bee Gees' albums... how many? (part 2)

Okay, homework's done with, so where were we? Ah, that's right, I stopped after "Staying Alive". Alright, so it's the early Eighties, and the Bee Gees aren't making any music together....

...Well, actually, they are. Though it obviously won't count towards our number of group albums, Robin's solo album "Walls Have Eyes" was really a joint project between all three brothers, and indeed, his brothers are clearly heard on tracks like 'Toys'. But, nevermind that, because the boys officially reformed shortly after.

[17] E.S.P. (1987)
[18] ONE (1989)
[19] HIGH CIVILISATION (1991)
Three more studio albums added to their catalog. This era is notable, as it marked the loss of brother Andy - something discussed forthright on the "One" album.

[??] THE BUNBURY TAILS (1992)
And we hit a snag here. The Bunburys were a cartoon helmed by Bee Gees compatriot David English, with some input from Barry. I don't believe that I've actually seen this credited as a Bee Gees album anywhere, though a number of the tracks on this soundtrack were either performed by the group or written by the group for other artists. (Sadly, this obscure album is the only official home of No Hat Moon's performance of Barry's stunning "Seasons".) So, our choice is either to toss it in the "Melody" pile, since four of the Gibbs' six contributions are by other artists; or to put it in the "Staying Alive" pile, since the songs were all written for this soundtrack. I'll choose the latter. (Now, don't make me explain those piles, because I'll just end up confusing myself. Just slap this alongside the other various artists LP's mentioned and let's move on before someone's brain aches...)

[20] SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING (1993)
[21] STILL WATERS (1997)
Two more studio albums. Incidentally, 1995 was meant to include the release of "Love Songs," a compilation for which the group recorded a handful of new tracks; this never emerged (and no, this wasn't the recent compilation of that title), and the new tracks appeared elsewhere.

[?] ONE NIGHT ONLY (1998)
Again, as with "Here At Last", this is a live album. But man, I almost feel bad having to relegate it to "miscellaneous" status, because it's so damn important - it marked a major tour in the Bee Gees' careers, and was accompanied by a video. But, I suppose it just all comes down to being the truncated soundtrack to a video, shorn of six songs in order to fit on a single disc.

[22] THIS IS WHERE I CAME IN (2001)
One last studio album for the trio... at this point, the boys were recording tracks separately ("White Album" style I suppose), and their growing conflicts would continue to boil, even beyond Maurice's death in 2003.

However, as of late 2009, Robin and Barry have reformed (as the Bee Gees), so there's always the possibility of a 23rd album.........

[?] AUSTRALIAN TOUR 1989 (2009)
Thought I should throw this last minute addition onto the pile. This commercially released two-disc set of the "One For All" tour was released without the brothers' permission, due to some copyright loophole in Australia that allows the unauthorized release of live recordings 20 years after recording takes place. This still seems fairly unknown by fans, but time will tell if the brothers give it any official notice.

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Alright, that covers the Bee Gees as a group.... now things get really ugly.

BARRY GIBB SOLO

[?] THE KID'S NO GOOD (1970)
See, here's why the solo projects get so ugly - because many of them were never released (or necessarily finished), so it's impossible to determine which should count and which shouldn't, since they obviously didn't inspire a release, no matter their state of completion. (More on that later.) This particular album, recorded during the Bee Gees' 1970 split, was finished. This was Barry's entry into a trio of solo albums that would be worked on, and scrapped, during that time period.

[1] GUILTY DEMOS (1979 / 2006)
[2] HEARTBREAKER DEMOS (1982 / 2006)
[3] EYES THAT SEE IN THE DARK DEMOS (1983 / 2006)
And then here's another issue. Alright, so, during the Bee Gees' post-Fever lull, Barry enjoyed writing entire albums for artists; and for each, he would record a private version of the entire album as a guideline for the respective artist. All of these were released on iTunes a couple years ago. So, after years of bootleg copies, they have entered the realm of released recordings - the only confusion lies in how to number them. Either they should be numbered according to recording chronology in relation to Barry's other albums, or they should be numbered based on their 2006 release. I'll leave that decision up to readers.

[4] NOW VOYAGER (1984)
The first Barry album to actually reach the market - well, Barry by himself, as he featured heavily on the artists' final versions of his demo recordings. This was accompanied by a short film showcasing the album's music.

[5] EATEN ALIVE DEMOS (1985 / 2006)
One more demo album, this time for Diana Ross. Unlike the others, this was never bootlegged; and the iTunes version is lacking the title track, the rights for which lay in the hands of its co-author, Michael Jackson.

[?] MOONLIGHT MADNESS (1986)
An unreleased album. I'm less apt to count this one, because much of the material would be recycled a couple years later on a similar LP. (Incidentally, this album is also sometimes referred to as "My Eternal Love.")

[6] HAWKS (1988)
And this is what became of "Moonlight Madness." That scrapped album was revamped as this movie soundtrack, all of which is performed by Barry, save "Chain Reaction" by Diana Ross (which was also a Gibb composition).

Well, that's all of Barry's solo albums, really.... except this little bit of confusion:

[?] GUILTY PLEASURES DEMOS (2005)
For the sequel to his 1979 project with Barbra Streisand, Barry wrote another album's worth of songs, and recorded an album's worth of demos (save "Don't Throw It All Away" and "Letting Go", which were previously released). So we can at least toss this in the 'unreleased' pile... or can we? Well, yes and no. Barry DID release these tracks, but not in any concrete form; their only appearance was in the 'Radio' stream on Barry's site, and there, they were intentionally faded in and out so that fans only heard two-minute-or-so chunks of them. Unless we see a full release someday (which may not occur, as Barry's iTunes days seem to be over), I won't count this.

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Off to bed I go... as soon as I can, I'll wrap this up. Robin's releases are fairly straightforward, Andy's have some interesting points, and as for Maurice... well, we'll see when I get there. His discography is a bit of a disaster.

The Bee Gees albums.... how many?? (part 1)

Next year, the Bee Gees will be celebrating their 50th anniversary. (Some of you are going "Holy shit, Stayin' Alive came out 50 years ago?") Since their foundation in 1960 (which doesn't seem right, as I believe they started recording demos in 1958 - but this isn't my place to judge), they've recorded.... well, a lot of albums, both as a group and as solo artists.

But it's time to look back and think... just how many albums did these three talented brothers churn out, anyway? The Bee Gees' discography is complicated, because no one has a set opinion on what exactly constitutes their catalog. Does Andy's music count? Does "Saturday Night Fever" count, even though it's not strictly a Bee Gees album? What about the unreleased albums? The Australian albums? The unauthorized third Australian album? But wait, weren't there FOUR Australian albums?

Alright, let's sort this out. Albums with numbers are certainly counted; albums with one question should be counted, but most likely aren't officially counted by the Bee Gees; albums with two question marks are more confusing.

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THE BEE GEES AS A GROUP

[1] THE BEE GEES SING AND PLAY 14 BARRY GIBB SONGS (1965 - Australia only)
The first album, plain and simple, even though it was technically comprised mainly of previously released singles.

[2] SPICKS AND SPECKS (1966 - Australia only)
The second album. Also known as "Monday's Rain."

[??] (THIRD AUSTRALIAN ALBUM?) (1966)
An entire album exists of outtakes from around the time of the "Spicks and Specks" album sessions. Much of this material (save two tracks, which haven't even been bootlegged) appeared on the 'Inception/Nostalgia' collection. However, given the fact that some of these tracks are merely sloppy in-studio piss takes of other artists' songs, it's unlikely that this was intended for release, despite rumors otherwise. Why this even exists as a record is unknown.

[3] BEE GEES' FIRST (1967)
Whoa, wait... it certainly isn't! Well, it was the Bee Gees' first international album, and since they were unknown outside of Australia at this point, no one else would have been aware in the slightest that they had two local albums there. Calling this "Bee Gees' Third" would've been silly.

[?] TURN AROUND, LOOK AT US (1967 - Australia only)
This one's tough, as the Bee Gees seem to ignore it completely, especially since they didn't authorize it to begin with. After the boys had moved back to England, their Australian label released *this* as their third album, despite it containing absolutely no new material - just more as-yet-uncompiled singles and some repeats from "Sing and Play". The status of this rare LP depends on who you ask, really.

[4] HORIZONTAL (1968)
The Bee Gees' second international album.

[5] IDEA (1968)
The Bee Gees' third international album.

[6] ODESSA (1969)
The Bee Gees' fourth international album, and last with all three brothers for a little while. (Note that this was later split into two separate LP's - "Sound Of Love" and "Marley Purt Drive".)

[?] INCEPTION / NOSTALGIA (1970)
A very bizarre release. This 2-LP set of unique material (all Australian outtakes, some of which originally appeared on the mysterious unreleased 1966 LP) was released on Polydor without the consent of the group... but only in Germany and France. The brothers didn't even know about it until they found it in a Swiss record store after the fact. Even still, it is entirely fresh material... but then, the fact that they didn't consent to it probably bumps it from their catalog.

[7] CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970)
Credited as "The Bee Gees", though it isn't really... Robin Gibb was off on his own at this point, leaving Barry and Maurice to create both this album and an accompanying TV movie featuring its music.

[8] 2 YEARS ON (1970)
The group's 'reunion album', featuring the return of Robin.

[??] MELODY (1971)
A soundtrack album, which features one new Bee Gees track (a remake of "In The Morning" from Inception/Nostalgia), a couple older tracks, and some orchestral covers of Bee Gees tunes. Half of the album is completely unrelated to the group. Not quite the caliber of their contributions to "Saturday Night Fever", because their actual work on this soundtrack is limited to one track. If it wasn't for the Bee Gees' official biography "Tales Of The Brothers Gibb" claiming that people commonly mistake this obscure soundtrack for a Bee Gees' album, it wouldn't even be worth a mention.

[9] TRAFALGAR (1971)
[10] TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (1972)
[11] LIFE IN A TIN CAN (1973)
Standard releases, nothing of note to mention.

[?] A KICK IN THE HEAD IS WORTH EIGHT IN THE PANTS (1973)
And then we hit this one. This LP, which was actually completed and sequenced into a reasonable track order, was recorded as the follow-up to the dull "Life In A Tin Can", but cancelled when group manager Robert Stigwood decided it was 'not worthy of them.' (Being far superior to "Tin Can" in many fans' eyes, Stigwood may have made a mistake.) It may be safe to say that the group doesn't consider a scrapped album, especially one that they have openly dismissed as poor material (....Christ, guys! It has "Castles In The Air", a wonderful song!!), as part of their catalog. The only thing that may change this is if Rhino finally continues their reissue series, and puts this album out once and for all. Time will tell.

[12] MR. NATURAL (1974)
[13] MAIN COURSE (1975)
[14] CHILDREN OF THE WORLD (1976)
More standard studio albums, nothing of note.

[?] HERE AT LAST... LIVE (1977)
This one's tricky. While it is technically part of their standard stream of releases, the group apparently doesn't consider it one of their primary releases, due to it being a live album. We'll leave this one up in the air.

[?] SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER (1977)
Okay... let's look at the facts here. a) The four songs that start this album were intended for the Bee Gees' next studio album, and not a movie. b) More of that studio album was recorded, and not used here. c) Much of the material on this soundtrack is not related to the Bee Gees. d) In spite of this, the Bee Gees are on the front cover, and were given top billing for the film's score. In the grand scheme of things, the Bee Gees are probably given an unfair amount of credit for what is just a various artists soundtrack. Hell, two of their songs are just pulled from older albums. But, the cold hard fact is, to the group's chagrin, this is the album most associated with them. I honestly don't know.

[?] SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)
Yes, the Bee Gees have disowned both this album and the film, refusing to include Robin's hit version of "Oh! Darling" on any of their authorized compilations. However, the group's contribution to this soundtrack is MUCH larger than that of "Saturday Night Fever," with at least one of the brothers appearing on half (or more) of the songs in the two LP set. It is, like SNF, technically a various artists album however, so it's silly to give the Bee Gees full credit, especially when they really, really don't want credit for this.

[15] SPIRITS HAVING FLOWN (1979)
[16] LIVING EYES (1981)
Nothing confusing here, either - just two more studio albums.

[?] STAYING ALIVE (1983)
The soundtrack to the "Saturday Night Fever" sequel. Like its predecessor, the Bee Gees are often given top billing for this soundtrack, despite half of it being by other artists. (This one's only a single LP, so the Bee Gees' five new songs, plus a drastically edited version of "Stayin' Alive", comprise a full half.) It's actually not even certain that these is true Bee Gees music, as Barry is the only member detectable - at this point, Robin and Maurice were actually off working on their own projects, and may not be on these tracks at all. Who knows? Toss this one in the "various artists" pile with SNF, Melody and Pepper.

Alright, so we're to the Bee Gees' Eighties split... and I need to do homework! :-P More to come...

"Nightflight To Venus" - a musical butchery?

I've come to realize over the course of time that mentioning Boney M. in America doesn't mean a whole lot to people. I was originally introduced to them after receiving a CD of megamixes, one of which blended a dozen or so Boney M. tunes, all of which I'd just assumed were hits here at some point... not true, apparently. (They're mainly known here as "whatever band that was that did a disco version of 'Mary's Boy Child'.")

A handful of their biggest hits ("Rasputin", "Painter Man", "Rivers of Babylon") stemmed from the same LP - 1978's "Nightflight To Venus". For years, all I had of this album was a very poor MP3 copy that I found on Usenet at some point, apparently ripped from the CD. It wasn't until I read a review recently, however, that I found my copy to be incomplete - previous editions were quite different.

Browsing through Wikipedia's pages about Boney M.'s albums, I came to realize that they were apparently *very* anal retentive about their material, issuing several different versions of each album. "Nightflight To Venus" was no exception - the original pressing hailed from Germany, where the group had the most popularity; and this now extremely rare version offered the most material. Over the course of the following three pressings, several songs became shorter and shorter, for reasons I'm unaware of. The worst casualty was the album's opening 13-minute medley of "Nightflight To Venus" and "Rasputin", which was eventually chopped down to nearly half its original length by the time of the 4th pressing - unfortunately, the pressing that formed the basis of the CD.

While the hit "Rasputin" mainly lost a handful of small musical passages with no lyrical changes, the title track was shuffled and hacked several times into a mere collection of edits and brief chunks. Based heavily around Cozy Powell's hit "Dance with the Devil", "Nightflight To Venus" was a drum-heavy intro, with a robotic-voiced tour guide describing the listener's flight to Venus aboard the Starship Boney M. Throughout the course of the seven minute track, he pointed out Moon City ("a boomtown if ever there was"), and detailed the process of making Venus inhabitable to humans. Great concept... though unfortunately, Boney M. seemed to disagree, as much of his dialogue was removed by the final pressing.

Thankfully, there exists a torrent (link below) that compiles variations from the four pressings of the album into a handy 2-CD set. I took the time recently to compare the four different edits of the title track, detailed below... so if you have one of the later pressings or the commercial CD, you may be surprised at how much you're missing... (Note that the changes are not merely lyrical, as the musical mix varied from pressing to pressing as well.)

=================================================

White text denotes lyrics standard to all pressings.
Pink lyrics were exclusive to the 1st pressing (7:11).
Green lyrics appeared in both the 1st and 2nd (5:53) pressings, but were later removed.
Blue lyrics appeared in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd (4:58) pressings, but were removed for the 4th/CD (4:47) pressing.
Gold lyrics appeared in the 1st, 3rd and 4th/CD pressings, but not the 2nd.
Purple lyrics appeared in the 2nd, 3rd and 4th/CD pressings, but not the 1st.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the starship Boney M. for our first passenger flight to Venus.
Ready for countdown.
Ten. (Nightflight to Venus...)
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six. (Nightflight to Venus...)
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two. (Nightflight to Venus...)
One.
Ignition.
Lift-off."

Nightflight to Venus
Way out there in space
Nightflight to Venus
Our new favorite place
Nightflight to Venus
We got the all-clear [OR] All systems are go
Nightflight to Venus
The moment is here [OR] The sky is a-glow
[The verse appears twice in the first pressing only - all other pressings replace the
original latter half with the second half of the otherwise unused second verse.]

(Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!)
[This chant stands alone on pressings 1 and 2, but is mixed under the following
tour guide speech on 3 and 4. Oddly, pressing 2 is missing eight "hey"s.]

Nightflight to Venus!
Nightflight to Venus!
[As the placement of the chant differed, these sung lines appeared before the tour
guide's speech on pressings 1 and 2, but after the speech on 3 and 4.]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have had a successful take-off on this first nightflight to Venus. Our flying time will be eight hours. You'll be travelling at a speed of 2,183 miles per second - that is, seven and one half million miles per hour. The distance from mother Earth to Venus is 60 million miles at this time."

"To your left, you can see the mountains of the Moon; and right in the center, under a huge plastic bubble, Moon City - a boomtown if ever there was one, because of the huge gold and diamond veins. As for Venus, it took almost ninety years to cool down the planet from its 500 degrees to the current pleasant 75 degrees, and to transform the atmosphere to make it inhabitable for Earth people."

Nightflight to Venus
Way out there in space
Nightflight to Venus
Our new favorite place
Nightflight to Venus
All systems are go
Nightflight to Venus
The sky is a-glow
[This verse went through a few changes - originally, it appeared in full, before losing
its last four lines for pressing 2; pressings 3 and 4 remove this verse completely. As
previously mentioned, the last four lines replaced those of the first verse in pressings 2-4.]

"Captain - unidentified object at eight o'clock. Two million miles away."
"Stand by for emergency maneuver."
"Object coming closer with the speed of light. We have eight more seconds. Object coming closer. We have five more seconds."
"Changing course by 4.6 degrees."
"Order executed."
"That was a close one, ladies and gentlemen. A meteor just passed us on its way to infinity. Well, you can see, even in space, traffic is getting heavier all the time."

"Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes, we are going to be landing on Venus. Push the button on your left side. The safety mechanism will do the rest for you. We hope you enjoyed the world's first nightflight to Venus. Have a good time there."

[At this point on all versions, the looped drum beat serves as a transition into "Rasputin,"
eventually accelerating to that song's slightly faster tempo.]

=================================================

Well, that should cover it; incidentally, an extremely truncated 1:30 edit of "Nightflight" (missing ALL vocal sections) was used as an intro for the 12" single of "Rasputin".

As for the torrent mentioned above, it can be downloaded from the Pirate Bay:
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3868953/Boney_M._-_Nightflight_To_Venus_Collection_(1978__2CD)

For fans of the album, especially those disappointed by the recent remastered edition (which STILL used the butchered 4th pressing versions), this is essential, first presenting the ultimate cut of the album compiled from several different sources, followed by numerous other variations. Dig that 'marching band trumpets' version of "Rasputin"! :-P

"Sgt. Pepper" - the little musical that should've

Last night I finally stopped trying to resist the urge to dig out my worn, ancient VHS of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." (I'd like to upgrade to DVD someday - I heard the picture quality is vastly superior to the VHS versions.) I've lost count of how many times I've seen this movie, but unlike the rest of human civilization, I actually enjoy it. A lot. I can't necessarily explain why but... it's just such a great movie! I mean, it has the Bee Gees! Steve Martin! Peter Frampton! Singing robots! Disco Beatles! How can you go wrong?!

Well...

* There's no dialogue. Well, very little, at least - and all of it comes from George Burns. His narration pops up when you don't need it, and is nowhere to be found when you expect it. (Did you also notice that he tends to repeat himself in the same sentence? He'll say something once, then say it over again, slightly reworded.)

* There's characters named Billy Shears, Dr. Maxwell Edison, Strawberry Fields, Mr. Kite, Mr. Mustard, Lucy (lead singer of The Diamonds), the Hendersons... but hey, "Across The Universe" did it and no one complained, did they?

* Some scenes seem like particularly poor rehearsal footage - "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" especially. I'm assuming they didn't redo it because Steve Martin was only available briefly, but come on... that whole scene's one blooper after another!

* Despite the music being helmed by the Beatles' own George Martin, the arrangements stray quite a bit from the originals. "She's Leaving Home" is sung by robots.

But the hell with all the usual gripes, why is it GOOD?

* The new arrangements actually aren't that bad... "She's Leaving Home" isn't even entirely awful. Hell, I love the 10-minute disco version of "She's So Heavy"; shame it wasn't on the soundtrack like that.

* It's funny! The Bee Gees were known for their sense of humor, and it shows. Just a shame they didn't find the public's reaction to this movie particular funny...

* Billy Preston does the best version of "Get Back", ever. (I don't even care about the usual "why does Sgt. Pepper become a black guy?" gripe - it's not supposed to be the actual person, it's supposed to be the weather vane!)

* Just when you think they can't pack in more random celebrities... AEROSMITH!

* The ending is brilliant - the "Sgt. Pepper" LP cover reenacted with then-current celebrities. And tons of them. (But not including, as popular belief has it, Messrs. McCartney and Harrison.)

* Craterface from "Grease" is in it! Yeah, I know that doesn't make the movie better, but I just noticed that yesterday and was totally surprised. (He's one of the dancers in "Maxwell's Silver Hammer".)

* Peter Frampton! In a movie! No, he's not the greatest actor in the world, but how many times do you see Peter Frampton in a movie? "Almost Famous" is his only other acting credit, to my knowledge.

* It's better than the movies the Beatles were actually in... I mean, come on. "Magical Mystery Tour" was terrible. What the hell was that about? They're on a bus and then they're drunk and then... there's a stripper? Then they're in tuxedos? Huh. Not for me.

* The opening of the movie is just bad-ass. It opens in World War I (complete with period-friendly Paramount logo), and shows the progression of Sgt. Pepper's Band over several decades, with an appropriate rearrangement of the song to match. Then, when we get up to date, the new Sgt. Pepper's Band rocks the house!

* Steve Martin is in it being his regular goofy self. I know that's not so special nowadays, but back then, seeing Steve in a movie was rare. (Y'know, before he was making movies whose main joke was the word "hamburger.")

* It completely sums up rock music at that time. Frampton, the Bee Gees, funk, disco, Aerosmith, Earth Wind and Fire, Alice Cooper... all in one awkward bundle! Just a shame that... you know, the soundtrack album ended up being dumped in a landfill. *sigh*

Seriously, though, give "Sgt. Pepper" a chance. ESPECIALLY if you liked "Across The Universe." Like most things turn out to be (except the 1994 season of SNL), it's nowhere near as bad as legend would have it.

Late night rambles #1

It's 2:01 AM, and I'm not particularly tired, and I don't particularly want to try and force myself to sleep, so I thought the best thing to do would be to just spew out whatever random thoughts might occur to me. :-)

* I'm listening to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" for probably the 550th time in my life, this time because it happened to be on my iTunes... two things occurred to me. One, that this would make great music to accompany some sort of large-scale police bust of a psychopath in a movie; and two, that it's already been done. (I was momentarily unaware that I pretty much pictured the ending to the late Eighties "Silence Of The Lambs" prequel, "Manhunter." There's a big scene where the crazy guy roughs up a blind girl to the accompaniment of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" while the cops surround his house.)

* Anyone who hated Chumbawamba because of "Tubthumping" could potentially find more fodder for their hatred - they covered "The Chicken Dance." And I don't mean that I was on Limewire and found a mislabeled cover version claiming to be by Chumbawamba; I mean, they actually covered it. I don't know why. Of course, since they're English, it wasn't "The Chicken Dance," it was "The Birdy Song." Either way, I want to see a group of aging anarchists flap their arms and shimmy! Speaking of Chumbawamba... I wasn't aware until recently that, after their stint as 'one hit wonders' in America (I still hate calling them that, it's so cruel), they came back a couple years later and tried to have another go with "She's Got All The Friends That Money Can Buy," another song in the "Tubthumping"/"Amnesia" mold. It did nothing. It was the equivalent of Tag Team's "U Go Girl" - same formula, unimpressed audience. (In the opinion of this particular Chumbawamba obsessive, its source album, "WYSIWYG," wasn't that great to begin with. It's cliche to say it, especially in the US, but "Tubthumper" did just happen to be one of their best albums.)

* I've heard it said that you have to be gay to appreciate Abba. If you think that, fuck you. You know why? "Take A Chance On Me." Great song. Besides, Anna-Frid (the brunette) was hot. I know, most people like Agnetha, the blonde; but Anna-Frid has that classic Seventies hot English girl look. Which is odd, because she's Swedish. Come to think of it, the brunette in Ace Of Base was pretty good looking too. What ever happened to Ace Of Base anyway? I mean, I couldn't stomach most of their songs, but still... they fell off the American map pretty fast. They did have one song that I really do like, though - "The Juvenile", originally written as "The Goldeneye." (Guess which movie it was written for! Didja didja?!) Buuut, it was on an album that came out long after "The Sign" did, so no one heard it.

* Are film companies stupid? I mean, seriously... they're supposedly deadset against movie piracy, obviously equating piracy with some guy sneaking a Digicam into a theater. However, they also distribute screener DVD's, with brand new films in crystal clear quality. It's unreasonable to think that not *one* of these screeners will fall into the hands of an everyman with access to either P2P or BitTorrent. They do. Sure, I mean, they've tried copy-protected screeners (I believe one of the recent Bonds came on a self-destructing disc... "Die Another Day", I believe?), but that seems to be very rare. Just a thought... I just don't understand how the entertainment industry works sometimes. Like, for example, Weird Al's "Straight Outta Lynwood." Hell was raised because his previous album "Poodle Hat" leaked a couple days in advance by some hooligans, but then "SOL" came out as a promo at LEAST a month before the commercial release. Most of us at weirdalforum at it long before it hit stores. (Don't get uppity at me, I bought the damn thing the day it came out, too.) My point of this whole long paragraph? STOP PROMO COPIES! YOU'LL PREVENT LEAKS! That applies to both the movie and music industries! If you don't put it out half a year in advance, no one can steal it!

* That's right, I never finished reviewing the Jay and Silent Bob series... I should, I'm long done with them. I dunno when I'll get around to it, but I'll say this - "Clerks II" really stands up well on its own, or just as a sequel to one film; but when you watch the Askewniverse series in order, it's such a huge anticlimactic ending. But I really enjoy it on its own. Kind of like "Smile" within the rest of the Beach Boys canon... on its own, it's a masterpiece. But in between the rest of their albums, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

* Why do people associate the Bee Gees with "Stayin' Alive" and ONLY "Stayin' Alive"? That always bugged the crap out of me. I mean, as a group and as solo artists, they've churned out fifty albums, and have composed over a thousand songs... and people only remember them for a song in a raunchy movie that wasn't even on any of their albums?! It also bugs the crap out of me that they're only remembered as "that disco group", when their disco period was short lived. (All of their truly 'disco' output falls between 1975 and 1979. Not a big chunk of a career that lasted from 1958 to what, 2001?)

* For "Doctor Who" fans... did you ever notice how all the best black and white stories are the ones that were burnt? I'm not being snide or anything, I'm serious - look at the missing Patrick Troughton stories alone. "The Macra Terror," "The Faceless Ones," "The Power Of The Daleks," and the repeatedly-mentioned "Fury From The Deep" are all missing. And all are absolutely awesome, if reconstructions tell us anything. (Which, given the accuracy of Loose Cannon's output, they should.) But look at the Troughton stories that still exist - "The Dominators," "The Ice Warriors" (okay, so it's kind of missing), "The Krotons"... weird, trippy garbage. "The Krotons" is like the Doctor Who story they wrote on acid. Even William Hartnell, who has more surviving episodes, is without his supposed best stories - "The Daleks' Master Plan" for instance. A twelve (or thirteen, depending on what you count) episode epic that was pure awesomeness. I mean, what other story ended with characters running through a forest, aging to death?! We might never see that scene in moving form. Thanks a lot, the BBC's Pamela Nash.

* Did anyone actually *own* a Sega CD? I know one person that actually did, but it seems to have been extremely unpopular. Shame... I mean, it did have "Sonic CD" for it... which, admittedly, I haven't played much of, but come on, it has the "Sonic Boom" song!

Okay, my laptop battery is running out... I should go. :-)