"Sgt. Pepper" - the little musical that should've

Last night I finally stopped trying to resist the urge to dig out my worn, ancient VHS of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." (I'd like to upgrade to DVD someday - I heard the picture quality is vastly superior to the VHS versions.) I've lost count of how many times I've seen this movie, but unlike the rest of human civilization, I actually enjoy it. A lot. I can't necessarily explain why but... it's just such a great movie! I mean, it has the Bee Gees! Steve Martin! Peter Frampton! Singing robots! Disco Beatles! How can you go wrong?!

Well...

* There's no dialogue. Well, very little, at least - and all of it comes from George Burns. His narration pops up when you don't need it, and is nowhere to be found when you expect it. (Did you also notice that he tends to repeat himself in the same sentence? He'll say something once, then say it over again, slightly reworded.)

* There's characters named Billy Shears, Dr. Maxwell Edison, Strawberry Fields, Mr. Kite, Mr. Mustard, Lucy (lead singer of The Diamonds), the Hendersons... but hey, "Across The Universe" did it and no one complained, did they?

* Some scenes seem like particularly poor rehearsal footage - "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" especially. I'm assuming they didn't redo it because Steve Martin was only available briefly, but come on... that whole scene's one blooper after another!

* Despite the music being helmed by the Beatles' own George Martin, the arrangements stray quite a bit from the originals. "She's Leaving Home" is sung by robots.

But the hell with all the usual gripes, why is it GOOD?

* The new arrangements actually aren't that bad... "She's Leaving Home" isn't even entirely awful. Hell, I love the 10-minute disco version of "She's So Heavy"; shame it wasn't on the soundtrack like that.

* It's funny! The Bee Gees were known for their sense of humor, and it shows. Just a shame they didn't find the public's reaction to this movie particular funny...

* Billy Preston does the best version of "Get Back", ever. (I don't even care about the usual "why does Sgt. Pepper become a black guy?" gripe - it's not supposed to be the actual person, it's supposed to be the weather vane!)

* Just when you think they can't pack in more random celebrities... AEROSMITH!

* The ending is brilliant - the "Sgt. Pepper" LP cover reenacted with then-current celebrities. And tons of them. (But not including, as popular belief has it, Messrs. McCartney and Harrison.)

* Craterface from "Grease" is in it! Yeah, I know that doesn't make the movie better, but I just noticed that yesterday and was totally surprised. (He's one of the dancers in "Maxwell's Silver Hammer".)

* Peter Frampton! In a movie! No, he's not the greatest actor in the world, but how many times do you see Peter Frampton in a movie? "Almost Famous" is his only other acting credit, to my knowledge.

* It's better than the movies the Beatles were actually in... I mean, come on. "Magical Mystery Tour" was terrible. What the hell was that about? They're on a bus and then they're drunk and then... there's a stripper? Then they're in tuxedos? Huh. Not for me.

* The opening of the movie is just bad-ass. It opens in World War I (complete with period-friendly Paramount logo), and shows the progression of Sgt. Pepper's Band over several decades, with an appropriate rearrangement of the song to match. Then, when we get up to date, the new Sgt. Pepper's Band rocks the house!

* Steve Martin is in it being his regular goofy self. I know that's not so special nowadays, but back then, seeing Steve in a movie was rare. (Y'know, before he was making movies whose main joke was the word "hamburger.")

* It completely sums up rock music at that time. Frampton, the Bee Gees, funk, disco, Aerosmith, Earth Wind and Fire, Alice Cooper... all in one awkward bundle! Just a shame that... you know, the soundtrack album ended up being dumped in a landfill. *sigh*

Seriously, though, give "Sgt. Pepper" a chance. ESPECIALLY if you liked "Across The Universe." Like most things turn out to be (except the 1994 season of SNL), it's nowhere near as bad as legend would have it.