Lorne Michaels' 20 greatest mistakes (part 2)

ADDENDUM - I realized since the first post that Lorne did NOT have anything to do with "It's Pat: The Movie," so our new reason #10 can be "Putting his name on 'Mr. Mike's Mondo Video.'"  Either that, or the embarrassing 1976 Beach Boys special.

The second half of why I believe that Lorne Michaels is not the "comedy genius" he is often said to be.  Let us begin....

11) Relying on the same characters week after week after week when the show is struggling.  Alright, I do understand that this can be a case of 'give the people what they want' in order to keep viewers from running away, but in some cases, the overused characters weren't exactly popular.  Take season 21; the show was struggling back to life after 1994-95, with a new cast.  When the Cheerleaders took off, it was somewhat understandable to see them again and again that season, because the audience was responding in a big way to something, and they hadn't for quite a while.  But also that season, we had Mark McKinney and David Koechner in nearly every episode as the Fops, Lucien and Fagen, sometimes twice in the same episode.  Ask anyone who raves about the Cheerleaders or Mary Katherine Gallagher if they found Lucien and Fagen funny.  The studio audience didn't.

12) The belief that any one-joke sketch that works in small amounts can be stretched to a feature length film.  Saturday Night Live movies are VERY hit or miss, with very few genuine successes, Wayne's World being an obvious choice here.  But when a recurring character has been done to death on the show, why believe that an audience would want to see a further 90 minutes of the same repeated schtick?  Superstar, The Ladies Man, A Night At The Roxbury, MacGruber, etcetera.  We almost got a full-length adaptation of the one-off 'Key Party' sketch that most viewers probably can't remember.  The only one we can't blame him for, though, was It's Pat - allegedly Lorne gave that the go-ahead despite predicting its failure.

13) Keeping people looooooong past their prime, even when the audience is tired of them.  This is a fairly new occurrence; even former cast members have commented that the show isn't quite the revolving door it used to be.  But that's the problem - why does everyone have to go for a Darrell Hammond-esque tenure?  What reason is there to keep Fred Armisen on for more than a decade, when he's on another sketch comedy show anyway?  He's a particularly good example, because his breakthrough character (Ferecito) hasn't even appeared for several years.  We need more change.

14) Letting absolute duds of sketches go through writing, re-writing, table reads, set building, and finally a dress rehearsal where they more than likely died with the audience.  I'll resist the temptation to pick an easy sketch from one of the infamously bad seasons, and use the example of "Wet 'Em Down" from Kelsey Grammer's 1998 show.  This is a one-joke sketch involving the bikini-clad female members of the cast as Baywatch girls, repeatedly being hosed down at the request of their director.  One joke, over and over again.  The audience doesn't respond at all.  Are we to believe that this made the final roster for that week's show, above a bunch of other sketches that were worse?  That it was deemed so funny that they willingly built multiple sets, even bringing in cameo appearances from known actors?  That it killed in dress rehearsal and was assumed to do so during the live show?  Seems like a major lack of judgment.

15) Over-reliance on nostalgia.  Sure, it was fun to see Chevy Chase come back and host a couple years after he left the show.  The little nod to 'Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger' in a 1985-86 sketch was even welcome.  But nostalgia factor has brought back the Wild and Crazy Guys on two occasions, both more than two decades (the more recent being nearly four) since their last regular appearance.  Younger viewers are likely completely in the dark when Dan Aykroyd shows up in an episode and it's supposedly a big deal.  No one cares that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is dead, forty years after the fact.  There's just no reason to rely on nostalgia so heavily when less and less people actually remember the bits that are referenced.

16) Ignorance of the non-Lorne years, even though Dick Ebersol (temporarily) saved the show.  One of Lorne's cohorts states in the "Live From New York" book that Lorne never reran Ebersol episodes, which wasn't true; a good many of them ran in the 3 AM 'Classic SNL' timeslot.  But how many times have you seen a surprise cameo by, say, Tim Kazurinsky?  (Somewhat subverted, as Martin Short has cameo'ed - but Martin has also hosted numerous times because of movies, and his time on SNL was short.)  The biggest flub on this topic is that after the 10th season with a killer cast (Short, Guest, Rich Hall, Dreyfus, etc), Lorne started the show from scratch, despite the fact that it finally grew back into an American institution, and nearly killed it.  Just to do things 'his way' and keep separate from Dick's work, despite its success.  Moving past Ebersol... the show's treatment of the Doumanian season is one asshole move after another.  Nothing was more insulting than the opening credits of the 25th anniversary special, where year-by-year cast photos were seen - including a skip from 1979 to 1981.  Considering much of the 1980 cast was in attendance that night, this was a slap in the face; made worse by the 'best of the early Eighties' montage skipping them entirely.  (Note - the most recent DVD of the special actually has a Charles Rocket clip in the Weekend Update montage; this was only tacked on for the DVD version and didn't appear in the aired special.)

17) Never being the least conscious of when the audience stops responding to recurring characters.  There is a very obvious concept known as "diminishing returns" - and what better example than The Californians?  Same jokes every time, less and less laughter.  More recent installments have died down to a light chuckle from the audience.  But, this is certainly nothing new; you can pretty much pinpoint when the audience stopped finding Matt Foley or any of Kristen Wiig's characters funny.

18) Letting sketches be performed twice in their entirety, especially if it's just to please a cast member.  There was no reason for Total Bastard Airlines (you know - "buh bye") to appear in two different shows, in two different seasons.  Well, okay, in Lorne's mind there was a reason - 'David Spade wants to do it again.'  At that point, Spade had more pull than lesser cast members because he was making money; not necessarily because the audience responded to him.  And surely enough, the repeat of "Total Bastard Airlines," with only slight changes, died COMPLETELY.  The audience had seen the sketch before, and the charm had worn off.  A waste of money, crew strength and air time.

19) Keeping Weekend Update anchors whose jokes only get tepid reactions a majority of the time.  Some of you are probably thinking "Like Seth Meyers."  No, I was mostly thinking Colin Quinn, who constantly fumbled over material, spoiling the phrasing and timing of jokes, and then became either verbally frustrated or pathetic when the audience made no sound.  After the first year with Colin, it should've been obvious that he needed to vacate the desk.  Instead, the show had *three solid years* of terrible, terrible Weekend Updates, being saved in 2000 when the winning Fey/Fallon combination took over. 

20) Choosing flavor of the month hosts that no one recognizes.  Remember Peter Saarsgard?  When the only jokes you can wring out of a host are "no one knows who I am" and "my name sounds like 'SARS guard'", something is wrong.  Or someone more recent - Jeremy Renner, who appeared on the show because 'the Internet wanted him to', and proved to be an awful host who even stated in his monologue (likely unscripted) that he didn't know what he was doing there.  And people gave Doumanian hell for booking Malcolm McDowell...

Well, I've probably cemented my spot as someone who will never, ever host Saturday Night Live in his lifetime; but these are simply opinions I've come to after the past couple decades of watching the show.  Overall, yes, I give Lorne credit for launching the most successful comedy series in history; and once in a while he makes a real find when choosing cast members.  But "comedy genius"?  Not in the least.

Lorne Michaels' 20 greatest mistakes (part 1)

I like SNL.  Seriously.... I've studied that show nearly on a daily basis since grade school, and have watched fairly consistently since the 1997-98 season.  And yes, obviously, Lorne Michaels deserves a lot of credit for keeping the show afloat and hiring genuine talent - such as the women in the current cast who were clearly all fantastic finds.

But I hear the phrase "genius" attached to Lorne far too many times.  For all the success he's had, let's look at things that bore Lorne's name that were far... FAR... from genius.

#1) The 1979-80 season as a whole.  The cast photo inside the DVD case is telling - faces of painfully tired individuals who didn't give a damn.  The novelty of the 'first five years' burned itself out during season 4.  When Belushi and Aykroyd left, the idea of dragging the show out that one last season seemed reasonable enough when five of the core cast members were still involved, but the remaining cast members were in turmoil and in no mood to be funny.  Garrett was going through extreme drug addiction and mental issues, Laraine was desperately ill, Gilda and Bill's relationship had fallen apart.  Sure, season 5 had its moments ("Senor Lopez", "Stretch Marks") but when the cast was padded with random writers and Dan Aykroyd's brother?  The flame of Seventies SNL had gone out, hard.

#2) The 1985-86 season as a whole, the second time (the first being Doumanian's year) that NBC wanted to cancel the show.  After Dick Ebersol and most importantly Eddie Murphy recaptured the show's popularity, SNL reached another peak with its all-star tenth season.  Then.... Dick left the show to spend time with his family, and Lorne was brought back to much fanfare.  However, the all-star cast was dismissed, and Lorne attempted to put together a 'hip, young' cast featuring youthful movie stars such as Anthony Michael Hall, Joan Cusack and, considerably older than the rest, Randy Quaid.  A lot of talent was involved.  Unfortunately, none of this talent was used, as the entire season consisted of extremely dull sketches, driven-into-the-ground recurring characters and dead audience reactions - which were replaced with canned laughter in reruns.  This season was completely written off, on the show even, as a nightmare and a mistake.

#3) The 1994-95 season as a whole, the third time that NBC wanted to cancel the show.  God, is it bad.  The last half of the 1993-94 season showed that the 'bad boys' cast and its writers were getting tired and worn out, and the audience's non-reaction showed that the damage had been done.  Stretch that out for an entire final year with that group, on top of which Chris Elliott (who was already well known) was hired and wasted.  Oh, and Sandler and Spade gave up any attempts at effort, and Farley screamed a lot.  And there was a lot of fake blood, vomit spray, gay jokes, and Jeanine Garofalo who hated her life.  And two more problems that we'll get to in a bit.

#4) Pushing Kristen Wiig to the forefront and considering her the absolute greatest female comedy talent in the history of the universe.  Obviously, this topic has been beaten to death - especially after 'that cast photo' from a few seasons back where Kristen was purposely seated *in front of* her cast mates.  A good example of putting strong belief in something the audience could not have been more opposed to.

#5) Firing David Koechner after only one season.  Yes, David is a 'love him or hate him' kind of guy, and what you see is what you get in most cases - if you've seen him in "Anchorman", you know exactly what persona he's going to carry in other roles.  But imagine what heights he could've reached given the chance to pair up with Will Ferrell on the air, for instance.

#6) Not hiring Steve Carell.  No, I'm not accepting "he was in The Ambiguously Gay Duo" as compensation.  Lorne *has* to look at Steve now and realize he passed on a genuine comedic talent, who, a decade after his failed SNL audition, rode to A-list stardom for said comedic talent.  In 1995, we could've had Carell, Koechner AND Ferrell in the same cast.  Think about that.  (Worth pointing out that a sketch that season, most likely written by Adam McKay - "Wake Up and Smile" - later saw ideas recycled for "Anchorman.")

#7) When Phil Hartman left, Lorne intentionally tried to replace him with another middle-aged actor - Michael McKean.  Seriously, when someone is easily one of your most successful and beloved cast members in the history of the show, you cannot just flat out TRY and replace him, and expect people to take to "the new Phil Hartman."  Michael McKean, whose career had already hit such peaks as Laverne and Shirley and Spinal Tap, was thrown into a dying show mid-season to fit in with a struggling cast and try to adapt immediately to sketch comedy, which he was unaccustomed to.  The result is painful... save for his first sketch featuring his Howard Stern impression (the second and last attempt bombed), Michael got some of the worst material in seasons 19 and 20, and it's agonizing to watch such an accomplished actor wade his way through utter shit.  When he even gets air time, that is.

#8) Morwenna Banks.  Long story short, Morwenna Banks was a popular English comedienne from a sketch comedy show called "Absolutely", where she was best known for her Little Girl character.  With absolutely no reason except grasping at straws when the show was quite possibly nearing cancellation, Lorne hired Morwenna four episodes before the end of the 1994-95 season and flew her to the US to become 'the next Tracey Ullman.'  Only problem - her signature character TANKED in its lone SNL appearance.  Well.... what then?  She had bit parts in sketches, and after those four episodes, was never seen on the show again.  An absolutely stupid decision from the get-go, something that her "Absolutely" cast mates also felt at the time.

#9) Norm Macdonald's firing.  I've heard it said on numerous occasions that Norm, particularly as the host of Update, was the only funny part of a bad time in the show's history (largely encompassing the 1994-95 season).  And yes, he is another "love him or hate him" kind of comic.  But for the most part, the audience enjoyed him.  That came to an abrupt end mid-season when NBC bigwig Don Ohlmeyer decided "Norm is no longer funny" and Lorne agreed.  Way to stand up for a team player.  Oh, and the biggest insult?  Replacing Norm on Update with Colin Quinn.  Some replacement.  Though given the history of the show, it's surprising that Norm's on-air "fuck" didn't get him fired despite his successes.

#10) "It's Pat: The Movie."  Nuff said.

That's all for part 1 - part 2 whenever I get a chance!

Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary - an educated guess

Though nothing has been said about it yet, something will inevitably happen in October or November of this year: Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary Special, following the 15th in 1989 and the 25th in 1999. Much has changed since the last special - Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri are no longer representatives of "current SNL", Jimmy Fallon went from featured player to cast member to alumni to talk show host, another former cast member passed away, the show began airing in HD, and the TV Funhouse segments disappeared in favor of the SNL Digital Shorts.

Since we still have a few months, I thought I would take this opportunity to make educated predictions about what exactly we'll be seeing in a 35th Anniversary Special...

* The show will be at LEAST three hours long, with a number of excessive commercial breaks
* Monologue by Tom Hanks again (he's done the previous two)
* Monologue and/or performance by Justin Timberlake, who either references "Dick In A Box" or sings a variation of "bring it on in to Omeletteville"
* SNL Digital Shorts montage, including (edited for prime time) "BLEEP In A Box", "Lazy Sunday", "MacGruber", and "BLEEP In My Pants"
* A handful of past hosts and musical guests introducing montages and kissing Lorne's ass for cheap applause, including Steve Martin, whose contributions to SNL are no longer considered relevant, having turned himself into nothing more than "that 'hamburger' guy"
* 70's montage including Mighty Mouse, The Wolverines, Mr. Bill, Cheeseburger, Land Shark, Judy Miller throwing herself into a door, Samurai Deli, and the same clip of Chevy calling Richard Pryor the n-word that's been in both previous specials and every single 'Best of the Classic Years' video
* Rehashed tributes to Gilda Radner and John Belushi
* Early 80's montage that skips the struggling seasons and focuses entirely on 1982-1985, with most clips featuring either Eddie Murphy or the 1984-85 cast (expect to see Synchronized Swimming, Christopher Guest saying "chocolate babies", Mr. Robinson saying "WHO IS IT?!", Buckwheat singing "Fee Tines A Mady", Fernando saying "you look marvelous", Ed Grimley excited over meeting Pat Sajak, possibly a brief clip of "I'm Gumby, dammit", and Tim Kazurinsky being hugged by a chimp)
* A shot of the audience in which Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius and Gilbert Gottfried are visible, just happy to be there and not at all surprised that none of their material has been shown
* Late 80's montage including the Master Thespian saying "acting", Lovitz telling Hartman he stinks, Dana singing about chopping broccoli, and no footage whatsoever of 1985-86
* Early 90's montage including Canteen Boy being groped by Alec Baldwin, Wayne and Garth meeting Madonna, some Operaman clips, Farley eating French fries and shouting at Spade
* Rehashed tributes to Phil Hartman and Chris Farley
* Late 90's montage including Mango, Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Cheerleaders, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, and, you guessed it, Schwetty Balls
* 2000's montage centering entirely around Kristen Wiig, except for a clip of The Barry Gibb Talk Show
* A title card that briefly mentions Charles Rocket's death, and no mention at all of the deaths of Danitra Vance and Michael O'Donoghue
* Sappy slow-motion tribute to the now-retired Don Pardo

That just about covers it. See you in October, suckers! :-P