The Bee Gees albums.... how many?? (part 1)

Next year, the Bee Gees will be celebrating their 50th anniversary. (Some of you are going "Holy shit, Stayin' Alive came out 50 years ago?") Since their foundation in 1960 (which doesn't seem right, as I believe they started recording demos in 1958 - but this isn't my place to judge), they've recorded.... well, a lot of albums, both as a group and as solo artists.

But it's time to look back and think... just how many albums did these three talented brothers churn out, anyway? The Bee Gees' discography is complicated, because no one has a set opinion on what exactly constitutes their catalog. Does Andy's music count? Does "Saturday Night Fever" count, even though it's not strictly a Bee Gees album? What about the unreleased albums? The Australian albums? The unauthorized third Australian album? But wait, weren't there FOUR Australian albums?

Alright, let's sort this out. Albums with numbers are certainly counted; albums with one question should be counted, but most likely aren't officially counted by the Bee Gees; albums with two question marks are more confusing.

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THE BEE GEES AS A GROUP

[1] THE BEE GEES SING AND PLAY 14 BARRY GIBB SONGS (1965 - Australia only)
The first album, plain and simple, even though it was technically comprised mainly of previously released singles.

[2] SPICKS AND SPECKS (1966 - Australia only)
The second album. Also known as "Monday's Rain."

[??] (THIRD AUSTRALIAN ALBUM?) (1966)
An entire album exists of outtakes from around the time of the "Spicks and Specks" album sessions. Much of this material (save two tracks, which haven't even been bootlegged) appeared on the 'Inception/Nostalgia' collection. However, given the fact that some of these tracks are merely sloppy in-studio piss takes of other artists' songs, it's unlikely that this was intended for release, despite rumors otherwise. Why this even exists as a record is unknown.

[3] BEE GEES' FIRST (1967)
Whoa, wait... it certainly isn't! Well, it was the Bee Gees' first international album, and since they were unknown outside of Australia at this point, no one else would have been aware in the slightest that they had two local albums there. Calling this "Bee Gees' Third" would've been silly.

[?] TURN AROUND, LOOK AT US (1967 - Australia only)
This one's tough, as the Bee Gees seem to ignore it completely, especially since they didn't authorize it to begin with. After the boys had moved back to England, their Australian label released *this* as their third album, despite it containing absolutely no new material - just more as-yet-uncompiled singles and some repeats from "Sing and Play". The status of this rare LP depends on who you ask, really.

[4] HORIZONTAL (1968)
The Bee Gees' second international album.

[5] IDEA (1968)
The Bee Gees' third international album.

[6] ODESSA (1969)
The Bee Gees' fourth international album, and last with all three brothers for a little while. (Note that this was later split into two separate LP's - "Sound Of Love" and "Marley Purt Drive".)

[?] INCEPTION / NOSTALGIA (1970)
A very bizarre release. This 2-LP set of unique material (all Australian outtakes, some of which originally appeared on the mysterious unreleased 1966 LP) was released on Polydor without the consent of the group... but only in Germany and France. The brothers didn't even know about it until they found it in a Swiss record store after the fact. Even still, it is entirely fresh material... but then, the fact that they didn't consent to it probably bumps it from their catalog.

[7] CUCUMBER CASTLE (1970)
Credited as "The Bee Gees", though it isn't really... Robin Gibb was off on his own at this point, leaving Barry and Maurice to create both this album and an accompanying TV movie featuring its music.

[8] 2 YEARS ON (1970)
The group's 'reunion album', featuring the return of Robin.

[??] MELODY (1971)
A soundtrack album, which features one new Bee Gees track (a remake of "In The Morning" from Inception/Nostalgia), a couple older tracks, and some orchestral covers of Bee Gees tunes. Half of the album is completely unrelated to the group. Not quite the caliber of their contributions to "Saturday Night Fever", because their actual work on this soundtrack is limited to one track. If it wasn't for the Bee Gees' official biography "Tales Of The Brothers Gibb" claiming that people commonly mistake this obscure soundtrack for a Bee Gees' album, it wouldn't even be worth a mention.

[9] TRAFALGAR (1971)
[10] TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN (1972)
[11] LIFE IN A TIN CAN (1973)
Standard releases, nothing of note to mention.

[?] A KICK IN THE HEAD IS WORTH EIGHT IN THE PANTS (1973)
And then we hit this one. This LP, which was actually completed and sequenced into a reasonable track order, was recorded as the follow-up to the dull "Life In A Tin Can", but cancelled when group manager Robert Stigwood decided it was 'not worthy of them.' (Being far superior to "Tin Can" in many fans' eyes, Stigwood may have made a mistake.) It may be safe to say that the group doesn't consider a scrapped album, especially one that they have openly dismissed as poor material (....Christ, guys! It has "Castles In The Air", a wonderful song!!), as part of their catalog. The only thing that may change this is if Rhino finally continues their reissue series, and puts this album out once and for all. Time will tell.

[12] MR. NATURAL (1974)
[13] MAIN COURSE (1975)
[14] CHILDREN OF THE WORLD (1976)
More standard studio albums, nothing of note.

[?] HERE AT LAST... LIVE (1977)
This one's tricky. While it is technically part of their standard stream of releases, the group apparently doesn't consider it one of their primary releases, due to it being a live album. We'll leave this one up in the air.

[?] SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER (1977)
Okay... let's look at the facts here. a) The four songs that start this album were intended for the Bee Gees' next studio album, and not a movie. b) More of that studio album was recorded, and not used here. c) Much of the material on this soundtrack is not related to the Bee Gees. d) In spite of this, the Bee Gees are on the front cover, and were given top billing for the film's score. In the grand scheme of things, the Bee Gees are probably given an unfair amount of credit for what is just a various artists soundtrack. Hell, two of their songs are just pulled from older albums. But, the cold hard fact is, to the group's chagrin, this is the album most associated with them. I honestly don't know.

[?] SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)
Yes, the Bee Gees have disowned both this album and the film, refusing to include Robin's hit version of "Oh! Darling" on any of their authorized compilations. However, the group's contribution to this soundtrack is MUCH larger than that of "Saturday Night Fever," with at least one of the brothers appearing on half (or more) of the songs in the two LP set. It is, like SNF, technically a various artists album however, so it's silly to give the Bee Gees full credit, especially when they really, really don't want credit for this.

[15] SPIRITS HAVING FLOWN (1979)
[16] LIVING EYES (1981)
Nothing confusing here, either - just two more studio albums.

[?] STAYING ALIVE (1983)
The soundtrack to the "Saturday Night Fever" sequel. Like its predecessor, the Bee Gees are often given top billing for this soundtrack, despite half of it being by other artists. (This one's only a single LP, so the Bee Gees' five new songs, plus a drastically edited version of "Stayin' Alive", comprise a full half.) It's actually not even certain that these is true Bee Gees music, as Barry is the only member detectable - at this point, Robin and Maurice were actually off working on their own projects, and may not be on these tracks at all. Who knows? Toss this one in the "various artists" pile with SNF, Melody and Pepper.

Alright, so we're to the Bee Gees' Eighties split... and I need to do homework! :-P More to come...

Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary - an educated guess

Though nothing has been said about it yet, something will inevitably happen in October or November of this year: Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary Special, following the 15th in 1989 and the 25th in 1999. Much has changed since the last special - Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri are no longer representatives of "current SNL", Jimmy Fallon went from featured player to cast member to alumni to talk show host, another former cast member passed away, the show began airing in HD, and the TV Funhouse segments disappeared in favor of the SNL Digital Shorts.

Since we still have a few months, I thought I would take this opportunity to make educated predictions about what exactly we'll be seeing in a 35th Anniversary Special...

* The show will be at LEAST three hours long, with a number of excessive commercial breaks
* Monologue by Tom Hanks again (he's done the previous two)
* Monologue and/or performance by Justin Timberlake, who either references "Dick In A Box" or sings a variation of "bring it on in to Omeletteville"
* SNL Digital Shorts montage, including (edited for prime time) "BLEEP In A Box", "Lazy Sunday", "MacGruber", and "BLEEP In My Pants"
* A handful of past hosts and musical guests introducing montages and kissing Lorne's ass for cheap applause, including Steve Martin, whose contributions to SNL are no longer considered relevant, having turned himself into nothing more than "that 'hamburger' guy"
* 70's montage including Mighty Mouse, The Wolverines, Mr. Bill, Cheeseburger, Land Shark, Judy Miller throwing herself into a door, Samurai Deli, and the same clip of Chevy calling Richard Pryor the n-word that's been in both previous specials and every single 'Best of the Classic Years' video
* Rehashed tributes to Gilda Radner and John Belushi
* Early 80's montage that skips the struggling seasons and focuses entirely on 1982-1985, with most clips featuring either Eddie Murphy or the 1984-85 cast (expect to see Synchronized Swimming, Christopher Guest saying "chocolate babies", Mr. Robinson saying "WHO IS IT?!", Buckwheat singing "Fee Tines A Mady", Fernando saying "you look marvelous", Ed Grimley excited over meeting Pat Sajak, possibly a brief clip of "I'm Gumby, dammit", and Tim Kazurinsky being hugged by a chimp)
* A shot of the audience in which Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius and Gilbert Gottfried are visible, just happy to be there and not at all surprised that none of their material has been shown
* Late 80's montage including the Master Thespian saying "acting", Lovitz telling Hartman he stinks, Dana singing about chopping broccoli, and no footage whatsoever of 1985-86
* Early 90's montage including Canteen Boy being groped by Alec Baldwin, Wayne and Garth meeting Madonna, some Operaman clips, Farley eating French fries and shouting at Spade
* Rehashed tributes to Phil Hartman and Chris Farley
* Late 90's montage including Mango, Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Cheerleaders, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, and, you guessed it, Schwetty Balls
* 2000's montage centering entirely around Kristen Wiig, except for a clip of The Barry Gibb Talk Show
* A title card that briefly mentions Charles Rocket's death, and no mention at all of the deaths of Danitra Vance and Michael O'Donoghue
* Sappy slow-motion tribute to the now-retired Don Pardo

That just about covers it. See you in October, suckers! :-P