I've tossed this around in my head for a while, and I've started putting serious consideration into it...
A while back, as a favor to a friend online who used to run the primary fan-site for the actress Julianna Mauriello (who, until recently, was underage), I made an effort to have any potentially slanderous material about her removed from the Internet. Despite being a fairly inexperienced teenage actress who still attended a regular New York high school and who wasn't quite at "celebrity" status, the Internet decided to react to her overall harmless TV presence in horrific ways, not only sharing her personal information on suspicious websites but creating a number of obscene materials that would surely have destroyed her career and reputation in the wrong hands. My friend got much of this removed, but I was inspired to take action as well, forcing much of the remainder offline by repeatedly contacting (and sometimes reporting) the host sites.
However, I came to realize while doing this that Julianna's treatment online is nothing out of the ordinary, as other young actresses such as Dakota Fanning seem to have garnered the same sort of unsavory "fanbase". Therefore, I think action should be taken, before one of these actresses is confronted face to face by an Internet creep and ends up in harm's way. I feared for quite a while that this would happen to Julianna (especially after she allegedly received disturbing personal threats from her online "fans"), but thankfully, this doesn't seem to have ever occurred.
I'm putting serious consideration into starting a website for this - a sort of coalition to raise awareness of how these actresses are treated, and to encourage the removal of any material or users from the Internet that could potentially destroy their career or terrorize their personal lives. Dealing with fame at a young age is hard enough... realizing that Internet weirdos are watching your every move and going out of their way to reshape your image as that of a mere physical object makes that a hell of a lot more difficult.
Though they may be more well known than a lot of us, they should have just as much right to live normal lives as anyone else their age. We just need to make sure that right is given to them.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Where are the FLACs?
That's something you may be wondering... well, here's a short but hopefully satisfactory answer.
I'm hard at work on three Beatles projects:
* Hot As Sun, the 40th Anniversary Edition (which is nearly in the can, except for the artwork, which I'm doing last)
* an upgrade of From Chaos to Evolution, and its artwork
* Scam You Hard, a compilation of Beatles outfakes
Uploading a FLAC album takes about 3.5 hours or more, during which the computer is damn near unusable. So be patient, I'll get to them as soon as I can. :-)
I'm hard at work on three Beatles projects:
* Hot As Sun, the 40th Anniversary Edition (which is nearly in the can, except for the artwork, which I'm doing last)
* an upgrade of From Chaos to Evolution, and its artwork
* Scam You Hard, a compilation of Beatles outfakes
Uploading a FLAC album takes about 3.5 hours or more, during which the computer is damn near unusable. So be patient, I'll get to them as soon as I can. :-)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Beatles by Request #1 - Hot As Sun (LINKS UP!)
Okay, I'll bite....
Part 1: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7B56XHTV
Part 2: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WTEQ09RV
Photos (courtesy of BeatleBren from Bootleg Zone):
The whole package laid out
Tray image, showing a faked EMI tape box
The liner notes, admitting the fakery in the content
Since it was asked for, here is the 'Special Bogus Edition' of the Beatles' alleged lost 1969 album, "Hot As Sun" - which seems to never have existed outside of a phony article printed in a 1970 issue of Rolling Stone. Purported to be a very, very embryonic "Abbey Road", Rolling Stone detailed twelve tantalyzing tracks, some of which were already heard by that point, but some of which may have never existed to begin with. In 2005, a Japanese online CD store called JunkHeadz compiled their own 'Special Bogus Edition' of this album, attempting to recreate it using Rolling Stone's tracklist, as well as a number of other songs they felt could have been "rejected" from the album. The result, dodgy as it is, is heard here.
Not a good album by any means, I'm posting it here for curiosity's sake. I'm actually working on my own reconstruction, basing it on JunkHeadz's tracklist, but including a far superior set of tracks, quite different from what is heard on this disc. But that is not completed yet. (Don't worry, I'll post it here when it's done.) For now, however...
Here's the tracks on the JunkHeadz version, so you're warned in advance...
(The original Rolling Stone tracklist)
01) MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER - The outtake from Anthology 3. On the rip of the HAS disc that was sent to me, the first drum beat was cropped off. I repaired that.
02) DON'T LET ME DOWN - Multiple versions from the Get Back sessions.
03) HOT AS SUN - The only circulating Beatles version of this early McCartney composition. This is a sloppy take from the Get Back sessions, with Paul mumbling some sort of lyric.
04) JUNK - A very, very brief version from the Get Back sessions, with John and Paul singing the lyrics in mock-French. (Why wouldn't JunkHeadz just use the damn demo version?!)
05) POLYTHENE PAM - The lone attempt from the Get Back sessions. Very sloppy, but intriguing during the moments when John is able to remember the song.
06) OCTOPUS'S GARDEN - Anthology 3. Again, I repaired the cropped intro.
07) I SHOULD LIKE TO LIVE UP A TREE - No Beatles song ever existed... this was a poor guess at the title of what was actually "Octopus's Garden", as stated in a music mag before the release of Abbey Road. For this album, however, JunkHeadz used an appropriate GB-era improv resembling "One After 909." I upgraded this track using Purple Chick's "A/B Road", as the HAS copy was very bad quality.
08) ZERO IS JUST ANOTHER EVEN NUMBER - The liner notes of HAS tell the listener to "pretend" that this song exists, as JunkHeadz obviously wasn't willing to even try faking it. A useless track. (I should point out that MY version of the album does have an actual "Zero..." song, but I refuse to discuss what exactly it is at the moment. :-P)
09) WHAT'S THE NEW MARY JANE - As if this song couldn't get any worse, here's an Abbey Road-era version, with John and Yoko (and either Harrison or Mal Evans) adding an extra layer of screams and chaos. Just painful. As I understand it, this piece o' shit almost appeared in AR in place of "She's So Heavy".
10) DIRTY OLD MAN - Rolling Stone's title for what was actually "Mean Mr. Mustard." Heard here is one of the Get Back-era attempts, followed by, for some reason, the officially released version.
11) PROUD AS YOU ARE - Another phony title... to fill the gap, JunkHeadz offers us the entirety of Paul's "Song Of Love"/"As Clear As A Bell" improvs from the Get Back sessions.
12) WATCHING RAINBOWS - Oh my God, an actual unreleased Beatles song! No fakery!
(The "Hot As Sun Rejects")
13) PORTRAIT OF MY LOVE - What the hell?? Allegedly, the Beatles recorded this song in mid-1969... but since that doesn't seem to exist, here's Matt Monro's original.
14) MY KIND OF GIRL - Another Matt Monro track that the Beatles probably never covered. Tacked on the end are snippets of Paul's "Oo You" - JunkHeadz was apparently trying to show the similarities in its lyrics with Monro's song. They had a point, oddly enough.
15) SUICIDE - No idea what this is doing here, as I don't think the Beatles ever considered recording this. This Paul composition is heard here in two forms - a brief version from the Get Back sessions, then a hissy but wonderful mid-Seventies demo with Paul on piano. A version of this (as yet uncirculated) was recorded for "McCartney", but unused, save for a brief snippet at the end of (surely enough) 'Hot As Sun'/'Glasses'. Great song, but with disturbingly grim lyrics about an abusive relationship. This was written with Sinatra in mind... Frank refused to sing it.
16) YOU KNOW MY NAME - Not the typical single version, or even an extended version, but a short rendition from the Get Back sessions, with John on electric piano.
17) BECAUSE - Just a brief version played by John on acoustic guitar. Strangely, JunkHeadz stuck his "Happiness Is A Warm Gun"-esque musical doodle from the Bed-In onto this track as well.
18) ACROSS THE UNIVERSE - What IS this?? This seems to be some sort of acetate mix, resembling the 'wildlife version', with a heavy delay on John's vocals. JunkHeadz felt it necessary for some reason to fade this out midway through...
19) LULLABY FOR A LAZY DAY - This is a song by Grapefruit, a band that John discovered, and not a Beatles track. (Yoko mistakenly applied for its copyright, however.) We hear a poor quality demo first, followed by what very much seems to be the MP3 of this track posted on the long dead 'Cheatles' website, sped up to make the vocalist sound like John.
20) HAVE YOU HEARD THE WORD? - Again, not the Beatles, and another mistaken Yoko copyright. This is by 'The Fut', a group consisting of Maurice Gibb, Steve Kipner, Steve Groves, and Billy Lawrie. Most likely due to the disc's lack of space (too many multiple versions of tracks?), JunkHeadz just cut right to the last verse of this song. Their copy was horrendous quality; I mimicked their strange edit using the best known copy, commercially released on a Bee Gees rarities compilation.
21) MADMAN - Yes, this is a legitimate unreleased Beatles song, and not a bad one at that, from the Get Back sessions. (And hey, it's the only Beatles song with "shit" in the lyrics!) Whereas just one version would suffice, JunkHeadz again decided to present multiple takes on one track.
22) ONE AFTER 909 - Which they do here as well. Why is this even included??
23) OH! I HAD A DREAM - The disc ends on a loooong, rambling GB-era jam with Billy Preston (who is the source of the odd title). This repetitive instrumental noticeably contains bits and pieces of what would become "I Want You (She's So Heavy)".
The cover of the disc also noticed three tracks from the 'Hot As Sun era' that allegedly weren't available for inclusion - FOUR NIGHTS IN MOSCOW, SWINGING DAYS, and JUST DANCING AROUND. Someone didn't do their research... while the last two may not exist, 'Moscow' most certainly does. Probably correctly spelled "Four KNIGHTS...", this was a working title of Ringo's Beatles-biography-in-song, "Early 1970."
Part 1: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7B56XHTV
Part 2: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WTEQ09RV
Photos (courtesy of BeatleBren from Bootleg Zone):
The whole package laid out
Tray image, showing a faked EMI tape box
The liner notes, admitting the fakery in the content
Since it was asked for, here is the 'Special Bogus Edition' of the Beatles' alleged lost 1969 album, "Hot As Sun" - which seems to never have existed outside of a phony article printed in a 1970 issue of Rolling Stone. Purported to be a very, very embryonic "Abbey Road", Rolling Stone detailed twelve tantalyzing tracks, some of which were already heard by that point, but some of which may have never existed to begin with. In 2005, a Japanese online CD store called JunkHeadz compiled their own 'Special Bogus Edition' of this album, attempting to recreate it using Rolling Stone's tracklist, as well as a number of other songs they felt could have been "rejected" from the album. The result, dodgy as it is, is heard here.
Not a good album by any means, I'm posting it here for curiosity's sake. I'm actually working on my own reconstruction, basing it on JunkHeadz's tracklist, but including a far superior set of tracks, quite different from what is heard on this disc. But that is not completed yet. (Don't worry, I'll post it here when it's done.) For now, however...
Here's the tracks on the JunkHeadz version, so you're warned in advance...
(The original Rolling Stone tracklist)
01) MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER - The outtake from Anthology 3. On the rip of the HAS disc that was sent to me, the first drum beat was cropped off. I repaired that.
02) DON'T LET ME DOWN - Multiple versions from the Get Back sessions.
03) HOT AS SUN - The only circulating Beatles version of this early McCartney composition. This is a sloppy take from the Get Back sessions, with Paul mumbling some sort of lyric.
04) JUNK - A very, very brief version from the Get Back sessions, with John and Paul singing the lyrics in mock-French. (Why wouldn't JunkHeadz just use the damn demo version?!)
05) POLYTHENE PAM - The lone attempt from the Get Back sessions. Very sloppy, but intriguing during the moments when John is able to remember the song.
06) OCTOPUS'S GARDEN - Anthology 3. Again, I repaired the cropped intro.
07) I SHOULD LIKE TO LIVE UP A TREE - No Beatles song ever existed... this was a poor guess at the title of what was actually "Octopus's Garden", as stated in a music mag before the release of Abbey Road. For this album, however, JunkHeadz used an appropriate GB-era improv resembling "One After 909." I upgraded this track using Purple Chick's "A/B Road", as the HAS copy was very bad quality.
08) ZERO IS JUST ANOTHER EVEN NUMBER - The liner notes of HAS tell the listener to "pretend" that this song exists, as JunkHeadz obviously wasn't willing to even try faking it. A useless track. (I should point out that MY version of the album does have an actual "Zero..." song, but I refuse to discuss what exactly it is at the moment. :-P)
09) WHAT'S THE NEW MARY JANE - As if this song couldn't get any worse, here's an Abbey Road-era version, with John and Yoko (and either Harrison or Mal Evans) adding an extra layer of screams and chaos. Just painful. As I understand it, this piece o' shit almost appeared in AR in place of "She's So Heavy".
10) DIRTY OLD MAN - Rolling Stone's title for what was actually "Mean Mr. Mustard." Heard here is one of the Get Back-era attempts, followed by, for some reason, the officially released version.
11) PROUD AS YOU ARE - Another phony title... to fill the gap, JunkHeadz offers us the entirety of Paul's "Song Of Love"/"As Clear As A Bell" improvs from the Get Back sessions.
12) WATCHING RAINBOWS - Oh my God, an actual unreleased Beatles song! No fakery!
(The "Hot As Sun Rejects")
13) PORTRAIT OF MY LOVE - What the hell?? Allegedly, the Beatles recorded this song in mid-1969... but since that doesn't seem to exist, here's Matt Monro's original.
14) MY KIND OF GIRL - Another Matt Monro track that the Beatles probably never covered. Tacked on the end are snippets of Paul's "Oo You" - JunkHeadz was apparently trying to show the similarities in its lyrics with Monro's song. They had a point, oddly enough.
15) SUICIDE - No idea what this is doing here, as I don't think the Beatles ever considered recording this. This Paul composition is heard here in two forms - a brief version from the Get Back sessions, then a hissy but wonderful mid-Seventies demo with Paul on piano. A version of this (as yet uncirculated) was recorded for "McCartney", but unused, save for a brief snippet at the end of (surely enough) 'Hot As Sun'/'Glasses'. Great song, but with disturbingly grim lyrics about an abusive relationship. This was written with Sinatra in mind... Frank refused to sing it.
16) YOU KNOW MY NAME - Not the typical single version, or even an extended version, but a short rendition from the Get Back sessions, with John on electric piano.
17) BECAUSE - Just a brief version played by John on acoustic guitar. Strangely, JunkHeadz stuck his "Happiness Is A Warm Gun"-esque musical doodle from the Bed-In onto this track as well.
18) ACROSS THE UNIVERSE - What IS this?? This seems to be some sort of acetate mix, resembling the 'wildlife version', with a heavy delay on John's vocals. JunkHeadz felt it necessary for some reason to fade this out midway through...
19) LULLABY FOR A LAZY DAY - This is a song by Grapefruit, a band that John discovered, and not a Beatles track. (Yoko mistakenly applied for its copyright, however.) We hear a poor quality demo first, followed by what very much seems to be the MP3 of this track posted on the long dead 'Cheatles' website, sped up to make the vocalist sound like John.
20) HAVE YOU HEARD THE WORD? - Again, not the Beatles, and another mistaken Yoko copyright. This is by 'The Fut', a group consisting of Maurice Gibb, Steve Kipner, Steve Groves, and Billy Lawrie. Most likely due to the disc's lack of space (too many multiple versions of tracks?), JunkHeadz just cut right to the last verse of this song. Their copy was horrendous quality; I mimicked their strange edit using the best known copy, commercially released on a Bee Gees rarities compilation.
21) MADMAN - Yes, this is a legitimate unreleased Beatles song, and not a bad one at that, from the Get Back sessions. (And hey, it's the only Beatles song with "shit" in the lyrics!) Whereas just one version would suffice, JunkHeadz again decided to present multiple takes on one track.
22) ONE AFTER 909 - Which they do here as well. Why is this even included??
23) OH! I HAD A DREAM - The disc ends on a loooong, rambling GB-era jam with Billy Preston (who is the source of the odd title). This repetitive instrumental noticeably contains bits and pieces of what would become "I Want You (She's So Heavy)".
The cover of the disc also noticed three tracks from the 'Hot As Sun era' that allegedly weren't available for inclusion - FOUR NIGHTS IN MOSCOW, SWINGING DAYS, and JUST DANCING AROUND. Someone didn't do their research... while the last two may not exist, 'Moscow' most certainly does. Probably correctly spelled "Four KNIGHTS...", this was a working title of Ringo's Beatles-biography-in-song, "Early 1970."
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Any requests for Beatles FLACs?
Since we've still got a while since the 09-09-09 Beatles remasters, I've been collecting the highest quality versions possible of their main (UK based) catalogue. I have almost the complete collection, except for Dr. Ebbetts' version of the "Christmas Album", and I'll post any of the albums here in FLAC if someone has a request. Take your pick...
* Strong Before Our Birth (Purple Chick - 2 CD definitive Quarrymen/Cavern collection)
* The Beatles First (Polydor remastered stereo CD, with two mono bonus tracks)
* The Decca Audition (Dr. Ebbetts)
* Star Club (Purple Chick - 2 CD definitive set)
* Please Please Me (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* With The Beatles (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* First U.S. Concert (Dr. Ebbetts creation, stereo)
* A Hard Day's Night (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Live At The Hollywood Bowl (Dr Ebbetts stereo remake of unreleased 1964 album)
* Beatles For Sale (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Help! (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Live At The Hollywood Bowl... Again! (Dr Ebbetts creation, stereo)
* Rubber Soul (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Revolver (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Magical Mystery Tour (Dr. Ebbetts German HorZu Stereo - 2005 Upgrade)
* The Beatles (Dr. Ebbetts German White Vinyl Direct Metal Master - AMAZING!!)
* Yellow Submarine (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Last Licks Live: The Rooftop Concert (Dr. Ebbetts creation, mono)
* Get Back - version 1 (unreleased LP remastered by Dr. Ebbetts, stereo)
* Hot As Sun - 'Special Bogus Edition' (fabled unreleased LP reconstructed by Japanese bootleggers; I corrected some glitches and upgraded a couple tracks that were poor quality)
* Abbey Road (Dr. Ebbetts Japanese Pro-Use Stereo - the best Abbey Road released yet!)
* Get Back - version 2 (unreleased LP remastered by Dr. Ebbetts, stereo)
* Hey Jude (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo)
* Let It Be (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
COMING SOON (hopefully)
* The Beatles' Christmas Album (Dr. Ebbetts US Mono) - if anyone can supply this in FLACs, I would be grateful! I can't find it anywhere...
* Hot As Sun (an alternate and very different reconstruction of the fabled unreleased LP, originally released by the same Japanese bootleggers behind the 'Special Bogus Edition'; however, since theirs was poor quality, I'm upgrading the entire thing using tracks from Purple Chick's Deluxe Editions!)
Lemme know...
* Strong Before Our Birth (Purple Chick - 2 CD definitive Quarrymen/Cavern collection)
* The Beatles First (Polydor remastered stereo CD, with two mono bonus tracks)
* The Decca Audition (Dr. Ebbetts)
* Star Club (Purple Chick - 2 CD definitive set)
* Please Please Me (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* With The Beatles (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* First U.S. Concert (Dr. Ebbetts creation, stereo)
* A Hard Day's Night (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Live At The Hollywood Bowl (Dr Ebbetts stereo remake of unreleased 1964 album)
* Beatles For Sale (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Help! (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Live At The Hollywood Bowl... Again! (Dr Ebbetts creation, stereo)
* Rubber Soul (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Revolver (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Magical Mystery Tour (Dr. Ebbetts German HorZu Stereo - 2005 Upgrade)
* The Beatles (Dr. Ebbetts German White Vinyl Direct Metal Master - AMAZING!!)
* Yellow Submarine (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
* Last Licks Live: The Rooftop Concert (Dr. Ebbetts creation, mono)
* Get Back - version 1 (unreleased LP remastered by Dr. Ebbetts, stereo)
* Hot As Sun - 'Special Bogus Edition' (fabled unreleased LP reconstructed by Japanese bootleggers; I corrected some glitches and upgraded a couple tracks that were poor quality)
* Abbey Road (Dr. Ebbetts Japanese Pro-Use Stereo - the best Abbey Road released yet!)
* Get Back - version 2 (unreleased LP remastered by Dr. Ebbetts, stereo)
* Hey Jude (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo)
* Let It Be (Dr. Ebbetts UK Stereo Blue Box)
COMING SOON (hopefully)
* The Beatles' Christmas Album (Dr. Ebbetts US Mono) - if anyone can supply this in FLACs, I would be grateful! I can't find it anywhere...
* Hot As Sun (an alternate and very different reconstruction of the fabled unreleased LP, originally released by the same Japanese bootleggers behind the 'Special Bogus Edition'; however, since theirs was poor quality, I'm upgrading the entire thing using tracks from Purple Chick's Deluxe Editions!)
Lemme know...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary - an educated guess
Though nothing has been said about it yet, something will inevitably happen in October or November of this year: Saturday Night Live's 35th Anniversary Special, following the 15th in 1989 and the 25th in 1999. Much has changed since the last special - Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri are no longer representatives of "current SNL", Jimmy Fallon went from featured player to cast member to alumni to talk show host, another former cast member passed away, the show began airing in HD, and the TV Funhouse segments disappeared in favor of the SNL Digital Shorts.
Since we still have a few months, I thought I would take this opportunity to make educated predictions about what exactly we'll be seeing in a 35th Anniversary Special...
* The show will be at LEAST three hours long, with a number of excessive commercial breaks
* Monologue by Tom Hanks again (he's done the previous two)
* Monologue and/or performance by Justin Timberlake, who either references "Dick In A Box" or sings a variation of "bring it on in to Omeletteville"
* SNL Digital Shorts montage, including (edited for prime time) "BLEEP In A Box", "Lazy Sunday", "MacGruber", and "BLEEP In My Pants"
* A handful of past hosts and musical guests introducing montages and kissing Lorne's ass for cheap applause, including Steve Martin, whose contributions to SNL are no longer considered relevant, having turned himself into nothing more than "that 'hamburger' guy"
* 70's montage including Mighty Mouse, The Wolverines, Mr. Bill, Cheeseburger, Land Shark, Judy Miller throwing herself into a door, Samurai Deli, and the same clip of Chevy calling Richard Pryor the n-word that's been in both previous specials and every single 'Best of the Classic Years' video
* Rehashed tributes to Gilda Radner and John Belushi
* Early 80's montage that skips the struggling seasons and focuses entirely on 1982-1985, with most clips featuring either Eddie Murphy or the 1984-85 cast (expect to see Synchronized Swimming, Christopher Guest saying "chocolate babies", Mr. Robinson saying "WHO IS IT?!", Buckwheat singing "Fee Tines A Mady", Fernando saying "you look marvelous", Ed Grimley excited over meeting Pat Sajak, possibly a brief clip of "I'm Gumby, dammit", and Tim Kazurinsky being hugged by a chimp)
* A shot of the audience in which Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius and Gilbert Gottfried are visible, just happy to be there and not at all surprised that none of their material has been shown
* Late 80's montage including the Master Thespian saying "acting", Lovitz telling Hartman he stinks, Dana singing about chopping broccoli, and no footage whatsoever of 1985-86
* Early 90's montage including Canteen Boy being groped by Alec Baldwin, Wayne and Garth meeting Madonna, some Operaman clips, Farley eating French fries and shouting at Spade
* Rehashed tributes to Phil Hartman and Chris Farley
* Late 90's montage including Mango, Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Cheerleaders, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, and, you guessed it, Schwetty Balls
* 2000's montage centering entirely around Kristen Wiig, except for a clip of The Barry Gibb Talk Show
* A title card that briefly mentions Charles Rocket's death, and no mention at all of the deaths of Danitra Vance and Michael O'Donoghue
* Sappy slow-motion tribute to the now-retired Don Pardo
That just about covers it. See you in October, suckers! :-P
Since we still have a few months, I thought I would take this opportunity to make educated predictions about what exactly we'll be seeing in a 35th Anniversary Special...
* The show will be at LEAST three hours long, with a number of excessive commercial breaks
* Monologue by Tom Hanks again (he's done the previous two)
* Monologue and/or performance by Justin Timberlake, who either references "Dick In A Box" or sings a variation of "bring it on in to Omeletteville"
* SNL Digital Shorts montage, including (edited for prime time) "BLEEP In A Box", "Lazy Sunday", "MacGruber", and "BLEEP In My Pants"
* A handful of past hosts and musical guests introducing montages and kissing Lorne's ass for cheap applause, including Steve Martin, whose contributions to SNL are no longer considered relevant, having turned himself into nothing more than "that 'hamburger' guy"
* 70's montage including Mighty Mouse, The Wolverines, Mr. Bill, Cheeseburger, Land Shark, Judy Miller throwing herself into a door, Samurai Deli, and the same clip of Chevy calling Richard Pryor the n-word that's been in both previous specials and every single 'Best of the Classic Years' video
* Rehashed tributes to Gilda Radner and John Belushi
* Early 80's montage that skips the struggling seasons and focuses entirely on 1982-1985, with most clips featuring either Eddie Murphy or the 1984-85 cast (expect to see Synchronized Swimming, Christopher Guest saying "chocolate babies", Mr. Robinson saying "WHO IS IT?!", Buckwheat singing "Fee Tines A Mady", Fernando saying "you look marvelous", Ed Grimley excited over meeting Pat Sajak, possibly a brief clip of "I'm Gumby, dammit", and Tim Kazurinsky being hugged by a chimp)
* A shot of the audience in which Denny Dillon, Gail Matthius and Gilbert Gottfried are visible, just happy to be there and not at all surprised that none of their material has been shown
* Late 80's montage including the Master Thespian saying "acting", Lovitz telling Hartman he stinks, Dana singing about chopping broccoli, and no footage whatsoever of 1985-86
* Early 90's montage including Canteen Boy being groped by Alec Baldwin, Wayne and Garth meeting Madonna, some Operaman clips, Farley eating French fries and shouting at Spade
* Rehashed tributes to Phil Hartman and Chris Farley
* Late 90's montage including Mango, Mary Katherine Gallagher, the Cheerleaders, the Ambiguously Gay Duo, and, you guessed it, Schwetty Balls
* 2000's montage centering entirely around Kristen Wiig, except for a clip of The Barry Gibb Talk Show
* A title card that briefly mentions Charles Rocket's death, and no mention at all of the deaths of Danitra Vance and Michael O'Donoghue
* Sappy slow-motion tribute to the now-retired Don Pardo
That just about covers it. See you in October, suckers! :-P
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Beatles - Drug Songs! (another DIY compilation)
This is something silly I've wanted to put together for a while... an old Beatles discography book I have sarcastically named "The Beatles' Drug Songs" as a possible contended for the next cheesy Capitol Records compilation. (The book was released around the time of "Reel Music," so the author was getting a little fed up.)
So, if one were to make such an album, what could be on it?
BEATLES TRACKS
* "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" - The most obvious choice; though it's well known now that the title was a Julian Lennon creation and the suggestive initials were a mere coincidence, Paul admitted the obvious recently and stated that the lyrics were influenced by LSD.
* "Got To Get You Into My Life" - Paul's 'love song' to pot, by his own admission. The bizarre organ-based Anthology version fits the mood a little better.
* "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" - Written during John's heroin period; the "I need a fix" verse makes this quite clear.
* "With A Little Help From My Friends" - The infamous "I get high..." chorus prompted a backlash against this song by vice president Spiro Agnew. Of course, there has been plenty of speculation about what the 'friends' referred to.
* "It's All Too Much" - A Harrison composition based on one of his LSD experiences. Hey, if you really want to enhance the 'Drug Songs' theme, use the outtake with the long, psychotic ending.
* "I Am The Walrus" - Written by John whilst on an LSD trip. And no, in case you're wondering, the ending chant is 'everybody's got one', NOT the widely-believed 'everybody smoke pot.' Come on, the Beatles weren't THAT daring...
* "A Day In The Life" - Banned from the radio due both to "I'd love to turn you on" and Paul going upstairs to "have a smoke."
* "Day Tripper" - The 'trip' in the title is exactly what you'd think, by the Beatles' own admissions.
* "And Your Bird Can Sing" - Not the song in general, but specifically, take 2 from the Anthology, when the group mysteriously has a case of the giggles that the accompanying booklet refuses to elaborate on...
* "I'm Only Sleeping" - The lyrics about staying in bed and floating upstream are enough of a giveaway, but even more notable is the backwards guitar, inspired by John trying to listen to a dub of this song whilst high and inserting the reel tape into the machine the wrong way. (Again, John's own admission.)
* "Rain" - If the overall sound and tone of the song didn't give it away, this is another entry from John's 'backwards' era.
* "Doctor Robert" - Written about an actual dentist who tried to slip LSD into the Beatles' tea. (Yep, that's where 'take a drink from his special cup' came from.)
* "Tomorrow Never Knows" - Oh come on, I don't even have to explain this.
* "She Said, She Said" - Inspired by a drug party that John attended. Actor Peter Fonda, whilst on acid, kept telling John that he knew 'what it's like to be dead.' (Accordingly, the original title of the song was "He Said, He Said.")
* "Get Back" - Not completely drug-related, but Paul mentioned that the 'California grass' reference is about what you'd think.
* "Helter Skelter" - Again, the droning Anthology version (with the extra lyrics about 'getting high') might be more appropriate; but then again, the psychotic White Album version with the bit about 'she's coming down fast' works just as well. While I know that this song was supposedly inspired by an English playground slide called a 'helter skelter', isn't it a bit loud to *really* be about a slide? :-P
* "Dig A Pony" - I'm throwing this on here, because 'oblique Lennon lyrics' usually means 'druggy Lennon lyrics.' Hey, the line about 'rolling a stoney' fits, dunnit?
POSSIBLE SOLO TRACKS
* "Cold Turkey" - John's controversial ode to heroin addiction.
* "Hi Hi Hi" - A banned-from-radio rocker by Paul and Wings, about getting 'high high high' in the sun.
NOT INCLUDED/MISINTERPRETED
* "I Want To Hold Your Hand" - The bridge was infamously misheard by Bob Dylan as 'I get high', as opposed to the actual lyrics of 'I can't hide.'
* "It's Only Love" - As far as I know, the mention of 'I get high' in this song was never meant to have a sinister second meaning... but then again, this was during the "Help!" era, when the Beatles were off doing things like smoking up the Queen's bathroom. (Hey, it's true, watch the Anthology.)
* "Fixing A Hole" - The 'fix' in the title has been sometimes misinterpreted as a heroin reference, but Paul has denied that, insisting that the song was literally about fixing a hole in an ugly room. Paul never actually did heroin anyway - John, however, was a different story, as seen above.
* "Magical Mystery Tour" - Don't bother reading into 'roll up for the mystery tour'... the song was specifically written to accompany the actual bus tour seen in the movie.
* "Yellow Submarine" - While 'yellow submarine' did eventually find use as a slang term for acid, the song was actually written as an innocent children's song, inspired by a dream Paul had.
There are probably others I've forgotten... anyone?
So, if one were to make such an album, what could be on it?
BEATLES TRACKS
* "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" - The most obvious choice; though it's well known now that the title was a Julian Lennon creation and the suggestive initials were a mere coincidence, Paul admitted the obvious recently and stated that the lyrics were influenced by LSD.
* "Got To Get You Into My Life" - Paul's 'love song' to pot, by his own admission. The bizarre organ-based Anthology version fits the mood a little better.
* "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" - Written during John's heroin period; the "I need a fix" verse makes this quite clear.
* "With A Little Help From My Friends" - The infamous "I get high..." chorus prompted a backlash against this song by vice president Spiro Agnew. Of course, there has been plenty of speculation about what the 'friends' referred to.
* "It's All Too Much" - A Harrison composition based on one of his LSD experiences. Hey, if you really want to enhance the 'Drug Songs' theme, use the outtake with the long, psychotic ending.
* "I Am The Walrus" - Written by John whilst on an LSD trip. And no, in case you're wondering, the ending chant is 'everybody's got one', NOT the widely-believed 'everybody smoke pot.' Come on, the Beatles weren't THAT daring...
* "A Day In The Life" - Banned from the radio due both to "I'd love to turn you on" and Paul going upstairs to "have a smoke."
* "Day Tripper" - The 'trip' in the title is exactly what you'd think, by the Beatles' own admissions.
* "And Your Bird Can Sing" - Not the song in general, but specifically, take 2 from the Anthology, when the group mysteriously has a case of the giggles that the accompanying booklet refuses to elaborate on...
* "I'm Only Sleeping" - The lyrics about staying in bed and floating upstream are enough of a giveaway, but even more notable is the backwards guitar, inspired by John trying to listen to a dub of this song whilst high and inserting the reel tape into the machine the wrong way. (Again, John's own admission.)
* "Rain" - If the overall sound and tone of the song didn't give it away, this is another entry from John's 'backwards' era.
* "Doctor Robert" - Written about an actual dentist who tried to slip LSD into the Beatles' tea. (Yep, that's where 'take a drink from his special cup' came from.)
* "Tomorrow Never Knows" - Oh come on, I don't even have to explain this.
* "She Said, She Said" - Inspired by a drug party that John attended. Actor Peter Fonda, whilst on acid, kept telling John that he knew 'what it's like to be dead.' (Accordingly, the original title of the song was "He Said, He Said.")
* "Get Back" - Not completely drug-related, but Paul mentioned that the 'California grass' reference is about what you'd think.
* "Helter Skelter" - Again, the droning Anthology version (with the extra lyrics about 'getting high') might be more appropriate; but then again, the psychotic White Album version with the bit about 'she's coming down fast' works just as well. While I know that this song was supposedly inspired by an English playground slide called a 'helter skelter', isn't it a bit loud to *really* be about a slide? :-P
* "Dig A Pony" - I'm throwing this on here, because 'oblique Lennon lyrics' usually means 'druggy Lennon lyrics.' Hey, the line about 'rolling a stoney' fits, dunnit?
POSSIBLE SOLO TRACKS
* "Cold Turkey" - John's controversial ode to heroin addiction.
* "Hi Hi Hi" - A banned-from-radio rocker by Paul and Wings, about getting 'high high high' in the sun.
NOT INCLUDED/MISINTERPRETED
* "I Want To Hold Your Hand" - The bridge was infamously misheard by Bob Dylan as 'I get high', as opposed to the actual lyrics of 'I can't hide.'
* "It's Only Love" - As far as I know, the mention of 'I get high' in this song was never meant to have a sinister second meaning... but then again, this was during the "Help!" era, when the Beatles were off doing things like smoking up the Queen's bathroom. (Hey, it's true, watch the Anthology.)
* "Fixing A Hole" - The 'fix' in the title has been sometimes misinterpreted as a heroin reference, but Paul has denied that, insisting that the song was literally about fixing a hole in an ugly room. Paul never actually did heroin anyway - John, however, was a different story, as seen above.
* "Magical Mystery Tour" - Don't bother reading into 'roll up for the mystery tour'... the song was specifically written to accompany the actual bus tour seen in the movie.
* "Yellow Submarine" - While 'yellow submarine' did eventually find use as a slang term for acid, the song was actually written as an innocent children's song, inspired by a dream Paul had.
There are probably others I've forgotten... anyone?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Dedicated to the Butterfly
If you own at least one Insane Clown Posse CD, you will have probably noticed the strange liner note mentioning how the CD is "dedicated to the Butterfly." If you're a *true* ICP fan (and not, like, one of those people who bought "The Great Milenko" just because all the other kids at school had it), you most likely know what the meaning of this ever-present dedication is; but for those that don't...
It stems from a traumatic event in Violent J's childhood. One day, J and his brother spotted the most beautiful butterfly they had ever seen. They placed it in a jar, intending to set it free the next day after spending the night admiring its beauty. However, when they awoke the next morning, the butterfly was dead - an image that has haunted J ever since. So, it became a tradition to dedicate each of ICP's releases to 'the Butterfly' - J's way of apologizing to the creature he feels he unfairly robbed of life.
I've come to believe that everyone has their own Butterfly... in other words, I believe that inside every single person lies the scarring memory of a small, otherwise insignificant event that managed to leave a lasting negative impression.
I definitely know mine; several years ago, we had a number of contractors replace the siding on our house. One of them discovered a nest of baby bunnies in our front yard that we hadn't noticed. For whatever reason, the bunnies started dying while the contractors were there; before it was too late, my mother decided to try and rescue the last remaining baby. It was very small, enough to fit in the palm of your hand. We made a little makeshift home for it (I think it was a basket, but I can't remember for sure), and named it Momo. The basket was sitting on top of our stereo, which was a horrible idea on someone's part, because Momo jumped out at one point, falling about four feet.
Over the next day, we realized that he must've been gravely injured from the fall; he was no longer very active, and was becoming increasingly cold to the touch. My mother and I rushed to the pet store to buy a sort of small baby bottle so that she could feed him in an effort to nurse him back to health. After she tried for quite some time, she and my dad decided to let him rest while they went grocery shopping. I went with them, because I couldn't bear to be home alone with the bunny if it died. It did, of course, during the time we were at the store.
For whatever reason, this struck a horrendous chord inside me... for someone who usually took the deaths of our pets fairly well, I was extremely upset. The night it happened, I couldn't get to sleep, because I cried for ages, to the point where my mom asked me what the big deal was. To this day, I have no answer for that question. I suppose I just took a lot of pity on this small, defenseless animal, especially after knowing that the rest of his family had died over the last couple days.
So, I guess that Momo was my Butterfly. What most people would look at as a small, insignificant event had a large emotional impact on me that I still can't explain. Just as Violent J hopes that he'll someday be able to face the Butterfly once more in the afterlife, perhaps deep inside of me is the hope that someday in the afterlife, I will see Momo, grown and healthy; and I will be able to apologize for not preventing the abrupt, avoidable end to his short life.
Is anyone else willing to share the story of their own Butterfly?
It stems from a traumatic event in Violent J's childhood. One day, J and his brother spotted the most beautiful butterfly they had ever seen. They placed it in a jar, intending to set it free the next day after spending the night admiring its beauty. However, when they awoke the next morning, the butterfly was dead - an image that has haunted J ever since. So, it became a tradition to dedicate each of ICP's releases to 'the Butterfly' - J's way of apologizing to the creature he feels he unfairly robbed of life.
I've come to believe that everyone has their own Butterfly... in other words, I believe that inside every single person lies the scarring memory of a small, otherwise insignificant event that managed to leave a lasting negative impression.
I definitely know mine; several years ago, we had a number of contractors replace the siding on our house. One of them discovered a nest of baby bunnies in our front yard that we hadn't noticed. For whatever reason, the bunnies started dying while the contractors were there; before it was too late, my mother decided to try and rescue the last remaining baby. It was very small, enough to fit in the palm of your hand. We made a little makeshift home for it (I think it was a basket, but I can't remember for sure), and named it Momo. The basket was sitting on top of our stereo, which was a horrible idea on someone's part, because Momo jumped out at one point, falling about four feet.
Over the next day, we realized that he must've been gravely injured from the fall; he was no longer very active, and was becoming increasingly cold to the touch. My mother and I rushed to the pet store to buy a sort of small baby bottle so that she could feed him in an effort to nurse him back to health. After she tried for quite some time, she and my dad decided to let him rest while they went grocery shopping. I went with them, because I couldn't bear to be home alone with the bunny if it died. It did, of course, during the time we were at the store.
For whatever reason, this struck a horrendous chord inside me... for someone who usually took the deaths of our pets fairly well, I was extremely upset. The night it happened, I couldn't get to sleep, because I cried for ages, to the point where my mom asked me what the big deal was. To this day, I have no answer for that question. I suppose I just took a lot of pity on this small, defenseless animal, especially after knowing that the rest of his family had died over the last couple days.
So, I guess that Momo was my Butterfly. What most people would look at as a small, insignificant event had a large emotional impact on me that I still can't explain. Just as Violent J hopes that he'll someday be able to face the Butterfly once more in the afterlife, perhaps deep inside of me is the hope that someday in the afterlife, I will see Momo, grown and healthy; and I will be able to apologize for not preventing the abrupt, avoidable end to his short life.
Is anyone else willing to share the story of their own Butterfly?
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