You know what I just realized is a nice feeling?
Spending time on a blazing hot summer day in an icy cold, perfectly air conditioned store. And I mean, a big store, like a Wal-Mart, where the chilly air is complemented by the chatter of a dozen televisions and the beeping of price scanners.
Even if you don't buy something, who cares? It's pleasant.
:-)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Fifty-seven James Bond films - and then some?! (updated Oct 10)
I thought I would try something absolutely crazy, and compile the most complete Bond film chronology *ever*. This is divided into four parts - authorized usage of Bond, unauthorized adaptations of Bond (that still use his name), spinoffs and related films, and notable copycats (obvious ripoffs, like '070' and '777'.) Hold your breath, it's about to get crazy.
[UPDATE - Oct 10 - Added to almost every section. This list keeps on growing...]
========================
I. Authorized Usage of James Bond
10/1954 - CASINO ROYALE
starring Barry Nelson
Origin: United States
TV adaptation, featuring an Americanized Bond.
10/1962 - DR. NO
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
First EON production.
10/1963 - FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
09/1964 - GOLDFINGER
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1965 - THUNDERBALL
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1966 - CASINO ROYALE
starring David Niven, Terence Cooper and Peter Sellers
Origin: England
Not an EON production, and not considered part of the series.
06/1967 - YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1969 - ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
starring George Lazenby
Origin: England
12/1971 - DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
06/1973 - LIVE AND LET DIE
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
12/1974 - THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
07/1977 - THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1979 - MOONRAKER
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1981 - FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1983 - OCTOPUSSY
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
10/1983 - NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
Not an EON production, and not considered part of the series.
05/1985 - A VIEW TO A KILL
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1987 - THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
starring Timothy Dalton
Origin: England
06/1989 - LICENCE TO KILL
starring Timothy Dalton
Origin: England
11/1995 - GOLDENEYE
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
12/1997 - TOMORROW NEVER DIES
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/1999 - THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/2002 - DIE ANOTHER DAY
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/2006 - CASINO ROYALE
starring Daniel Craig
Origin: England
10/2008 - QUANTUM OF SOLACE
starring Daniel Craig
Origin: England
========================
II: Unauthorized Adaptations of James Bond
10/1965 - THE AMAZING DOCTOR G
[aka TWO MAFIOSI AGAINST GOLDGINGER]
(DUE MAFIOSI CONTRO GOLDGINGER)
featuring George Hilton
Origins: Spain / Italy
Bond has a small role, and is killed.
05/1966 - 07 CON EL 2 DELANTE (AGENTE: JAMIE BONET) [trans?]
starring Casto Sendra Barrufet [aka Cassen]
Origin: Spain
07/1966 - FUNNY 007
(YOCHEOL BOKTONG 007)
starring Shi-Ja Cheon
Origin: South Korea
??/1966 - JAMES BATMAN
starring Rodolfo Quizon [aka Dolphy]
Origin: Philippines
Dolphy would star in a number of other Bond spoofs as well, but not as James Bond himself.
??/1966 - GOLDEN BOY
(ALTIN COCUK)
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
??/1966 - LAW OF THE GUNS
(SILAHLARIN KANUNU)
starring Yilmaz Guney
Origin: Turkey
??/1966 - SEVEN JAMES BONDS
(PITONG JAMES BONDS)
starring Mariano Contreras (aka Pugo), Lopito, Ben Cosca (aka Bentot), Perfecto Pinon (aka Tugak), Pugak, Cachupoy, and Apeng Daldal
Origin: Philippines
??/1967 - GOLDEN BOY IN BEIRUT
(ALTIN COCUK BEYRUT'TA)
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
??/1967 - ORTA SARK YANIYOR [trans?]
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
The third "Golden Boy" film.
??/1970 - THE SPY WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
(ALTIN TABANCALI ADAM)
starring Murat Soydan
Origin: Turkey
Interestingly enough, the similarly-titled "The Man With The Golden Gun" was also released in Turkey as "Altin Tabancali Adam."
??/1970 - CEHENNEMDE SENLIK VAR [trans?]
starring Yilmaz Koksal
Origin: Turkey
??/1971 - JAMES BOND 777
starring Krishna Ghattamaneni
Origin: India
??/1977 - AGENT VINOD
starring Mahendra Sandhu
Origin: India
The name 'James Bond' is never used, but unlike other foreign knock-offs whose characters merely mimic Bond, the intended identity of this character is obvious. Incidentally, the 2011 film of the same title has no connection to this one.
03/1977 - THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN
[aka THE DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG-FU]
(LE SAN JIAO WEN ZHEN DI YU MEN)
featuring Alexander Grand
Origin: Hong Kong
Though the film does not center around James Bond, he appears prominently, alongside a number of other familiar characters.
04/1983 - THE RETURN OF THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
featuring George Lazenby
Origin: United States
Lazenby's Bond (referred to as "J.B.") has a cameo appearance.
??/1984 - JAMES BOND 999
starring Suman
Origin: India
No copy of this film appears to be in public circulation.
??/1985 - BOND 303
starring Jeetendra
Origin: India
??/1987 - THE MAHJONG INCIDENT
[aka THE GREEN JADE MAHJONGG]
featuring Ron D. Cohen
Origin: China
Bond makes a brief cameo.
04/1992 - MR. BOND
starring Akshay Kumar
Origin: India
10/1994 - FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE
[aka MADE IN CHINA 007]
(GUOCHAN LING LING QI)
starring Stephen Chiau
Origin: Hong Kong
10/2001 - STEALING DAGMAR
(JAK UKRAST DAGMARU)
starring Jaroslav Sypal
Origin: Czech Republic
========================
III: Bond Without Bond - Spinoffs and Related Films
03/1964 - HOT ENOUGH FOR JUNE
[aka AGENT 8 3/4]
starring Dirk Bogarde
Origin: England
Concerns the agent who replaces now-deceased James Bond.
07/1966 - KALEIDOSCOPE
starring Warren Beatty
Origin: England
A Bond-less, unauthorized adaptation of Fleming's Casino Royale.
09/1966 - KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE
[aka IF ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD]
(SE TUTTE LE DONNE DEL MONDO)
starring Mike Connors
Origin: Italy
This is primarily a spoof of Sixties spy films, but earns a spot on this list, as it was largely adapted into "Moonraker."
??/1966 - VALLAVAN ORUVAN [trans?]
starring Jaishankar
Origin: India
Not a Bond film, but rather, a plagiarism of "Dr. No" and "From Russia With Love" with a Bond-like character. (Other portions of the film rip off the French spy film "Banque a Bankok pour OSS 117.")
??/1966 - MONEY-COLLECTING AGENT 007
(EISPRAKTOR 007)
starring Nikos Stavridis
Origin: Greece
Outside of the title, the connection to Bond is unknown; the character himself doesn't seem to appear.
04/1967 - OPERATION KID BROTHER
[aka OPERATION DOUBLE 007 and OK CONNERY]
starring Neil Connery
Origin: Italy
Centers around Bond's look-alike brother. Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Adolfo Celi, and Daniela Bianchi also appear.
03/1968 - BONDITIS
starring Gerd Baltus
Origins: Switzerland / West Germany
Concerns a man who merely thinks he is James Bond.
12/1975 - FROM HONG KONG WITH LOVE
(BONS BAISERS DE HONG KONG)
starring Les Charlots [musical group]
Origin: France
Bond is actually killed during the gunbarrel sequence; Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell recruit a group called Les Charlots in his place. Clifton James also appears.
06/1981 - THE CANNONBALL RUN
featuring Roger Moore
Origin: United States
Obviously not a Bond film, but Roger Moore appears as a man who believes himself to be Roger Moore's Bond.
09/1981 - SHUT UP WHEN YOU SPEAK!
(TAIS-TOI QUAND TU PARLES!)
starring Aldo Maccione
Origins: France / Italy
Concerns a man named Giacomo (Italian for 'James') who dreams he is James Bond.
01/1984 - OUR MAN FROM BOND STREET
(ZUIJIA PAIDANG ZHI NUHUANG MILING)
featuring Jean Mersant
Origin: Hong Kong
Part of the "Aces Go Places" (or "Mad Mission") series. The villain is a jewel thief who poses as James Bond. Oddjob (not played by Harold Sakata) appears, as does Richard Kiel.
========================
IV: Bond Without Bond - Notable Copycats
AGENT 007 1/2
??/1966 - 007 1/2 NO CARNAVAL [trans?]
starring Larry Carr
Origin: Brazil
AGENT 707
03/1965 - DRAGNET
(LAMBAT)
starring Bernard Bonnin
Origin: Philippines
Despite the title, this has no relation to the American TV series.
09/1965 - KARATE SA KARATE [trans?]
starring Bernard Bonnin
Origin: Philippines
BOB FLEMING, AGENT 077
04/1965 - SECRET AGENT FIREBALL
[aka 077: CHALLENGE TO KILLERS and THE SPY KILLERS]
(LE SPIE UCCIDONO A BEIRUT)
starring Richard Harrison
Origins: Italy / France
??/1966 - KILLERS ARE CHALLENGED
[aka MISSION CASABLANCA]
(A 077, SFIDA AI KILLERS)
starring Richard Harrison
Origins: Italy / France
BOND CALLAGHAN
10/1966 - OPERATION COUNTERSPY
(ASSO DI PICCHE OPERAZIONE CONTROSPIONAGGIO)
starring George Ardisson
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
COPLAN, AGENT 777 [aka AGENT FX 18]
03/1964 - KILL SECRET AGENT 777 - STOP
[aka AGENT SECRET FX 18]
(UCCIDETE AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - STOP)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: France / Italy / Spain
First released in France, with the character referred to as 'FX 18'. The Italian edition rebranded him '777', to make the Bond connection more obvious. The next Coplan movie would not be renamed to cash in on Bond.
10/1965 - AGENTE 777 MISSIONE SUMMERGAME
[aka COPLAN FX 18 CASSE TOUT]
starring Richard Wyler
Origins: France / Italy
The third Coplan film. One unidentified country seems to have taken the renaming scheme one step further by calling the character '077'. (Incidentally, none of the future Coplan productions would be altered anywhere to reflect the '777' number.)
CHARLES DUFF, AGENT 070
[aka DAN COOPER]
??/1965 - ONE TANGO FROM RUSSIA
(UN TANGO DALLA RUSSIA)
starring Dan Christian
Origin: Italy
The character is known as Charles Duff.
??/1966 - THUNDERBAY MISSIONE GRASSHOPPER
starring Dan Christian
Origins: Hong Kong / Italy
For reasons unknown, 070 has been renamed Dan Cooper.
DICK MALLOY, AGENT 077
08/1965 - MISSION BLOODY MARY
(AGENTE 077 MISSIONE BLOODY MARY)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
09/1965 - FROM THE ORIENT WITH FURY
[aka FURY IN ISTANBUL]
(AGENTE 077 DALL'ORIENTE CON FURORE)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
08/1966 - SPECIAL MISSION LADY CHAPLIN
(MISSIONE SPECIALE LADY CHAPLIN)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
Co-stars Daniela Bianchi.
DR. BARDIN, SECRET AGENT 777
11/1965 - SECRET AGENT 777
(AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - OPERAZIONE MISTERO)
starring Mark Damon
Origins: Italy
Followed by "A Ticket To Die" (see below), which seemingly focuses on a different 777.
GEORGE FARRELL, AGENT 077
10/1965 - ESPIONAGE IN LISBON
(MISION LISBOA)
starring Brett Halsey
Origins: Spain / Italy / France
JAMES BONDAT
??/1970 - JAMES BONDAT
starring Augusto Valdez Pangan (aka Chiquito)
Origin: Philippines
Like Dolphy, Chiquito would star in many other Bond spoofs, though not which such a close character name.
JAMES TONT
??/1965 - JAMES TONT: OPERATION U.N.O.
starring Lando Buzzanca
Origin: Italy
??/1965 - JAMES TONT: OPERATION D.U.E.
[aka OPERATION GOLDSINGER and THE WACKY WORLD OF JAMES TONT]
starring Lando Buzzanca
Origin: Italy
LEWIS JORDAN, SECRET AGENT 777
??/1967 - A TICKET TO DIE
(AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - INVITO AD UCCIDERE)
starring Tiziano Cortini
Origin: Italy
Follows "Secret Agent 777," though this is apparently a different character.
MIKE MURPHY, AGENT 077 [aka MARC MATO, LEMMY LOGAN and ROBBY LOGAN]
08/1965 - ESPIONAGE IN TANGIERS
(MARC MATO, AGENTE S. 077)
starring Luis Davila
Origins: Spain / Italy
It is often said that George Lazenby has a small role in the 92-minute cut of this film; this seems to be untrue.
08/1966 - YPOTRON - FINAL COUNTDOWN
(AGENTE LOGAN - MISSIONE YPOTRON)
starring Luis Davila
Origins: Spain / Italy
Agent 077's name was changed here for reasons unknown - different editions called him Lemmy Logan or Robby Logan, except in West Germany, where he was still referred to as Mike Murphy.
SECRET AGENT 077
??/1968 - GOLDEN EYES SECRET AGENT 077
starring Mumtaz Askari
Origin: India
========================
Phew! If anyone has something to add, let me know...
[UPDATE - Oct 10 - Added to almost every section. This list keeps on growing...]
========================
I. Authorized Usage of James Bond
10/1954 - CASINO ROYALE
starring Barry Nelson
Origin: United States
TV adaptation, featuring an Americanized Bond.
10/1962 - DR. NO
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
First EON production.
10/1963 - FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
09/1964 - GOLDFINGER
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1965 - THUNDERBALL
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1966 - CASINO ROYALE
starring David Niven, Terence Cooper and Peter Sellers
Origin: England
Not an EON production, and not considered part of the series.
06/1967 - YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
12/1969 - ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE
starring George Lazenby
Origin: England
12/1971 - DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
06/1973 - LIVE AND LET DIE
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
12/1974 - THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
07/1977 - THE SPY WHO LOVED ME
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1979 - MOONRAKER
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1981 - FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1983 - OCTOPUSSY
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
10/1983 - NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
starring Sean Connery
Origin: England
Not an EON production, and not considered part of the series.
05/1985 - A VIEW TO A KILL
starring Roger Moore
Origin: England
06/1987 - THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS
starring Timothy Dalton
Origin: England
06/1989 - LICENCE TO KILL
starring Timothy Dalton
Origin: England
11/1995 - GOLDENEYE
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
12/1997 - TOMORROW NEVER DIES
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/1999 - THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/2002 - DIE ANOTHER DAY
starring Pierce Brosnan
Origin: England
11/2006 - CASINO ROYALE
starring Daniel Craig
Origin: England
10/2008 - QUANTUM OF SOLACE
starring Daniel Craig
Origin: England
========================
II: Unauthorized Adaptations of James Bond
10/1965 - THE AMAZING DOCTOR G
[aka TWO MAFIOSI AGAINST GOLDGINGER]
(DUE MAFIOSI CONTRO GOLDGINGER)
featuring George Hilton
Origins: Spain / Italy
Bond has a small role, and is killed.
05/1966 - 07 CON EL 2 DELANTE (AGENTE: JAMIE BONET) [trans?]
starring Casto Sendra Barrufet [aka Cassen]
Origin: Spain
07/1966 - FUNNY 007
(YOCHEOL BOKTONG 007)
starring Shi-Ja Cheon
Origin: South Korea
??/1966 - JAMES BATMAN
starring Rodolfo Quizon [aka Dolphy]
Origin: Philippines
Dolphy would star in a number of other Bond spoofs as well, but not as James Bond himself.
??/1966 - GOLDEN BOY
(ALTIN COCUK)
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
??/1966 - LAW OF THE GUNS
(SILAHLARIN KANUNU)
starring Yilmaz Guney
Origin: Turkey
??/1966 - SEVEN JAMES BONDS
(PITONG JAMES BONDS)
starring Mariano Contreras (aka Pugo), Lopito, Ben Cosca (aka Bentot), Perfecto Pinon (aka Tugak), Pugak, Cachupoy, and Apeng Daldal
Origin: Philippines
??/1967 - GOLDEN BOY IN BEIRUT
(ALTIN COCUK BEYRUT'TA)
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
??/1967 - ORTA SARK YANIYOR [trans?]
starring Goksel Arsoy
Origin: Turkey
The third "Golden Boy" film.
??/1970 - THE SPY WITH THE GOLDEN GUN
(ALTIN TABANCALI ADAM)
starring Murat Soydan
Origin: Turkey
Interestingly enough, the similarly-titled "The Man With The Golden Gun" was also released in Turkey as "Altin Tabancali Adam."
??/1970 - CEHENNEMDE SENLIK VAR [trans?]
starring Yilmaz Koksal
Origin: Turkey
??/1971 - JAMES BOND 777
starring Krishna Ghattamaneni
Origin: India
??/1977 - AGENT VINOD
starring Mahendra Sandhu
Origin: India
The name 'James Bond' is never used, but unlike other foreign knock-offs whose characters merely mimic Bond, the intended identity of this character is obvious. Incidentally, the 2011 film of the same title has no connection to this one.
03/1977 - THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN
[aka THE DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG-FU]
(LE SAN JIAO WEN ZHEN DI YU MEN)
featuring Alexander Grand
Origin: Hong Kong
Though the film does not center around James Bond, he appears prominently, alongside a number of other familiar characters.
04/1983 - THE RETURN OF THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
featuring George Lazenby
Origin: United States
Lazenby's Bond (referred to as "J.B.") has a cameo appearance.
??/1984 - JAMES BOND 999
starring Suman
Origin: India
No copy of this film appears to be in public circulation.
??/1985 - BOND 303
starring Jeetendra
Origin: India
??/1987 - THE MAHJONG INCIDENT
[aka THE GREEN JADE MAHJONGG]
featuring Ron D. Cohen
Origin: China
Bond makes a brief cameo.
04/1992 - MR. BOND
starring Akshay Kumar
Origin: India
10/1994 - FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE
[aka MADE IN CHINA 007]
(GUOCHAN LING LING QI)
starring Stephen Chiau
Origin: Hong Kong
10/2001 - STEALING DAGMAR
(JAK UKRAST DAGMARU)
starring Jaroslav Sypal
Origin: Czech Republic
========================
III: Bond Without Bond - Spinoffs and Related Films
03/1964 - HOT ENOUGH FOR JUNE
[aka AGENT 8 3/4]
starring Dirk Bogarde
Origin: England
Concerns the agent who replaces now-deceased James Bond.
07/1966 - KALEIDOSCOPE
starring Warren Beatty
Origin: England
A Bond-less, unauthorized adaptation of Fleming's Casino Royale.
09/1966 - KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE
[aka IF ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD]
(SE TUTTE LE DONNE DEL MONDO)
starring Mike Connors
Origin: Italy
This is primarily a spoof of Sixties spy films, but earns a spot on this list, as it was largely adapted into "Moonraker."
??/1966 - VALLAVAN ORUVAN [trans?]
starring Jaishankar
Origin: India
Not a Bond film, but rather, a plagiarism of "Dr. No" and "From Russia With Love" with a Bond-like character. (Other portions of the film rip off the French spy film "Banque a Bankok pour OSS 117.")
??/1966 - MONEY-COLLECTING AGENT 007
(EISPRAKTOR 007)
starring Nikos Stavridis
Origin: Greece
Outside of the title, the connection to Bond is unknown; the character himself doesn't seem to appear.
04/1967 - OPERATION KID BROTHER
[aka OPERATION DOUBLE 007 and OK CONNERY]
starring Neil Connery
Origin: Italy
Centers around Bond's look-alike brother. Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Adolfo Celi, and Daniela Bianchi also appear.
03/1968 - BONDITIS
starring Gerd Baltus
Origins: Switzerland / West Germany
Concerns a man who merely thinks he is James Bond.
12/1975 - FROM HONG KONG WITH LOVE
(BONS BAISERS DE HONG KONG)
starring Les Charlots [musical group]
Origin: France
Bond is actually killed during the gunbarrel sequence; Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell recruit a group called Les Charlots in his place. Clifton James also appears.
06/1981 - THE CANNONBALL RUN
featuring Roger Moore
Origin: United States
Obviously not a Bond film, but Roger Moore appears as a man who believes himself to be Roger Moore's Bond.
09/1981 - SHUT UP WHEN YOU SPEAK!
(TAIS-TOI QUAND TU PARLES!)
starring Aldo Maccione
Origins: France / Italy
Concerns a man named Giacomo (Italian for 'James') who dreams he is James Bond.
01/1984 - OUR MAN FROM BOND STREET
(ZUIJIA PAIDANG ZHI NUHUANG MILING)
featuring Jean Mersant
Origin: Hong Kong
Part of the "Aces Go Places" (or "Mad Mission") series. The villain is a jewel thief who poses as James Bond. Oddjob (not played by Harold Sakata) appears, as does Richard Kiel.
========================
IV: Bond Without Bond - Notable Copycats
AGENT 007 1/2
??/1966 - 007 1/2 NO CARNAVAL [trans?]
starring Larry Carr
Origin: Brazil
AGENT 707
03/1965 - DRAGNET
(LAMBAT)
starring Bernard Bonnin
Origin: Philippines
Despite the title, this has no relation to the American TV series.
09/1965 - KARATE SA KARATE [trans?]
starring Bernard Bonnin
Origin: Philippines
BOB FLEMING, AGENT 077
04/1965 - SECRET AGENT FIREBALL
[aka 077: CHALLENGE TO KILLERS and THE SPY KILLERS]
(LE SPIE UCCIDONO A BEIRUT)
starring Richard Harrison
Origins: Italy / France
??/1966 - KILLERS ARE CHALLENGED
[aka MISSION CASABLANCA]
(A 077, SFIDA AI KILLERS)
starring Richard Harrison
Origins: Italy / France
BOND CALLAGHAN
10/1966 - OPERATION COUNTERSPY
(ASSO DI PICCHE OPERAZIONE CONTROSPIONAGGIO)
starring George Ardisson
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
COPLAN, AGENT 777 [aka AGENT FX 18]
03/1964 - KILL SECRET AGENT 777 - STOP
[aka AGENT SECRET FX 18]
(UCCIDETE AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - STOP)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: France / Italy / Spain
First released in France, with the character referred to as 'FX 18'. The Italian edition rebranded him '777', to make the Bond connection more obvious. The next Coplan movie would not be renamed to cash in on Bond.
10/1965 - AGENTE 777 MISSIONE SUMMERGAME
[aka COPLAN FX 18 CASSE TOUT]
starring Richard Wyler
Origins: France / Italy
The third Coplan film. One unidentified country seems to have taken the renaming scheme one step further by calling the character '077'. (Incidentally, none of the future Coplan productions would be altered anywhere to reflect the '777' number.)
CHARLES DUFF, AGENT 070
[aka DAN COOPER]
??/1965 - ONE TANGO FROM RUSSIA
(UN TANGO DALLA RUSSIA)
starring Dan Christian
Origin: Italy
The character is known as Charles Duff.
??/1966 - THUNDERBAY MISSIONE GRASSHOPPER
starring Dan Christian
Origins: Hong Kong / Italy
For reasons unknown, 070 has been renamed Dan Cooper.
DICK MALLOY, AGENT 077
08/1965 - MISSION BLOODY MARY
(AGENTE 077 MISSIONE BLOODY MARY)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
09/1965 - FROM THE ORIENT WITH FURY
[aka FURY IN ISTANBUL]
(AGENTE 077 DALL'ORIENTE CON FURORE)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
08/1966 - SPECIAL MISSION LADY CHAPLIN
(MISSIONE SPECIALE LADY CHAPLIN)
starring Ken Clark
Origins: Italy / Spain / France
Co-stars Daniela Bianchi.
DR. BARDIN, SECRET AGENT 777
11/1965 - SECRET AGENT 777
(AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - OPERAZIONE MISTERO)
starring Mark Damon
Origins: Italy
Followed by "A Ticket To Die" (see below), which seemingly focuses on a different 777.
GEORGE FARRELL, AGENT 077
10/1965 - ESPIONAGE IN LISBON
(MISION LISBOA)
starring Brett Halsey
Origins: Spain / Italy / France
JAMES BONDAT
??/1970 - JAMES BONDAT
starring Augusto Valdez Pangan (aka Chiquito)
Origin: Philippines
Like Dolphy, Chiquito would star in many other Bond spoofs, though not which such a close character name.
JAMES TONT
??/1965 - JAMES TONT: OPERATION U.N.O.
starring Lando Buzzanca
Origin: Italy
??/1965 - JAMES TONT: OPERATION D.U.E.
[aka OPERATION GOLDSINGER and THE WACKY WORLD OF JAMES TONT]
starring Lando Buzzanca
Origin: Italy
LEWIS JORDAN, SECRET AGENT 777
??/1967 - A TICKET TO DIE
(AGENTE SEGRETO 777 - INVITO AD UCCIDERE)
starring Tiziano Cortini
Origin: Italy
Follows "Secret Agent 777," though this is apparently a different character.
MIKE MURPHY, AGENT 077 [aka MARC MATO, LEMMY LOGAN and ROBBY LOGAN]
08/1965 - ESPIONAGE IN TANGIERS
(MARC MATO, AGENTE S. 077)
starring Luis Davila
Origins: Spain / Italy
It is often said that George Lazenby has a small role in the 92-minute cut of this film; this seems to be untrue.
08/1966 - YPOTRON - FINAL COUNTDOWN
(AGENTE LOGAN - MISSIONE YPOTRON)
starring Luis Davila
Origins: Spain / Italy
Agent 077's name was changed here for reasons unknown - different editions called him Lemmy Logan or Robby Logan, except in West Germany, where he was still referred to as Mike Murphy.
SECRET AGENT 077
??/1968 - GOLDEN EYES SECRET AGENT 077
starring Mumtaz Askari
Origin: India
========================
Phew! If anyone has something to add, let me know...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Please identify this PBS kids show!!
This is driving me crazy. Someone must know this.
I specifically remember a PBS show... I believe it aired on Sundays... about a guy with a beard who, I *think*, lived on a farm. He had a dog named Blue, who was a puppet. I can't remember anything else about the show, except that there was an episode where Blue got sick, and the guy carried him to the vet. On the way home, he sang a song about how many miles from home they were.
I can't find a damned thing about whatever this show was, and it's making me bonkers. Someone must know.
EDIT - The guy's name *may* have been Jack. I'm not 100% sure though, that just popped into my head. I think the guy used his real name for his character, and his name may have even been in the title of the show.
I specifically remember a PBS show... I believe it aired on Sundays... about a guy with a beard who, I *think*, lived on a farm. He had a dog named Blue, who was a puppet. I can't remember anything else about the show, except that there was an episode where Blue got sick, and the guy carried him to the vet. On the way home, he sang a song about how many miles from home they were.
I can't find a damned thing about whatever this show was, and it's making me bonkers. Someone must know.
EDIT - The guy's name *may* have been Jack. I'm not 100% sure though, that just popped into my head. I think the guy used his real name for his character, and his name may have even been in the title of the show.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Girl, you know it's confusing.
See, this is why I got frustrated and gave up on trying to put together my multi-disc completists edition of "Girl You Know It's True" (which that single disc I put on here a while back was meant to be a preview of).... seems like every single version I find has different variations of the songs!
Here's a round-up of what I've found so far. Anyone think they have one I'm missing?
===============================================
ALL OR NOTHING - the German (and elsewhere) version
GENERAL
* Original tracklist; contains "Can't You Feel My Love", "Boy In The Tree", "Money", "Dance With A Devil", "Is It Love", and "Ma Baker."
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" appears in its original form.
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" appears in its original form: similar to the single version, through with the chorus like that of the US album version, rather than the single version's hip-hop chorus.
GERMAN LP
* "All Or Nothing" ends with a few seconds of German chatter.
* "All Or Nothing" is 3:23.
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" appears in its original form.
* "Girl You Know It's True" is 3:58 - most likely the heavily edited 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' that appeared on the "Greatest Hits" CD.
* "Hush" is included.
GERMAN CD
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 8:49 'Super Club Mix'.
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" is included as a bonus track after "Hush."
SPANISH/MEXICAN LP
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 4:12 US album version.
* "Hush" is missing.
* "All Or Nothing" is allegedly 3:44.
ALL OR NOTHING / 2x2 - the English versions
GENERAL
* "All Or Nothing" is missing its German chatter.
* "Hush" is missing.
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 8:08 uncut 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix.'
"ALL OR NOTHING" - CD
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" is included as a bonus track after GYNIT.
"2x2" - 2-LP SET
* Packages the complete English version of 'All Or Nothing' with 'All Or Nothing: The US Remix Album.' The 8:08 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYNIT appears twice.
"2x2" - CD
* The first 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYNIT has been removed, as this version is a single disc.
* The standard version of "All Or Nothing" is missing.
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" does not appear.
GIRL YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE - the American version
GENERAL
* Several of the tracks (listed above) from the German LP are gone. "More Than You'll Ever Know", "Blame It On The Rain", "Take It As It Comes" and "It's Your Thing" appear.
* Both the 4:12 album version and an edited 6:27 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYKIT are included.
* "All Or Nothing" is missing its German chatter.
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" is mostly a new version, with the chorus of the German album version. (Except on an unknown numbered pressing - see below.)
EARLY CD PRESSING
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" is a strange remix lasting 6:28. As this version doesn't really have the structure of a proper song, and resembles the remixes on the maxi single, it was likely included by mistake.
* "More Than You'll Ever Know" appears in its original 4:00 length.
* "Take It As It Comes" appears in its original 3:41 length.
* The original form of "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" from the German LP is used.
RECORD CLUB / MATRIX "-3" CD PRESSINGS
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" appears in its proper US album form.
* "More Than You'll Ever Know" has been extended to 4:32.
* "Take It As It Comes" has been extended to 4:15.
MATRIX "-4" CD PRESSING
As above, except:
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" has been remixed; the beat has been changed slightly, and the new length is 4:24.
===============================================
Well, there's *nine* variations! Any more?
(Also, credit where it's due - information about the US versions was sourced from here:
http://www.crapfromthepast.com/millivanilli/firstlp.htm)
Here's a round-up of what I've found so far. Anyone think they have one I'm missing?
===============================================
ALL OR NOTHING - the German (and elsewhere) version
GENERAL
* Original tracklist; contains "Can't You Feel My Love", "Boy In The Tree", "Money", "Dance With A Devil", "Is It Love", and "Ma Baker."
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" appears in its original form.
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" appears in its original form: similar to the single version, through with the chorus like that of the US album version, rather than the single version's hip-hop chorus.
GERMAN LP
* "All Or Nothing" ends with a few seconds of German chatter.
* "All Or Nothing" is 3:23.
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" appears in its original form.
* "Girl You Know It's True" is 3:58 - most likely the heavily edited 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' that appeared on the "Greatest Hits" CD.
* "Hush" is included.
GERMAN CD
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 8:49 'Super Club Mix'.
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" is included as a bonus track after "Hush."
SPANISH/MEXICAN LP
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 4:12 US album version.
* "Hush" is missing.
* "All Or Nothing" is allegedly 3:44.
ALL OR NOTHING / 2x2 - the English versions
GENERAL
* "All Or Nothing" is missing its German chatter.
* "Hush" is missing.
* "Girl You Know It's True" is the 8:08 uncut 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix.'
"ALL OR NOTHING" - CD
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" is included as a bonus track after GYNIT.
"2x2" - 2-LP SET
* Packages the complete English version of 'All Or Nothing' with 'All Or Nothing: The US Remix Album.' The 8:08 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYNIT appears twice.
"2x2" - CD
* The first 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYNIT has been removed, as this version is a single disc.
* The standard version of "All Or Nothing" is missing.
* "Too Much Monkey Business (Maxi Mix)" does not appear.
GIRL YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE - the American version
GENERAL
* Several of the tracks (listed above) from the German LP are gone. "More Than You'll Ever Know", "Blame It On The Rain", "Take It As It Comes" and "It's Your Thing" appear.
* Both the 4:12 album version and an edited 6:27 'N.Y. Subway Extended Mix' of GYKIT are included.
* "All Or Nothing" is missing its German chatter.
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" is mostly a new version, with the chorus of the German album version. (Except on an unknown numbered pressing - see below.)
EARLY CD PRESSING
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" is a strange remix lasting 6:28. As this version doesn't really have the structure of a proper song, and resembles the remixes on the maxi single, it was likely included by mistake.
* "More Than You'll Ever Know" appears in its original 4:00 length.
* "Take It As It Comes" appears in its original 3:41 length.
* The original form of "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" from the German LP is used.
RECORD CLUB / MATRIX "-3" CD PRESSINGS
* "Baby Don't Forget My Number" appears in its proper US album form.
* "More Than You'll Ever Know" has been extended to 4:32.
* "Take It As It Comes" has been extended to 4:15.
MATRIX "-4" CD PRESSING
As above, except:
* "Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" has been remixed; the beat has been changed slightly, and the new length is 4:24.
===============================================
Well, there's *nine* variations! Any more?
(Also, credit where it's due - information about the US versions was sourced from here:
http://www.crapfromthepast.com/millivanilli/firstlp.htm)
Monday, May 31, 2010
(D/L) Those 'other' Pokemon versions, part 2
Oh, what the heck. I have time to post the rest of them.
BlueSea
ChaosBlack
DarkCry
Telefang: Speed Version [This game was the basis for Pokemon Jade. Unfortunately, a ROM of Jade itself doesn't seem to exist.]
Lugia's Ocean [Sort of. The actual Lugia's Ocean doesn't seem to have appeared as a ROM. What did, however, was an earlier version of this hack titled Blue Dream, which I have included.]
ShinyGold
Here's the second pack of PokePirates:
BlueSea ChaosBlack DarkCry Telefang: Speed Version [This game was the basis for Pokemon Jade. Unfortunately, a ROM of Jade itself doesn't seem to exist.] Lugia's Ocean [Sort of. The actual Lugia's Ocean doesn't seem to have appeared as a ROM. What did, however, was an earlier version of this hack titled Blue Dream, which I have included.] ShinyGoldAlright, that's all I have in terms of the phony 'Version' carts... and again, I must insist, support the official Nintendo games. They're a lot better than this crap.
(D/L) Those 'other' Pokemon versions, part 1
I see it now - you're a Pokemon fan. You've followed the series since grade school. You made sure to keep up with all the different variations... Gold, Silver, Emerald, etcetera. But then you searched for Pokemon stuff on sites like eBay and iOffer and realized that there are OTHER VERSIONS out there you never even heard of! You need to buy them as soon as possible!
Yeah, don't bother.
I've noticed recently, even though eBay no longer permits these unauthorized "Versions," more permissive sites like iOffer have dozens of sellers trying to pawn bootleg Pokemon carts off to unsuspecting buyers. People should've caught onto the telltale signs - cheap cover art (seriously, you should see the back cover blurbs on these things), dull-looking cartridges, inconsistent fonts, and oh yeah, the fact that Nintendo never promoted them. But they still sell. And they shouldn't.
So, I've searched the Internet far and wide to bring you ROMs of the most common pirate "Versions." You can play them for free and see what you would've wasted your money on, instead of putting money in a scammer's pocket.
Here's the first pack:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H3ZHW362
Arcoiris [Rainbow]
CrystalShards
Diamond [Telefang: Power Version]
Frigo Returns
Naranja [Orange]
Perla
Quartz
The second batch will come tomorrow. In the meantime, go out and buy REAL Nintendo versions! They're a hell of a lot more entertaining and/or playable.
Yeah, don't bother.
I've noticed recently, even though eBay no longer permits these unauthorized "Versions," more permissive sites like iOffer have dozens of sellers trying to pawn bootleg Pokemon carts off to unsuspecting buyers. People should've caught onto the telltale signs - cheap cover art (seriously, you should see the back cover blurbs on these things), dull-looking cartridges, inconsistent fonts, and oh yeah, the fact that Nintendo never promoted them. But they still sell. And they shouldn't.
So, I've searched the Internet far and wide to bring you ROMs of the most common pirate "Versions." You can play them for free and see what you would've wasted your money on, instead of putting money in a scammer's pocket.
Here's the first pack:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H3ZHW362
Arcoiris [Rainbow] CrystalShards Diamond [Telefang: Power Version] Frigo Returns Naranja [Orange] Perla QuartzThe second batch will come tomorrow. In the meantime, go out and buy REAL Nintendo versions! They're a hell of a lot more entertaining and/or playable.
Friday, May 28, 2010
The most tantalizing FAKE Beatleg ever...
Since I first bought the book, I've found the back cover of John Winn's "Beatlegmania Vol. 3" quite fascinating. It depicts a scan from a 1981 bootleg catalog, detailing the bootlegger's latest release, entitled "The Black Album of Lost Tracks." This is a two-LP set, with what seems to be an utterly impossible tracklist.
You know I love phony Beatles tracks, so I thought I'd reproduce the track descriptions here, and discuss each of them in an attempt to reveal the truth about each... The quotes are taken directly from the ad. The guy really tries to play up tracks to make the package seem legit.
SIDE ONE
1) When I Come To Town (Abbey Road outtake - John & Paul, good mono) - As far as I am aware, this was a bootlegger's false title for Ringo's "Early 1970", as this phrase does appear in the lyrics. I've also heard this as a title for George's ATMP-era demo "Nowhere To Go", which includes the phrase 'when everybody comes to town'. Neither of these songs involve John OR Paul. And we'll get back to "Early 1970" later...
2) I Should Like To Live Up A Tree (Abbey Road outtake - Ringo, good stereo) - Frequent visitors to this blog should recognize this one. The Ringo notation is correct, as this was either a journalist or bootlegger's mistaken title for "Octopus's Garden." I *guess*, given that OP outtakes exist, this is technically possible. (And of course, long after this ad was printed, the folks at Junk Headz slapped it onto a "Get Back"-era John improv with appropriate lyrics, so it could be used either way.)
3) Colliding Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake - John, excellent stereo) - Really? Getting into these ones quick, aren't we? This was a song title fabricated by a fan named Martin Lewis to pad out an early Seventies article in the New Musical Express about the Beatles' supposed unreleased tracks. (Fans would eventually create their own visions of this track however; R. Stevie Moore released a single under this title, and the Beatles bootleg "Relativity Cadenza Vol. 2" contains an outfake of this title, created using trippy Beatle and Rutle samples.)
4) India (Sgt Pepper outtake - George, good mono) - While John would eventually write a song of this title after leaving the Beatles, George didn't.
5) Not Guilty (White Album outtake - original Beatles version, George, excellent mono) - *GASP* Oh my God, a song that actually exists!
6) Sgt. Pepper Medley ("five unfinished cuts from Pepper put together - a fantastic compilation", excellent stereo) - Man, all these supposed lost Pepper tracks. As far as anyone is aware, the only 'lost' Sgt Pepper tracks are "Anything" and "Carnival Of Light"; the other three rejects ("Strawberry Fields", "Penny Lane", and "Northern Song") appeared elsewhere. Besides, what are these alleged unfinished cuts, anyway?? And in excellent stereo?! Damn.
SIDE TWO
1) Oh My Love (Abbey Road outtake - original Beatles version, "classic John & Paul", excellent stereo) - The supposed Beatles version of this is actually performed by a band called the Wackers. So, I guess this scammer could've slapped that one on here, as it was fairly common on vinyl bootlegs.
2) Zero Is Just Another Even Number, or Sgt. Pepper's Dream ("Paul sings lead on this really great Pepper outtake; far better than most cuts on Pepper, this should have been a single", excellent stereo) - Wow, a song supposedly better than most of Sgt. Pepper? Then... why wouldn't they release it? This is actually the first time I've seen "Zero" described as a) a Paul track, as it's usually credited to George, and b) a Sgt. Pepper outtake, rather than an Abbey Road/Hot As Sun track. At least he tried to be original.
3) Annie ("Another top-notch Pepper outtake, could have been a No. 1 single, features John, Paul & George", excellent stereo) - The supposed 'Sgt. Pepper' outtake given this title on old bootlegs is actually "Sun In Her Hand" by a group called Blond. Apparently, there is a Paul song by this title somewhere in the Get Back sessions, but it's nothing more than a brief improv.
4) Step Inside Love (White Album outtake, Paul, good stereo) - Yep, this exists. However, this was likely an educated guess on the scammer's part, as I don't believe this recording was brought to light until the Nineties. There *was* a 1967 demo of "Step Inside Love" circulating on vinyl at this time, but it was atrociously poor mono. But hey, who's to put it past a scammer to embellish?
5) Oh Darling ("incredible 8 minute version") - The eight-minute reel of Paul playing with vocal effects is far from "incredible", so I doubt he meant that one... there may actually be an eight-minute version from the Get Back sessions, though. As a matter of fact, it may have even been edited down for the Anthology 3 version. Don't quote me on that, though.
6) Strawberry Fields Forever ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Don't know what to say about this one; there are different versions of SFF, and they are in excellent stereo. I dunno about 'longer' though. I suppose this could be one of the slow, rambling, Mellotron-based takes that ended in little jams.
SIDE THREE
1) Circles & Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake, George with John, "features some fabulous guitar", excellent mono) - Bullshit. The closest to this title would be the White Album-era demo "Circles", which is George and only George, and features organ and only organ.
2) John's Dream (White Album outtake, features Yoko Ono & George on sitar, excellent mono) - Could be a bullshit title, though apparently there is a poor quality outfake claiming to be from the White Album era called "The Dream". I haven't heard this, so I don't know if there are any elements resembling a sitar or Yoko. The only genuine White Album outtake featuring John, George and Yoko (but no sitar) is, of course, "What's The New Mary Jane."
3) Not Unknown (Sgt Pepper outtake, George, "with really strange organ, similar to It's All Too Much", excellent stereo) - If this boot existed, I'd bet any money that this track would be "Only A Northern Song." Not only is that a Sgt Pepper-era George song that features organ and a cacophony of sounds different from, but just as noisy as, "It's All Too Much", but it's working title was the similar "Not Known." A track in no way fitting the scammer's description has also surfaced on Beatlegs, this time being a mislabeled copy of Blond's "There's A Man Standing In The Corner."
4) Heavenly Smiles (Lady Madonna sessions, George, "same far-out organ as on Not Unknown, sounds like bagpipes, this is a really fantastic cut, one of GH's best", excellent stereo) - Now, you know if he plays it up THAT much, it must be a bullshit title. Bingo. Although... "sounds like bagpipes" does fit a George song from the Lady Madonna sessions - but that's "The Inner Light."
5) Four Nights In Moscow (Abbey Road outtake, all, excellent mono) - Kindly consult my compilation entitled "Hot As Sun". Thank you. :-P (Yes, this is "Early 1970" again, and that doesn't feature 'all'; I believe only George had a cameo on that track.)
6) Proud As You Are (Revolver outtake, "Paul ballad, very good", excellent mono) - IT'S JUST FOR YOU! Uh, I'm assuming this was meant to be something different than *that*. This was a title from the Hot As Sun article which, through misinformed '70s Beatle books such as "All Together Now," ended up as part of other eras. Junk Headz (and me) seem to be the first to actually assign a song to this title... but obviously, it's far from being a very good ballad!
7) Here Come The Sun King ("the original, longer version", excellent stereo) - There is indeed an "original, longer version" of Sun King, but it certainly wouldn't be in stereo. John recorded a lengthy, repetitive instrumental version during the Get Back sessions, which later appeared on vinyl boots such as "Return to Abbey Road."
8) Sun Kings ("continuation, mindblowing", excellent stereo) - Your guess is as good as mine.
SIDE 4
1) Rocking Saturday Night (Paul, "from unreleased 1969 Beatles 'Rock & Roll' album", excellent stereo) - Do I even have to mention that neither this song or that album ever existed?
2) Shake, Rattle and Roll ("longer than movie version, from 'Rock & Roll'", excellent stereo) - While the Beatles did cover this in 1969 (and indeed, a longer copy exists than the hackjob on Anthology 3, not that that album would have any effect 15 years prior), this supposed unreleased album still doesn't exist.
3) Yer Blues ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Oh hell, it's probably the damn Rock and Roll Circus one.
4) Honey Pie (alternate take, excellent stereo) - A number of vinyl boots did indeed have a supposed 'alternate take' of Honey Pie. It was fake, being nothing more than a fan's bastardization/overdubbing of the album version.
5) Jubilee (original Beatles version of Junk, good mono) - I dunno, was the Esher demo circulating by 1981? If so, then yeah, I'll give 'em this one.
6) I'd Have You Anytime (original Beatles version, excellent stereo) - The Beatles never attempted this All Things Must Pass track as far as anyone knows; not even during the Get Back sessions, where songs like Hear Me Lord and Isn't It A Pity debuted.
7) Sgt. Pepper Jam ("outtake of theme", excellent stereo) - Not unless he skipped about 28 years into the future and got ahold of the multitracks; because while an instrumental jam version of Sgt. Pepper is possible to mix NOW, it wasn't in 1981.
8) All Things Must Pass ("This is NOT the more common version which was a Let It Be film outtake; rather, this is the original Beatles version cut from Abbey Rd.", excellent stereo) - Another lucky guess. As Anthology 3 showed, there was an Abbey Road-era version of this song, but I don't believe anyone knew about it in 1981.
Now, the guy claims to be selling 40 copies of this at $35 apiece. Not too bad. But he claims that the flyer is being sent out to 200 people, so we'd better move fast. This means that he either took people's money silently and just didn't send them anything, or told every person who wanted a copy that they were sold out.
Incidentally, the ad includes another album - a three LP set called "Sessions from Beatles Underground", featuring 12-15 minute session excerpts focusing on "Mean Mr. Mustard", "I Am The Walrus", "Revolution", "Hey Jude", "Mary Jane", and "Blackbird". While such an album would be possible now, there's no way in Hell he could've pulled such an album off in 1981.
You know I love phony Beatles tracks, so I thought I'd reproduce the track descriptions here, and discuss each of them in an attempt to reveal the truth about each... The quotes are taken directly from the ad. The guy really tries to play up tracks to make the package seem legit.
SIDE ONE
1) When I Come To Town (Abbey Road outtake - John & Paul, good mono) - As far as I am aware, this was a bootlegger's false title for Ringo's "Early 1970", as this phrase does appear in the lyrics. I've also heard this as a title for George's ATMP-era demo "Nowhere To Go", which includes the phrase 'when everybody comes to town'. Neither of these songs involve John OR Paul. And we'll get back to "Early 1970" later...
2) I Should Like To Live Up A Tree (Abbey Road outtake - Ringo, good stereo) - Frequent visitors to this blog should recognize this one. The Ringo notation is correct, as this was either a journalist or bootlegger's mistaken title for "Octopus's Garden." I *guess*, given that OP outtakes exist, this is technically possible. (And of course, long after this ad was printed, the folks at Junk Headz slapped it onto a "Get Back"-era John improv with appropriate lyrics, so it could be used either way.)
3) Colliding Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake - John, excellent stereo) - Really? Getting into these ones quick, aren't we? This was a song title fabricated by a fan named Martin Lewis to pad out an early Seventies article in the New Musical Express about the Beatles' supposed unreleased tracks. (Fans would eventually create their own visions of this track however; R. Stevie Moore released a single under this title, and the Beatles bootleg "Relativity Cadenza Vol. 2" contains an outfake of this title, created using trippy Beatle and Rutle samples.)
4) India (Sgt Pepper outtake - George, good mono) - While John would eventually write a song of this title after leaving the Beatles, George didn't.
5) Not Guilty (White Album outtake - original Beatles version, George, excellent mono) - *GASP* Oh my God, a song that actually exists!
6) Sgt. Pepper Medley ("five unfinished cuts from Pepper put together - a fantastic compilation", excellent stereo) - Man, all these supposed lost Pepper tracks. As far as anyone is aware, the only 'lost' Sgt Pepper tracks are "Anything" and "Carnival Of Light"; the other three rejects ("Strawberry Fields", "Penny Lane", and "Northern Song") appeared elsewhere. Besides, what are these alleged unfinished cuts, anyway?? And in excellent stereo?! Damn.
SIDE TWO
1) Oh My Love (Abbey Road outtake - original Beatles version, "classic John & Paul", excellent stereo) - The supposed Beatles version of this is actually performed by a band called the Wackers. So, I guess this scammer could've slapped that one on here, as it was fairly common on vinyl bootlegs.
2) Zero Is Just Another Even Number, or Sgt. Pepper's Dream ("Paul sings lead on this really great Pepper outtake; far better than most cuts on Pepper, this should have been a single", excellent stereo) - Wow, a song supposedly better than most of Sgt. Pepper? Then... why wouldn't they release it? This is actually the first time I've seen "Zero" described as a) a Paul track, as it's usually credited to George, and b) a Sgt. Pepper outtake, rather than an Abbey Road/Hot As Sun track. At least he tried to be original.
3) Annie ("Another top-notch Pepper outtake, could have been a No. 1 single, features John, Paul & George", excellent stereo) - The supposed 'Sgt. Pepper' outtake given this title on old bootlegs is actually "Sun In Her Hand" by a group called Blond. Apparently, there is a Paul song by this title somewhere in the Get Back sessions, but it's nothing more than a brief improv.
4) Step Inside Love (White Album outtake, Paul, good stereo) - Yep, this exists. However, this was likely an educated guess on the scammer's part, as I don't believe this recording was brought to light until the Nineties. There *was* a 1967 demo of "Step Inside Love" circulating on vinyl at this time, but it was atrociously poor mono. But hey, who's to put it past a scammer to embellish?
5) Oh Darling ("incredible 8 minute version") - The eight-minute reel of Paul playing with vocal effects is far from "incredible", so I doubt he meant that one... there may actually be an eight-minute version from the Get Back sessions, though. As a matter of fact, it may have even been edited down for the Anthology 3 version. Don't quote me on that, though.
6) Strawberry Fields Forever ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Don't know what to say about this one; there are different versions of SFF, and they are in excellent stereo. I dunno about 'longer' though. I suppose this could be one of the slow, rambling, Mellotron-based takes that ended in little jams.
SIDE THREE
1) Circles & Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake, George with John, "features some fabulous guitar", excellent mono) - Bullshit. The closest to this title would be the White Album-era demo "Circles", which is George and only George, and features organ and only organ.
2) John's Dream (White Album outtake, features Yoko Ono & George on sitar, excellent mono) - Could be a bullshit title, though apparently there is a poor quality outfake claiming to be from the White Album era called "The Dream". I haven't heard this, so I don't know if there are any elements resembling a sitar or Yoko. The only genuine White Album outtake featuring John, George and Yoko (but no sitar) is, of course, "What's The New Mary Jane."
3) Not Unknown (Sgt Pepper outtake, George, "with really strange organ, similar to It's All Too Much", excellent stereo) - If this boot existed, I'd bet any money that this track would be "Only A Northern Song." Not only is that a Sgt Pepper-era George song that features organ and a cacophony of sounds different from, but just as noisy as, "It's All Too Much", but it's working title was the similar "Not Known." A track in no way fitting the scammer's description has also surfaced on Beatlegs, this time being a mislabeled copy of Blond's "There's A Man Standing In The Corner."
4) Heavenly Smiles (Lady Madonna sessions, George, "same far-out organ as on Not Unknown, sounds like bagpipes, this is a really fantastic cut, one of GH's best", excellent stereo) - Now, you know if he plays it up THAT much, it must be a bullshit title. Bingo. Although... "sounds like bagpipes" does fit a George song from the Lady Madonna sessions - but that's "The Inner Light."
5) Four Nights In Moscow (Abbey Road outtake, all, excellent mono) - Kindly consult my compilation entitled "Hot As Sun". Thank you. :-P (Yes, this is "Early 1970" again, and that doesn't feature 'all'; I believe only George had a cameo on that track.)
6) Proud As You Are (Revolver outtake, "Paul ballad, very good", excellent mono) - IT'S JUST FOR YOU! Uh, I'm assuming this was meant to be something different than *that*. This was a title from the Hot As Sun article which, through misinformed '70s Beatle books such as "All Together Now," ended up as part of other eras. Junk Headz (and me) seem to be the first to actually assign a song to this title... but obviously, it's far from being a very good ballad!
7) Here Come The Sun King ("the original, longer version", excellent stereo) - There is indeed an "original, longer version" of Sun King, but it certainly wouldn't be in stereo. John recorded a lengthy, repetitive instrumental version during the Get Back sessions, which later appeared on vinyl boots such as "Return to Abbey Road."
8) Sun Kings ("continuation, mindblowing", excellent stereo) - Your guess is as good as mine.
SIDE 4
1) Rocking Saturday Night (Paul, "from unreleased 1969 Beatles 'Rock & Roll' album", excellent stereo) - Do I even have to mention that neither this song or that album ever existed?
2) Shake, Rattle and Roll ("longer than movie version, from 'Rock & Roll'", excellent stereo) - While the Beatles did cover this in 1969 (and indeed, a longer copy exists than the hackjob on Anthology 3, not that that album would have any effect 15 years prior), this supposed unreleased album still doesn't exist.
3) Yer Blues ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Oh hell, it's probably the damn Rock and Roll Circus one.
4) Honey Pie (alternate take, excellent stereo) - A number of vinyl boots did indeed have a supposed 'alternate take' of Honey Pie. It was fake, being nothing more than a fan's bastardization/overdubbing of the album version.
5) Jubilee (original Beatles version of Junk, good mono) - I dunno, was the Esher demo circulating by 1981? If so, then yeah, I'll give 'em this one.
6) I'd Have You Anytime (original Beatles version, excellent stereo) - The Beatles never attempted this All Things Must Pass track as far as anyone knows; not even during the Get Back sessions, where songs like Hear Me Lord and Isn't It A Pity debuted.
7) Sgt. Pepper Jam ("outtake of theme", excellent stereo) - Not unless he skipped about 28 years into the future and got ahold of the multitracks; because while an instrumental jam version of Sgt. Pepper is possible to mix NOW, it wasn't in 1981.
8) All Things Must Pass ("This is NOT the more common version which was a Let It Be film outtake; rather, this is the original Beatles version cut from Abbey Rd.", excellent stereo) - Another lucky guess. As Anthology 3 showed, there was an Abbey Road-era version of this song, but I don't believe anyone knew about it in 1981.
Now, the guy claims to be selling 40 copies of this at $35 apiece. Not too bad. But he claims that the flyer is being sent out to 200 people, so we'd better move fast. This means that he either took people's money silently and just didn't send them anything, or told every person who wanted a copy that they were sold out.
Incidentally, the ad includes another album - a three LP set called "Sessions from Beatles Underground", featuring 12-15 minute session excerpts focusing on "Mean Mr. Mustard", "I Am The Walrus", "Revolution", "Hey Jude", "Mary Jane", and "Blackbird". While such an album would be possible now, there's no way in Hell he could've pulled such an album off in 1981.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
