The most tantalizing FAKE Beatleg ever...

Since I first bought the book, I've found the back cover of John Winn's "Beatlegmania Vol. 3" quite fascinating. It depicts a scan from a 1981 bootleg catalog, detailing the bootlegger's latest release, entitled "The Black Album of Lost Tracks." This is a two-LP set, with what seems to be an utterly impossible tracklist.

You know I love phony Beatles tracks, so I thought I'd reproduce the track descriptions here, and discuss each of them in an attempt to reveal the truth about each... The quotes are taken directly from the ad. The guy really tries to play up tracks to make the package seem legit.

SIDE ONE

1) When I Come To Town (Abbey Road outtake - John & Paul, good mono) - As far as I am aware, this was a bootlegger's false title for Ringo's "Early 1970", as this phrase does appear in the lyrics. I've also heard this as a title for George's ATMP-era demo "Nowhere To Go", which includes the phrase 'when everybody comes to town'. Neither of these songs involve John OR Paul. And we'll get back to "Early 1970" later...

2) I Should Like To Live Up A Tree (Abbey Road outtake - Ringo, good stereo) - Frequent visitors to this blog should recognize this one. The Ringo notation is correct, as this was either a journalist or bootlegger's mistaken title for "Octopus's Garden." I *guess*, given that OP outtakes exist, this is technically possible. (And of course, long after this ad was printed, the folks at Junk Headz slapped it onto a "Get Back"-era John improv with appropriate lyrics, so it could be used either way.)

3) Colliding Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake - John, excellent stereo) - Really? Getting into these ones quick, aren't we? This was a song title fabricated by a fan named Martin Lewis to pad out an early Seventies article in the New Musical Express about the Beatles' supposed unreleased tracks. (Fans would eventually create their own visions of this track however; R. Stevie Moore released a single under this title, and the Beatles bootleg "Relativity Cadenza Vol. 2" contains an outfake of this title, created using trippy Beatle and Rutle samples.)

4) India (Sgt Pepper outtake - George, good mono) - While John would eventually write a song of this title after leaving the Beatles, George didn't.

5) Not Guilty (White Album outtake - original Beatles version, George, excellent mono) - *GASP* Oh my God, a song that actually exists!

6) Sgt. Pepper Medley ("five unfinished cuts from Pepper put together - a fantastic compilation", excellent stereo) - Man, all these supposed lost Pepper tracks. As far as anyone is aware, the only 'lost' Sgt Pepper tracks are "Anything" and "Carnival Of Light"; the other three rejects ("Strawberry Fields", "Penny Lane", and "Northern Song") appeared elsewhere. Besides, what are these alleged unfinished cuts, anyway?? And in excellent stereo?! Damn.

SIDE TWO

1) Oh My Love (Abbey Road outtake - original Beatles version, "classic John & Paul", excellent stereo) - The supposed Beatles version of this is actually performed by a band called the Wackers. So, I guess this scammer could've slapped that one on here, as it was fairly common on vinyl bootlegs.

2) Zero Is Just Another Even Number, or Sgt. Pepper's Dream ("Paul sings lead on this really great Pepper outtake; far better than most cuts on Pepper, this should have been a single", excellent stereo) - Wow, a song supposedly better than most of Sgt. Pepper? Then... why wouldn't they release it? This is actually the first time I've seen "Zero" described as a) a Paul track, as it's usually credited to George, and b) a Sgt. Pepper outtake, rather than an Abbey Road/Hot As Sun track. At least he tried to be original.

3) Annie ("Another top-notch Pepper outtake, could have been a No. 1 single, features John, Paul & George", excellent stereo) - The supposed 'Sgt. Pepper' outtake given this title on old bootlegs is actually "Sun In Her Hand" by a group called Blond. Apparently, there is a Paul song by this title somewhere in the Get Back sessions, but it's nothing more than a brief improv.

4) Step Inside Love (White Album outtake, Paul, good stereo) - Yep, this exists. However, this was likely an educated guess on the scammer's part, as I don't believe this recording was brought to light until the Nineties. There *was* a 1967 demo of "Step Inside Love" circulating on vinyl at this time, but it was atrociously poor mono. But hey, who's to put it past a scammer to embellish?

5) Oh Darling ("incredible 8 minute version") - The eight-minute reel of Paul playing with vocal effects is far from "incredible", so I doubt he meant that one... there may actually be an eight-minute version from the Get Back sessions, though. As a matter of fact, it may have even been edited down for the Anthology 3 version. Don't quote me on that, though.

6) Strawberry Fields Forever ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Don't know what to say about this one; there are different versions of SFF, and they are in excellent stereo. I dunno about 'longer' though. I suppose this could be one of the slow, rambling, Mellotron-based takes that ended in little jams.

SIDE THREE

1) Circles & Circles (Sgt Pepper outtake, George with John, "features some fabulous guitar", excellent mono) - Bullshit. The closest to this title would be the White Album-era demo "Circles", which is George and only George, and features organ and only organ.

2) John's Dream (White Album outtake, features Yoko Ono & George on sitar, excellent mono) - Could be a bullshit title, though apparently there is a poor quality outfake claiming to be from the White Album era called "The Dream". I haven't heard this, so I don't know if there are any elements resembling a sitar or Yoko. The only genuine White Album outtake featuring John, George and Yoko (but no sitar) is, of course, "What's The New Mary Jane."

3) Not Unknown (Sgt Pepper outtake, George, "with really strange organ, similar to It's All Too Much", excellent stereo) - If this boot existed, I'd bet any money that this track would be "Only A Northern Song." Not only is that a Sgt Pepper-era George song that features organ and a cacophony of sounds different from, but just as noisy as, "It's All Too Much", but it's working title was the similar "Not Known." A track in no way fitting the scammer's description has also surfaced on Beatlegs, this time being a mislabeled copy of Blond's "There's A Man Standing In The Corner."

4) Heavenly Smiles (Lady Madonna sessions, George, "same far-out organ as on Not Unknown, sounds like bagpipes, this is a really fantastic cut, one of GH's best", excellent stereo) - Now, you know if he plays it up THAT much, it must be a bullshit title. Bingo. Although... "sounds like bagpipes" does fit a George song from the Lady Madonna sessions - but that's "The Inner Light."

5) Four Nights In Moscow (Abbey Road outtake, all, excellent mono) - Kindly consult my compilation entitled "Hot As Sun". Thank you. :-P (Yes, this is "Early 1970" again, and that doesn't feature 'all'; I believe only George had a cameo on that track.)

6) Proud As You Are (Revolver outtake, "Paul ballad, very good", excellent mono) - IT'S JUST FOR YOU! Uh, I'm assuming this was meant to be something different than *that*. This was a title from the Hot As Sun article which, through misinformed '70s Beatle books such as "All Together Now," ended up as part of other eras. Junk Headz (and me) seem to be the first to actually assign a song to this title... but obviously, it's far from being a very good ballad!

7) Here Come The Sun King ("the original, longer version", excellent stereo) - There is indeed an "original, longer version" of Sun King, but it certainly wouldn't be in stereo. John recorded a lengthy, repetitive instrumental version during the Get Back sessions, which later appeared on vinyl boots such as "Return to Abbey Road."

8) Sun Kings ("continuation, mindblowing", excellent stereo) - Your guess is as good as mine.

SIDE 4

1) Rocking Saturday Night (Paul, "from unreleased 1969 Beatles 'Rock & Roll' album", excellent stereo) - Do I even have to mention that neither this song or that album ever existed?

2) Shake, Rattle and Roll ("longer than movie version, from 'Rock & Roll'", excellent stereo) - While the Beatles did cover this in 1969 (and indeed, a longer copy exists than the hackjob on Anthology 3, not that that album would have any effect 15 years prior), this supposed unreleased album still doesn't exist.

3) Yer Blues ("longer, different version", excellent stereo) - Oh hell, it's probably the damn Rock and Roll Circus one.

4) Honey Pie (alternate take, excellent stereo) - A number of vinyl boots did indeed have a supposed 'alternate take' of Honey Pie. It was fake, being nothing more than a fan's bastardization/overdubbing of the album version.

5) Jubilee (original Beatles version of Junk, good mono) - I dunno, was the Esher demo circulating by 1981? If so, then yeah, I'll give 'em this one.

6) I'd Have You Anytime (original Beatles version, excellent stereo) - The Beatles never attempted this All Things Must Pass track as far as anyone knows; not even during the Get Back sessions, where songs like Hear Me Lord and Isn't It A Pity debuted.

7) Sgt. Pepper Jam ("outtake of theme", excellent stereo) - Not unless he skipped about 28 years into the future and got ahold of the multitracks; because while an instrumental jam version of Sgt. Pepper is possible to mix NOW, it wasn't in 1981.

8) All Things Must Pass ("This is NOT the more common version which was a Let It Be film outtake; rather, this is the original Beatles version cut from Abbey Rd.", excellent stereo) - Another lucky guess. As Anthology 3 showed, there was an Abbey Road-era version of this song, but I don't believe anyone knew about it in 1981.

Now, the guy claims to be selling 40 copies of this at $35 apiece. Not too bad. But he claims that the flyer is being sent out to 200 people, so we'd better move fast. This means that he either took people's money silently and just didn't send them anything, or told every person who wanted a copy that they were sold out.

Incidentally, the ad includes another album - a three LP set called "Sessions from Beatles Underground", featuring 12-15 minute session excerpts focusing on "Mean Mr. Mustard", "I Am The Walrus", "Revolution", "Hey Jude", "Mary Jane", and "Blackbird". While such an album would be possible now, there's no way in Hell he could've pulled such an album off in 1981.