While waiting for Zappa's "Lumpy Money"...

I had an idea, since a lot of people seem frustrated by the delay of Frank Zappa's "Lumpy Gravy"/"We're Only In It For The Money" sessions set...

There's a load of material floating around out there - in the meantime, why not make a (slightly belated) "We're Only In It For The Money" 40th anniversary set to tide yourself over? You'll need the as-nature-intended remastered CD and the 1986 bastardized remix, as well as the prototype version of the album and a number of alternate mixes you should be able to find online fairly easily.

(Yes, it's another DIY one. Sorry - all I need is an angry lawyer-wielding Dweezil on my doorstep!)

This is just my suggested tracklist; if anyone has anything to add or wants to suggest an alternative sequence, feel free.

================================================

DISC ONE

The 1967 Prototype Version
1 Lonely Little Girl / Oh No
2 Theme From 'Burnt Weeny Sandwich'
3 Mom And Dad
4 Harry, You're A Beast
5 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?
6 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)
7 Stuff Up The Cracks
8 Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
9 Mother People
10 The Idiot Bastard Son
11 Who Needs The Peace Corps?

The Original 1968 Album (side 1)
12 Are You Hung Up?
13 Who Needs The Peace Corps?
14 Concentration Moon
15 Mom And Dad
16 Telephone Conversation
17 Bow Tie Daddy
18 Harry, You're A Beast
19 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?
20 Absolutely Free
21 Flower Punk
22 Hot Poop

DISC TWO

The Original 1968 Album (side 2)
1 Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
2 Let's Make The Water Turn Black
3 The Idiot Bastard Son
4 Lonely Little Girl
5 Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
6 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)
7 Mother People
8 The Chrome-Plated Megaphone Of Destiny

The Bastardized 1986 Remix
9 Are You Hung Up?
10 Who Needs The Peace Corps?
11 Concentration Moon
12 Mom And Dad
13 Telephone Conversation
14 Bow Tie Daddy
15 Harry, You're A Beast
16 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body?
17 Absolutely Free
18 Flower Punk
19 Hot Poop
20 Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
21 Let's Make The Water Turn Black
22 The Idiot Bastard Son
23 Lonely Little Girl
24 Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
25 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise)
26 Mother People
27 The Chrome-Plated Megaphone Of Destiny

DISC THREE

Alternate Versions
1 Lonely Little Girl - single version
2 The Idiot Bastard Son - "Mothermania" version
3 Mother People - "Mothermania" version
4 Who Needs The Peace Corps? - alternate RYKO remix
5 Concentration Moon - alternate RYKO remix
6 Mom And Dad - alternate RYKO remix #1
7 Mom And Dad - alternate RYKO remix #2
8 Mom And Dad - alternate RYKO remix #3
9 Bow Tie Daddy - alternate RYKO remix #1
10 Bow Tie Daddy - alternate RYKO remix #2
11 Harry, You're A Beast - alternate RYKO remix
12 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? - alternate RYKO remix
13 Absolutely Free - alternate RYKO remix
14 Flower Punk - alternate RYKO remix #1
15 Flower Punk - alternate RYKO remix #2
16 Nasal Retentive Calliope Music - alternate RYKO remix
17 Let's Make The Water Turn Black - alternate RYKO remix
18 The Idiot Bastard Son - alternate RYKO remix
19 Lonely Little Girl - alternate RYKO remix
20 Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance - alternate RYKO remix
21 What's The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (Reprise) - alternate RYKO remix
22 Mother People - alternate RYKO remix #1
23 Mother People - alternate RYKO remix #2
24 Mother People - alternate RYKO remix #3

Why Sonic sucks now - an observation.

(Also known as "Le Horrible Destin d'Sonique le Hedgehog.")


Something occurred to me last night.

I think I've actually realized a reason Sonic the Hedgehog lost popularity - and the answer isn't just "Uh, 'cause every Sega console post-Genesis was garbage." Basically, it all comes down to the fact that people just can't cope with change - and this change was specifically brought about by the unavoidable switch to 3D. No matter the difficulty of any level in a standard 2D Sonic game, the strategy was always dead simple: always head to the right and you'll get out.

While some very rare occasions changed this (Scrap Brain 3 in "Sonic 1" requires you to exit upwards, but given that you're presented with about seven springs in a row, if you can't figure that out, you don't deserve to be playing the game in the first place), the exit has ALWAYS been located at the rightmost point of the level. Some levels were linear and kept pushing you in the right direction, but in levels that made you go to the left or up or down, your first instinct was always to get to a place where you could go right again. There weren't even secret exits off the beaten path - there was *one* signpost (or boss), and it was always at the far right of the area.

But when did this simplistic design all start to go downhill? "Sonic 3D Blast." The comfortable, 2D view of the right side of Sonic was replaced by an awkward 3/4 view (ooh, Graphic Design term!), and the exit was SOMEWHERE in this polygonal, blocky area... but where exactly it was wasn't at all clear, because *it wasn't to the right*. Not only that, but most exits weren't even exits - most just took you elsewhere in the level, thus rendering our handy, lone signpost obsolete. Oh, and you couldn't just happily prance your little blue self through these exits - you went through when you were *allowed* to go through. Unless you made buddies with a bunch of little annoying birds, the exit was useless.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that the most popular Sonic games nowadays aren't fancy 3D ones where Sonic turns into a werewolf (oh, I'm sorry, "werehog"), or those dark, emo Shadow the Hedgehog things... they're games like "Sonic Advance" and "Sonic Rush". Why? Because *those* are the types of games we're used to! Sonic runs in a straight line and the exit is at the far right! They throw as many gimmicks in there as possible (one of the "Sonic Advance" games has a level made of musical instruments that play when you touch them, for instance), but no matter how many gimmicks they throw in, the exit is at the far right. You can *never* say that you're permanently lost, because you know how to get out before you even see the level!

OK, case in point - the one Sonic level that the most people claim to get lost in is Sandopolis 2, in "Sonic and Knuckles." It's dark, it's vast, it's frustrating - and there's incredibly irritating ghosts. And what part of that level do people complain about the most? The section where you have to jump from one sand slide to the other. People don't know what to do. But look closely, because the answer is obvious: the slide you start out on takes you nowhere, because it's taking you *to the left*. The slide that actually advances you in the level takes you *to the right*. Don't slide back and forth for ten minutes and get frustrated (which happens) - get on the one that's going to the right! You should know by now that no matter what obstacles lie beyond the end of that slide, the exit will be obvious at some point if you just keep going in that direction. It's not going to change - even the upside down level (Death Egg 2), despite often making you go to the left, ends to the right.

So in a nutshell, a reason so many post-"Sonic and Knuckles" games are just considered crap on ice are because they frustrate us, all because they break one very simple convention. We want to go right, not 160 degrees to the left, over a building, through a loop, 75 degrees right, over a tree, etcetera, etcetera. Keep Sonic's blue ass out of view and keep him facing sideways!

That's my two cents.

(D/L) The Rutles - a few tracks to download...

I got a request to post some of the trickier tracks to find from my DIY Rutles compilation, so here they are in one ZIP...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8OQZ6HQZ

* Cheese And Onions (Nasty live on SNL, 1977)
* Fallen Arch Angel ('Let It Rot' outtake, according to the "Last Tea Party Tapes" bootleg)
* I Must Be In Love (Dirk McQuickly live, 2000 - I forgot to add this to the tracklist, but I thought someone might want it)
* Shangri-La (single edit)
* The Rutles Movie Medley

Unfortunately, I only had these (except "Cheese and Onions") in MP3 quality, but they sound alright. I ripped C&O from the SNL Second Season boxed set.

The Compleat Rutles - the boxed set that wasn't (revised)

In the vein of the DIY Spinal Tap compilation I posted about a while back, I thought I'd share the tracklist for another DIY compilation... incidentally, also centered around a nonexistent band. :-)


To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the classic TV movie "The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash," the fictional story of England's OTHER legendary foursome, I was going to put together a boxed set called 'The Compleat Rutles,' compiling each and every existing track I could find, arranged in 'chronological order' based on information taken directly from their fictional backstory. I had just intended to circulate it as a trade-only thing, but unfortunately, people a little too close to the Neil Innes camp (Neil wrote all of the material, and sang much of it as well) caught wind of it and demanded that I stop working on it. So, before the 30th anniversary year ends in a couple weeks, I thought I'd release the tracklist for anyone interested in putting together their own copy. The first information after the track title is the fictional recording information about the track; the second information (if necessary) is real-life info about what exactly the track is so you can find it for yourself. So here we go...

DISC ONE: 1960-1964
------------------------
01) GOOSE STEP MAMA (the Silver Rutles demo sessions, 1960 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
02) GOOSE STEP MAMA (take 1 from the Decca audition, 1962 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
03) NOW SHE'S LEFT YOU (take 1 from the Decca audition, 1962 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
04) NOW SHE'S LEFT YOU (take 1, 1996 remix / from "Archaeology")
05) NUMBER ONE (take 1, 1962 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
06) NUMBER ONE (take 2, 1962 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
07) NUMBER ONE (released as a single, 1962 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
08) BABY LET ME BE (take 2, 1963 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
09) BABY LET ME BE (take 3, 1963 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
10) BABY LET ME BE ("Twist and Rut" EP, 1963 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
11) BLUE SUEDE SCHUBERT (take 1, 1963 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
12) HOLD MY HAND INTRO (from the BBC TV's "Rutland Sound", 1963 / from the LP version of "The Rutles" soundtrack)
13) WITH A GIRL LIKE YOU (Royal Variety Performance, 1963 / from the TV film)
14) HOLD MY HAND ("Meet The Rutles", 1963 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
15) BLUE SUEDE SCHUBERT ("Meet The Rutles", 1963 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
16) BABY S'IL VOUS PLAIT (take 1, 1964 / from the Japanese version of "Archaeology")
17) HOLD MY HAND (live on Ed Sullivan, 1964 / from the TV film)
18) I MUST BE IN LOVE (take 3, 1964 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
19) BETWEEN US (take 1, 1964 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
20) BETWEEN US (take 2, 1964 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)

DISC TWO: 1964-1967
--------------------------
01) I MUST BE IN LOVE (single, 1964 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
02) I MUST BE IN LOVE (raw mime track for "Rutland Night Out" TV show, 1964 / from the Japanese CD of the Idle/Innes "Rutland Weekend Songbook" album)
03) I MUST BE IN LOVE (live with mime track for "Rutland Night Out", 1964 / from the Idle/Innes "Rutland Weekend Songbook" album)
04) WITH A GIRL LIKE YOU ("A Hard Day's Rut", 1964 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
05) BETWEEN US ("A Hard Day's Rut", 1964 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
06) LIVING IN HOPE (take 2, 1964 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
07) LIVING IN HOPE ("Rutles For Sale", 1964 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
08) IT'S LOOKING GOOD (take 1, 1965 stereo mix / from the Japanese "Archaeology")
09) IT'S LOOKING GOOD (take 1, 1982 mono mix / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
10) OUCH! (single, 1965 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
11) IT'S LOOKING GOOD (live at Che Stadium, 1965 / from the TV film)
12) SONG O' THE CONTINUITY ANNOUNCERS (Dirk on BBC TV's "Not Also, But Only", 1965 / from the "Rutland Weekend Songbook" album)
13) IT'S LOOKING GOOD ("Rutle Soul", 1965 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
14) PLENTY OF TIME (take 1, 1966 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
15) TESTING ONE-TWO (1966 Christmas EP / from "Rutland Weekend Songbook")
16) DOUBLEBACK ALLEY (take 2, 1967 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
17) DOUBLEBACK ALLEY (single, 1967 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
18) GOOD TIMES ROLL (take 1, 1967 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
19) GOOD TIMES ROLL (remake attempt, 1967 / "The Children Of Rock 'N' Roll" from the "Rutland Weekend Songbook" album)
20) GOOD TIMES ROLL ("Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band", 1967 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
21) NEVERTHELESS ("Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band", 1967 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)

DISC THREE: 1967-1969
----------------------------
01) LOVE LIFE (take 1, 1967 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
02) LOVE LIFE (take 2, 1967 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
03) LOVE LIFE (live on the "Our World" telecast, 1967 / from the TV film)
04) LOVE LIFE (single, 1967 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
05) PIGGY IN THE MIDDLE (take 6, 1967 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
06) PIGGY IN THE MIDDLE (single, 1967 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
07) MY LITTLE UKELELE (1967 Christmas EP / from the Japanese "Archaeology")
08) CHEESE AND ONIONS (take 4 - film mix, 1968 / from the TV film)
09) WE'VE ARRIVED (take 1, 1968 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
10) WE'VE ARRIVED (take 2, 1968 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
11) WE'VE ARRIVED (take 1, 1996 remix / from "Archaeology")
12) WE'VE ARRIVED (take 2, 1996 remix / from "Archaeology")
13) ANOTHER DAY ("The Shite Album", 1968 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
14) CHEESE AND ONIONS ("Yellow Submarine Sandwich", 1969 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
15) FALLEN ARCH ANGEL (from the "Get Up And Go" sessions, 1969 / from the "Rutland Weekend Television" TV show)
16) GET UP AND GO (take 236, 1969 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
17) GET UP AND GO (take 237, 1969 / from the "Sweet Rutle Tracks" bootleg)
18) GET UP AND GO (live on the Rutle Corps rooftop, 1969 / from the TV film)
19) TODAY IS OUR WEDDING DAY (Dirk home demo, 1969 / from the TV film)
20) GET UP AND GO (single, 1969 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
21) LET'S BE NATURAL ("Shabby Road", 1969 / from "The Rutles" soundtrack)
22) LULLABY (Nasty home demo, 1969 / from the Japanese "Archaeology")

DISC FOUR: 1969-2007
---------------------------
01) MAJOR HAPPY'S UP AND COMING ONCE UPON A GOOD TIME BAND (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
02) RENDEZVOUS (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
03) QUESTIONNAIRE (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
04) LONELY-PHOBIA (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
05) HEY MISTER! (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
06) EASY LISTENING (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
07) THE KNICKER ELASTIC KING (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
08) I LOVE YOU (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
09) EINE KLEINE MIDDLE KLASSE MUSIK (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
10) JOE PUBLIC (the Rutles' unreleased 1969 album / "Archaeology")
11) CHEESE AND ONIONS (Nasty live on SNL, 1977 / "Saturday Night Live: The Complete Second Season" DVD set - the same episode also includes "Shangri-La", but it's the original Neil Innes version, as the Rutleized version was still years away)
12) UNFINISHED WORDS (unreleased Nasty track from c. 1978, completed in 1996 / "Archaeology")
13) GING GANG GOOLIE (Dirk and Stig single a-side, 1978 - this is actually real. The tracks have been bootlegged a few times; I recommend looking for the boot "Sgt. Rutter's Only Darts Club Band", where they appeared in great quality.)
14) MR. SHEENE (Dirk and Stig single b-side, 1978)
15) THE RUTLES MOVIE MEDLEY (single, 1982 / this one seems to pop up on Peer-to-Peer, but I'll post it on here if anyone needs it)
16) UNDER MY SKIN ("Archaeology" outtake, 1996 / from the 2007 reissue of "Archaeology")
17) SHANGRI-LA (edit from "Shangri-La" single, 1996)
18) SHANGRI-LA ("Archaeology", 1996)
19) DON'T KNOW WHY ("Archaeology", 1996)
20) BACK IN '64 ("Archaeology", 1996)
21) RUT-A-LOT (from the 2007 reissue of "Archaeology")

Phew! Hell of a lot of output for a Beatles parody! :-D