The Rocky Horror game you never saw

Computer games, the couple that have been made on the subject, haven't been particularly kind to Rocky Horror. What version of Rocky the "Rocky Interactive Horror Show" was supposed to be based on, I have no idea. (The characters, and the castle, are VERY vague resemblances to those of the movie - and this was a game made with Richard O'Brien's involvement. I assume it was based on a stage version?) But, in 2000, I tried to make the situation even worse.

At the time, folks were still making variations of "ZZT", an INCREDIBLY cheap-looking DOS game that used ASCII characters for graphics - the protagonist being an ASCII smiley face. The game had a built-in 'world editor' that allowed you to design your own ZZT environments. I decided to create "The Rocky Horror ZZT Show". And God, was it terrible. (I could use the excuse that I was only thirteen and dumb, but I won't waste my time.)

Here are a few screen captures - you can click to enlarge them.

"Crappy" was a pretty decent description.

The foyer.... check out the size of that elevator. Walking into the grandfather clock took you into a couple pages of misinformation-filled text about the movie.

The ballroom. The "green door" text was a desperate attempt to get people to check out locations in the proper order of the movie - but honestly, I'm so thankful I didn't let other people see this back when I actually thought it was *good*. :-P

This drawing. The biggest insult to Frank ever made by a fan, ever.

The lab, accessed (of course) through the elevator. As you might've guessed, all the little smiley faces represent Transylvanians...

With complete disregard for proper chronology, viewing the monitor in the lab during what was meant to be Rocky's creation shows you wonderful artistic interpretations of the bedroom scenes.

Frank and Rocky's bedroom. Frank (the dark blue smiley) tells you to get out.

Skipping forward a little bit (everything takes about five minutes total to go through, as it really isn't much of a game), this is the Rocky/Janet reveal.

Dinner scene. To progress, you have to go visit Columbia. I apologize to Nell for what's coming.

Not only is THIS meant to be Columbia (yes, I considered putting a red dot in her shirt rip), but she talks like a cross between Nurse Ansalong (who appears elsewhere in the game, for no reason) and a four year old. Want me to make this even more painful? I was gonna have a mini game that you played on Columbia's Nintendo. It was called "Destroyer 2: The Destruction of Denton!" I couldn't get it to work properly.

Hell with "Planet Schmanet Janet" - here's "Walk Like An Egyptian"!

Statues. Obviously, Brad was hideously mangled before being Medusa'd. This is as far as I got.

There's a little bit more to see, but honestly.... you don't want to. You really, really don't want to. I mean, if I had the ability, I'd make a first person Rocky game where you could navigate a sweet 3D castle, but I can't. For now at least.

Rocky Horror - a movie of many faces!

I just posted about this on IMDB, and thought I would elaborate on it here... unbeknownst to most viewers, there are WAY too many variations on "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", putting it on par with the ever-changing cuts of "Caligula." For you anal retentive collectors, don't worry - many of the various permutations are viewable on the DVD.

The question remains, however... which of these do you consider to be the *ultimate* version?

1a) Stereo UK version - 100 minute cut, containing "Super Heroes." Songs have been remixed/altered from their original forms. [DVD - UK version + 5.1 audio]

1b) Mono UK version - 100 minute cut, containing "Super Heroes." Songs are in their original forms, and noticeably different from the stereo version. "Time Warp" has more voices in the chorus, "Touch Me" has echo, "Floor Show" has Rocky's actual singing voice, Janet's "Floor Show" verse is a different vocal take, etc..... [DVD - UK version + mono]

2a) Stereo US version - 98 minute cut, lacking "Super Heroes." Most common version released on VHS, and also the basis for US TV edits. Songs are in their remixed/altered forms. [DVD - US version + 5.1 audio]

2b) "Mono US version" - 98 minute cut, lacking "Super Heroes." Songs are unremixed or alternate takes. Though possible to create on the DVD, I'm very doubtful that an actual mono print was ever shown in American theaters; I believe that, until the DVD, the mono soundtrack was only ever paired with the longer print. [DVD - US version + mono]

3) Bastardized US version - A sad attempt to create a 'happy ending'. Not only is "Super Heroes" missing, but "Science Fiction Reprise" has been replaced with "The Time Warp." While not included in full on the DVD, the redubbed US ending was included on disc 2 of the 25th Anniversary set.

4) Misprint version - Not sure about the origin of this version... this print mistakenly matched the audio from the US ending with the video of the UK ending, meaning that while "Super Heroes" footage is seen, the edited version is heard. This bizarre ending is also included on disc 2 of the 25th Anniversary set... sadly, without any further information detailing why it exists.

5a) Easter Egg stereo UK version
5b) Easter Egg mono UK version
5c) Easter Egg stereo US version
5d) Easter Egg mono US version
These four variations all revolve around a hidden feature on the DVD, allowing whatever variation chosen by the viewer to also include the first several scenes in black and white, switching permanently to color at the first verse of "Time Warp." This concept was originally mentioned in the screenplay... though, it should be noted, NOT exactly how it appeared on the DVD. The switch to color was originally intended for the start of "Sweet Transvestite."

Not to mention, a couple fan-created variations exist as well.

* Artificially extended versions - Though this was almost assuredly never officially compiled by Fox, fans have chosen at various times since its original release on the 20th anniversary VHS to splice "Once In A While" back into the movie. While there is no set-in-stone version like this, the various fan-created extended cuts are most likely near-identical, and most likely all use the UK version in order to contain the most content.

* Alternate "Science Fiction" versions - Again, while no official version was created by 20th Century Fox, some fans have opted to replace the lips intro with a montage of sci-fi film clips, as per the original shooting script. There is no set-in-stone version like this either, and all compilations seem to vary in some way.

Of course, there have been countless butchered versions aired on American TV, but those probably don't bear thinking about.