(Oh, and mind the odd formatting - that was the result of copying something from MS Word onto Blogger!)
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PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE:
THE UPPER COOLSVILLE MALL, EVENING
From blackness, the screen fills with gleaming moonlight. The camera pans down from it, through a mass of stars and dim shades of blue. Thunder and lightning cracks...several deafening, quick bolts of lightning form a diamond WB logo. Leaving the sky, we pan down into a very high shot of a smoky city, late into the evening. Skyscrapers and lights stretch out as far as the eye can see. The camera moves further and further down through the sky, with fog first forming the title, then the credits, while music builds. It floats down and down until it rests in the endless, empty parking lot of an enormous shopping mall. Fast typewriter clicks track a caption as it moves across the screen:
THE LOCATION: THE UPPER COOLSVILLE MALL.
The camera leaves the caption behind as it drifts towards the magnificent glass entrance, which has yellow police tape stretched across it. The camera tears through the tape, and the doors slide to either side. The music suddenly quiets to a low, eerie tone. We are now inside the mall - the main body of the mall is dark and threatening, but each individual store is brightly lit with surreal, neon lights. Another typewritten caption darts across the screen.
THE TIME: 10:30 P.M.
As eerie music builds, a faint jingling noise echoes across the large, open area. A final caption appears.
THE CASE: THE MYSTERY OF THE GHOSTLY MONEY GRABBER.
We drift up the defunct escalators, and float around the second floor catwalk. The jingling noise gets closer... We pass empty store after empty store, several of which have police barriers in front of their entrances. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the jingling noise is right behind the camera. We swing around... it's Scooby-Doo! The eerie music suddenly changes to a happy, orchestral rendition of the familiar "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?" melody. He stands on all fours, darting his glance back and forth, and he's panting heavily. From a distant spot in the mall comes a familiar shout.
SHAGGY (Matthew Lillard)
Scooby-Doo! Where are you?!
SCOOBY (voice of Neil Fanning)
Ri'm right rheeerrre!
CUT TO: Shaggy, semi-closeup, yelling to the upper floor with his hands around cupped around his mouth.
SHAGGY
Like, we gotta find the other guys! I keep seeing weird stuff zippin' around here, man!
CUT TO: Scooby, who salutes him.
SCOOBY
Ri rhear rou roud and crear!
He looks determined as he sniffs quickly in all directions, then takes off running.
CUT TO: Shaggy, who suspiciously watches Scooby run across the upper level. Suddenly, a black shadow passes him with a "WHOOSH!" He's startled, and starts to back off - falling right over the railing into a large pond in the center of the mall. He attempts to surface, but struggles.
SHAGGY
Tell them, like now there's a monster after me!
CUT TO: Scooby, who's huffing and puffing as he bolts along the catwalk.
SCOOBY
Ron't rorry, Raggy! Ri'm ron their trail!
CUT TO: Shaggy in the fountain.
SHAGGY
And it was big, and black, and scary!
CUT TO: Scooby, still running.
SCOOBY
Rall right, ri'm ralmost there!
CUT TO: Shaggy in the fountain.
SHAGGY
And it like totally made this creepy "whoosh" sound!
CUT TO: Scooby, who skids to a halt. He looks angry.
SCOOBY
Ri raid, Ri'm ralmost there!
He takes off again.
CUT TO: Shaggy, who's splashing around more than usual.
SHAGGY
Like thanks, Scoob! And tell them to find me a rope or something!
Something taps him on the shoulder three times with a "tink, tink, tink" sound, then holds a rope in front of his face.
SHAGGY [suddenly calm]
Hey, thanks man!
Shaggy turns around, and his calm expression turns to extreme fright.
SHAGGY
Like, catch you later man, I'm going window shopping!
Shaggy leaps into the air, and darts off with to the accompaniment of the classic Scooby cartoon running sound: "Bappita-bappita-bappita-ZOOM!"
CUT TO: The interior of a small, brightly lit, pink clothing store with police barricades blocking the entrance. Round, stocked clothing racks are scattered throughout, and along one wall is a row of tall mirrors. In front of them, Daphne stares at herself curiously, holding against herself a neon purple skirt on a hanger. The clothes on a circular rack start to swing back and forth. A hand from within pushes the clothes aside, and a woman with black glasses and dark, shoulder-length hair crawls out.
VELMA (Linda Cardellini) [enthusiastically]
Daphne, look! I think I... [suddenly low, monotone] what are you doing?
Daphne doesn't take her eyes from the mirror, as she begins to pose with the skirt.
DAPHNE (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
Can you believe this? It's thirty percent off! I'm sorry, what?
Velma rolls her eyes.
VELMA
I think I found a clue, if you'd be so willing to...Daphne?
DAPHNE
Well, it's not a ring, but it's fuzzy...
Scooby skids to a halt in front of the store.
SCOOBY
Raphne! Relma! Rhere's a ronster rin rheere!
The two girls run to his aid; Daphne tightly clutches the skirt.
DAPHNE
A monster?
SCOOBY
Reah! Raggy raid ri'ts rig...
He makes a "this big" gesture with his arms, and growls.
SCOOBY
Rand ri'ts brack and srary!
He runs off, throws a black dress over himself, then jumps to his hind legs in front of the girls, and growls loudly with his claws pointed at them.
Shaggy slips and slides to a halt in front of the store - he's out of breath, and soaked, making a "squish" sound with every movement.
SHAGGY
There's like a monster after me!! It's big...
He makes a "this big" gesture with his arms, and growls.
SHAGGY
And it's black and scary!
He looks ready to do something, but looks around for a second, and sees Scooby in the dress.
SHAGGY
Take my word for it.
VELMA
I think this calls for a huddle! Where's Fred?
DAPHNE
Oh, he decided that in honor of our anniversary, he'd try to find me a nice present. [smiling] That was so sweet of him, wasn't it?
They don't notice a huge, black monster slowly rising over the railing behind Shaggy.
VELMA
Typical, just typical. Scooby and Shaggy - are you two brave enough to look for Fred?
Shaggy looks her right in the eyes with a mortified stare.
SHAGGY
Like, something tells me we won't have to!
The girls scream, Shaggy yells "Zoinks!", and Scooby whines in fear. The monster grins, and spits Fred out onto the floor in front of them. He gets to his feet, and brushes himself off like nothing's happened. He tries to act extremely tough to Daphne, as usual.
FRED (Freddie Prinze, Jr.)
Yeah, I'm just uh...I'm just concerned, because something in that thing was totally grabbing my butt. I felt that action was a threat to our relationship, and I was trying to get away from it before I had to resort to unnecessary violence. [to the monster] So, you keep your hands off!
The monster rushes forward, and shoves him out of the way. The gang scatters. Daphne stashes the skirt in one of the dressing rooms, Velma takes off to the bottom floor, Shaggy and Scooby stare in horror, and Fred starts to unbend a clothes hanger.
Velma, meanwhile, crawls along the floor as she tries to follow the wet trail that Shaggy left behind. She stops suddenly, and studies the floor.
VELMA [to herself]
It splits in two!
She looks up to the second floor.
VELMA
Shaggy! Scooby! Come down here!
SHAGGY
Like, no way! You're where that monster was, and like believe me, you're not friendly when you're possessed!
SCOOBY
Runh-ruh!
VELMA
No, I need help figuring out where this water goes!
SHAGGY
Like, should we trust her, Scoob?
SCOOBY
Ruhhh, roh-kay.
They cautiously move down to the lower floor.
SHAGGY
Hold on one second! Look me straight in the eyes!
She does so, with a completely confused look on her face.
SHAGGY
Like, she checks out, Scoob! No creepy glowy demon eyes!
Scooby wipes his brow.
SCOOBY
Phew!
VELMA
It appears that the water trail splits here. How did you get up to us?
SHAGGY
I took the stairs, because I like knew that thing was behind me, and it was in the pond too, but it wasn't wet, so like it was seriously floating or something!
Velma looks at him, dumbstruck.
VELMA
Jinkies, you're logical when you're frightened!
SHAGGY
Like, no, my drawers are filled with cold water, and I want to get out of here before my hide like totally freezes over!
The viewers haven't noticed, but Scooby has wandered off, and shouts from the entrance to a store.
SCOOBY
A crue! A crue!
Shaggy and Velma rush over, and Scooby points.
VELMA
Three of the barricades have been knocked down, and whatever did it had to've been enormous! I can't put together, though, why a monster would need to be in a travel safety store.
Something suddenly clicks in Shaggy's mind.
SHAGGY
Like, I got it! When he came up behind me, he was holding a rope, and like I'll bet they sell them in there!
VELMA
Exactly! I think we better investigate this store a little further...
Slide transition to the top floor, where Daphne and Fred are trying to fight off the monster. They're now both wielding unbent clothes hangers.
FRED
You're dealing with the wrong guy, thief - they call me the hottest jouster in Coolsville!
He jabs it at the monster, but it tries to float away in a hurry, and crashes into the cash register. The register falls to the floor with a crash, and money scatters everywhere. As it moves down to gather the money, Daphne jumps over the counter, and onto its back. She harnesses her arms over the side of the counter, to keep it from floating up again. Something inside the monster makes a forced, grinding noise.
Meanwhile, the other three run into the store. Velma puts her arm out in front of Shaggy and Scooby so they don't distract the monster.
FRED
And now, we're gonna find out who you really are!
He jabs the hanger into the monster's black skin, and tears a wide slit into it. A woman tumbles out, trying to shield her face with her hands.
EVERYONE
Mrs. Manning!
MRS. MANNING (Ellen DeGeneres)
Yeah, it's me, what are you gonna do about it?
DAPHNE
Calling the cops, and telling them we caught the crook, that's what! Keep her down, gang!
The other three pile on top of her.
MRS. MANNING [under the pile]
Hey, watch it, Rogers. Whoa, no dog rear-ends in my face, alright?
Several police cars pull up outside around the Mystery Machine, and a number of police troopers storm into the mall, run up the escalators, and take their positions in the entrance to the store.
VELMA
It's alright, she can't hurt you.
POLICE OFFICER (Colin Quinn)
It's Mrs. Manning, that sweet little old lady that runs the candy store downstairs! Why'd you do it?
MRS. MANNING
Oh, my store wasn't pulling in enough money. A nickel for a gumball here, a quarter for some Twizzlers there, I was going broke! So I figured I'd hide in the plants in the middle of the pond until the security guys locked up for the night...
VELMA
...and that's when she became the Ghostly Money Grabber. Just in case anyone got suspicious and tried to come back into the mall, she'd fly out and scare them away.
FRED [sounding very authoritarian]
She was able to fly by using a cleverly concealed interwebbing of miniature fans.
SHAGGY
And like, she stole those, too! After she snuck up behind me in the pond, Velma, Scoob, and me followed the water trail to the front of the travel supplies store...
VELMA
...and in the travel supplies store, the racks of travel-sized fans and batteries were wiped clean.
DAPHNE
In order for the fans to make her float, she made the costume out of taped-together garbage bags so there would be no excess weight; so when I jumped on her, the system inside couldn't handle anymore, so she couldn't move.
VELMA
And to top it off, she was planning to hit this store next - when the cash register fell, the drawer came open with no difficulty.
She pulls the key out of her pocket.
VELMA
Mrs. Manning unlocked the register as soon as the security guards left, threw the key in the clothes rack, and quickly got into her costume when she heard us arrive.
POLICE OFFICER
That's all we need to hear, gang. Cathy Manning, you're under arrest for the robbery of the Upper Coolsville Mall.
They slap her hands into cuffs, and start to drag her away.
MRS. MANNING
Well, I could've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids and that dog!
SHAGGY
Like, it's all in a night's work for us!
The gang cheers.
DAPHNE [to Fred]
Say, "Hottest Jouster in Coolsville," I seem to remember you hitting the ground pretty quickly last time...
FRED
Promise not to mention that again, and I'll buy you a nice, neon purple anniversary present.
They laugh, and kiss. Velma turns to Shaggy.
VELMA
Well, Shaggy, I've gotta hand it to you, you really pulled through again.
SHAGGY
Like, it was nothing. We weren't afraid, were we, Scoob?
SCOOBY
Rhuh-ruh!
Scooby laughs in his trademark chuckle.
VELMA
Well, while they're out celebrating, I think I'll take you two heroes out for a pizza.
SHAGGY
You hear that, Scoob? We're in for a triple-topped, chocolate-covered, pineapple-smothered, extra-pepperoni taco burger! What do ya say to that, Scoob?
Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
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