Lorne Michaels' 20 greatest mistakes (part 1)

I like SNL.  Seriously.... I've studied that show nearly on a daily basis since grade school, and have watched fairly consistently since the 1997-98 season.  And yes, obviously, Lorne Michaels deserves a lot of credit for keeping the show afloat and hiring genuine talent - such as the women in the current cast who were clearly all fantastic finds.

But I hear the phrase "genius" attached to Lorne far too many times.  For all the success he's had, let's look at things that bore Lorne's name that were far... FAR... from genius.

#1) The 1979-80 season as a whole.  The cast photo inside the DVD case is telling - faces of painfully tired individuals who didn't give a damn.  The novelty of the 'first five years' burned itself out during season 4.  When Belushi and Aykroyd left, the idea of dragging the show out that one last season seemed reasonable enough when five of the core cast members were still involved, but the remaining cast members were in turmoil and in no mood to be funny.  Garrett was going through extreme drug addiction and mental issues, Laraine was desperately ill, Gilda and Bill's relationship had fallen apart.  Sure, season 5 had its moments ("Senor Lopez", "Stretch Marks") but when the cast was padded with random writers and Dan Aykroyd's brother?  The flame of Seventies SNL had gone out, hard.

#2) The 1985-86 season as a whole, the second time (the first being Doumanian's year) that NBC wanted to cancel the show.  After Dick Ebersol and most importantly Eddie Murphy recaptured the show's popularity, SNL reached another peak with its all-star tenth season.  Then.... Dick left the show to spend time with his family, and Lorne was brought back to much fanfare.  However, the all-star cast was dismissed, and Lorne attempted to put together a 'hip, young' cast featuring youthful movie stars such as Anthony Michael Hall, Joan Cusack and, considerably older than the rest, Randy Quaid.  A lot of talent was involved.  Unfortunately, none of this talent was used, as the entire season consisted of extremely dull sketches, driven-into-the-ground recurring characters and dead audience reactions - which were replaced with canned laughter in reruns.  This season was completely written off, on the show even, as a nightmare and a mistake.

#3) The 1994-95 season as a whole, the third time that NBC wanted to cancel the show.  God, is it bad.  The last half of the 1993-94 season showed that the 'bad boys' cast and its writers were getting tired and worn out, and the audience's non-reaction showed that the damage had been done.  Stretch that out for an entire final year with that group, on top of which Chris Elliott (who was already well known) was hired and wasted.  Oh, and Sandler and Spade gave up any attempts at effort, and Farley screamed a lot.  And there was a lot of fake blood, vomit spray, gay jokes, and Jeanine Garofalo who hated her life.  And two more problems that we'll get to in a bit.

#4) Pushing Kristen Wiig to the forefront and considering her the absolute greatest female comedy talent in the history of the universe.  Obviously, this topic has been beaten to death - especially after 'that cast photo' from a few seasons back where Kristen was purposely seated *in front of* her cast mates.  A good example of putting strong belief in something the audience could not have been more opposed to.

#5) Firing David Koechner after only one season.  Yes, David is a 'love him or hate him' kind of guy, and what you see is what you get in most cases - if you've seen him in "Anchorman", you know exactly what persona he's going to carry in other roles.  But imagine what heights he could've reached given the chance to pair up with Will Ferrell on the air, for instance.

#6) Not hiring Steve Carell.  No, I'm not accepting "he was in The Ambiguously Gay Duo" as compensation.  Lorne *has* to look at Steve now and realize he passed on a genuine comedic talent, who, a decade after his failed SNL audition, rode to A-list stardom for said comedic talent.  In 1995, we could've had Carell, Koechner AND Ferrell in the same cast.  Think about that.  (Worth pointing out that a sketch that season, most likely written by Adam McKay - "Wake Up and Smile" - later saw ideas recycled for "Anchorman.")

#7) When Phil Hartman left, Lorne intentionally tried to replace him with another middle-aged actor - Michael McKean.  Seriously, when someone is easily one of your most successful and beloved cast members in the history of the show, you cannot just flat out TRY and replace him, and expect people to take to "the new Phil Hartman."  Michael McKean, whose career had already hit such peaks as Laverne and Shirley and Spinal Tap, was thrown into a dying show mid-season to fit in with a struggling cast and try to adapt immediately to sketch comedy, which he was unaccustomed to.  The result is painful... save for his first sketch featuring his Howard Stern impression (the second and last attempt bombed), Michael got some of the worst material in seasons 19 and 20, and it's agonizing to watch such an accomplished actor wade his way through utter shit.  When he even gets air time, that is.

#8) Morwenna Banks.  Long story short, Morwenna Banks was a popular English comedienne from a sketch comedy show called "Absolutely", where she was best known for her Little Girl character.  With absolutely no reason except grasping at straws when the show was quite possibly nearing cancellation, Lorne hired Morwenna four episodes before the end of the 1994-95 season and flew her to the US to become 'the next Tracey Ullman.'  Only problem - her signature character TANKED in its lone SNL appearance.  Well.... what then?  She had bit parts in sketches, and after those four episodes, was never seen on the show again.  An absolutely stupid decision from the get-go, something that her "Absolutely" cast mates also felt at the time.

#9) Norm Macdonald's firing.  I've heard it said on numerous occasions that Norm, particularly as the host of Update, was the only funny part of a bad time in the show's history (largely encompassing the 1994-95 season).  And yes, he is another "love him or hate him" kind of comic.  But for the most part, the audience enjoyed him.  That came to an abrupt end mid-season when NBC bigwig Don Ohlmeyer decided "Norm is no longer funny" and Lorne agreed.  Way to stand up for a team player.  Oh, and the biggest insult?  Replacing Norm on Update with Colin Quinn.  Some replacement.  Though given the history of the show, it's surprising that Norm's on-air "fuck" didn't get him fired despite his successes.

#10) "It's Pat: The Movie."  Nuff said.

That's all for part 1 - part 2 whenever I get a chance!