Crazy Dream Theater - BATHROOMS! BATHROOMS EVERYWHERE!

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WARNING: The post you are about to read is *NOT* for the
easily nauseated. I'm serious. You're walking into some
seriously sick territory here. Please take caution before
reading further.
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Note - If you came here to read about the Bee Gees' albums, let me link you to the three sections of that post so you don't have to scroll through what I discuss below to find them.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
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You still wanna give it a chance? Alright, suit yourself.

I realized something. A recurring element of my dreams is, oddly enough, public restrooms. And usually not pleasant ones. Dirty, nasty, vile public restrooms. Maybe because I've actually *seen* my share of dirty, nasty, vile public restrooms. Remember Michael Jackson's story about the bathroom in prison that had "doo doo and feces" everywhere? I've been in places like that. God, I have been in places like that.

Just to show what I mean about them being a recurring element of my dreams, here's a few of the past mental washrooms I've visited:

• A bathroom on the bottom floor of some sort of high school, with a very, very strange set-up - no stalls, just a big room with a vast network of pipes, attached to which were rows of toilets facing each other. Now, if that's not weird enough, the toilets were elevated a few feet off the ground.
• A bathroom in what I assume was a [department store I won't name]... this one haunted me for days. Very dark and badly lit room; the middle of the three toilets was broken and spraying water out of the stall; oh yes, and there was SHIT EVERYWHERE. I could go into so much detail, because this one is indelibly burned into my mind. I won't. Oddly enough, shortly after this in real life, I encountered a bathroom in [department store I won't name] that was in close competition with this imaginary one.
• This one's from years ago... see, when I was younger, I used to be sort of afraid of fans. I had a dream that my family was in a furniture store or something, and upstairs, they had one of those little single-toilet bathrooms where you have to lock the door. 'Cept this one had an odd trait about it - an enormous grate on the wall, behind which was a vast fan/air conditioning system of some kind, in some sort of lit, tiled hallway. There's a giant fan you have to pass not long into the second half of "Portal" that reminds me of this.
• Some sort of extremely creepy, dark, red lit restroom (this one's popped up a couple times - once it was in a museum, another time it was in a locker room?) with a similar affliction of human produce as the second one I mentioned above. No, I don't want a psychologist telling me why I have dreams about shitty public restrooms. I already know that's strange.
• Multiple restrooms where the stalls didn't exactly offer privacy - either multiple toilets were in one stall (I'VE ACTUALLY SEEN THIS IN A REAL-LIFE SCHOOL!), or there was a side panel missing, and people passing by the stall on that side could see you.

OK, so onto the strangeness of last night's dream. No, shit isn't involved.

I was in a vast library of some sort, with a few floors. On the top floor, there was an alcove off to the left with bathrooms. 'Cept instead of a water fountain (which you would expect to be in such an area), there was a urinal, right out in the open. And there weren't just two bathrooms (or three, 'cause some places have a handicapped-only one or a "family room" - okay, or four, if they have one specifically for children, which I've seen a couple times also), there were many.

To the right, upon entering this little side area, were two doors - "Men" and "Bathroom". Being a curious type, I chose "Bathroom". I walked into a tiled restroom that was MUCH larger than it could have possibly been on the outside. (A TARDIS restroom, if you will.) There were a dozen stalls, and a lot of people (both genders) in here. Even stranger, there were a hell of a lot of hand dryers all over the wall. Sort of. Some worked properly, some dispensed soap, some sprayed water. After visiting this bizarre room, I went in the "Men" door, and found it a lot more normal.

The more I explored this alcove (it branched off into hallways on either side), the more restrooms I found. One had a Super Mario Bros. theme... and no visible toilets, just a lot of pipes and mushrooms. (Maybe you were meant to use the pipes? Knowing my dreams, probably.) After this, I don't remember what else happened. Sorry...

The moral of this all? Public bathrooms weird me the fuck out.

God, I feel like I need to take a shower now. A long shower. Uh, but not in a public shower.